Saturday, December 30, 2006

Did You Ever Have To make Up Your Mind?

    There I was, in the supermarket aisle staring at the offering of room scents. Did I want my bathroom smelling like an Evergreen Forest, an Ocean Breeze, a Rain Forest Mist, a Vanilla Rose, or a Lavendar Boquet?  At that moment of great indecision, an old tune by the Lovin' Spoonful played over the music system.

"Did you ever have to make up your mind?/ To pick up on one and leave the other behind? It's not always easy and not often kind/ Did you ever have to make up your mind?"

I chuckled to myself.... suddenly realizing the world that we live in has placed us in a non-stop decision making mode.  I had 12 fragrances to choose from for my bathroom! That is only the beginning! Rice? Do you want Jasmine, basamati, Long Grain, Saffron, Wild or Brown?  Got Milk? You want regualar, low fat, non fat, soy, milk with acidolphulus,lactose free, vanilla, chocolate or strawberry flavored? Coffee Creamer? Let's not even go there!    Every aisle, begs you to ...MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

My mind continued....and when I get out of here, I will pass by McDonalds, Wendys, KFC, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Starbucks and Dairy Queen. And....when I get home, I will have to choose from 100 channels on cable or 120 listening channels on XM radio!

The song played...."did you ever have  to finally decide, pick up on one and let the other one ride"......"ONE" I exclaimed....there is no such thing as leaving "one" behind, not when I decide, I'm leaving a whole army behind!

I proceeded to checkout line, not knowing why I decided to allow this issue of "deciding" to overrun the calmness of this afternoon. The cashier smiled, "$45.56....will that be cash, check  or charge?"......I half grinned.....pulled my debit card from my wallet...."it's a debit" I replied. I swiped the card.....the small machine now took over and asked   "credit or debit?"  I clicked "debit"   "enter your pin #" it prompted..... "is 45.56 correct?  yes? No?........."geez" I muttered..when will this stop...I selected "yes"...."Cash back? Yes? No? It asked.....My eyes bulged, with my now warming I responded with "no", I closed my eyes....took in a deep breath, and calmed myself....."there will be no more decisions for the rest of the day. I will not allow myself to be confronted....from this moment on I am freeing myself from choice...."SIR!!" came the loud voice breaking my 10 second meditation....I opened my eyes....the bag boy staring at me..."Sir" his voice raised..."Paper or Plastic?"..I smiled and replied...."whatever you decide will be just fine!"

As we move forward into a New Year....a year that automatically renews our suscription to millions of decisions, I wish for you, a kinder and simpler year. A year that you can count on what you have, and smile at...what you left behind.

Peace and Blessings....Marc :)

Saturday, November 11, 2006


    Everybody loves to watch Fred and Ginger! The enjoyment of watching this dancing duo has transcended generations!

    What is the real allure there? What is so wonderous about their act that we are compelled to watch it again and again?  

    Their dance resonates with the very thing that we all seek to have with another partner. It's called "harmony". The ability for our heart to move and act similarly with the heart of another. To be able to react to the music of life simultaneously. This is so endearing to us. We all love watching it, as we subconsciously know, how difficult it is to obtain/maintain. We always want our partner in unision!

    There is, one step above being in perfect harmony with your partner, and that is being in perfect harmony with yourself. To be able to dance with your Fred danced with Ginger!  Its not an easy dance to learn,the tendancy to lose balance and stumble is quite common, but there should be no shame in that...unless you refrain from getting back up on that dance floor!

   The night is young....time to dance! Grab your Soul for one more spin!


I'm heaven, I"m in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When were out together dancing, out together dancing
Out together dancing cheek to cheek

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Pervis,Gaddis & Zippy

The back of my house is located on a canal. Each morning I step outside, retrieve my fishing rod from the shed and cast my lure out. It’s a meditation in motion. A few weeks ago a large peacock bass followed my lure and at the last moment turned and swam away, kicking at the surface as it did so. “Nervous?” I would call out. “What are you scared of…just take a bite!” This fish has made several repeat appearances, and thus I have given it a name, Nervous Pervis. 

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    Another character that swims by, is a  large catfish. I am not interested in catching it, but I do muse at its age, I am certain if it could talk, it would have many tales to tell. I have named this fish “Gaddis”. Many years ago, one of the first sports fishing shows on TV was hosted by a very talkative fisherman, Gadabout Gaddis. Also frequenting my mornings is a small blue gill that zips around. Like that catfish, I have little interest in landing that blue gill, but I do admire its energy.Thus,he has earned the name, Zippy.


    Last week my son visited from college. His trademark is to leave something behind and  once he has returned to his dorm, he’ll call and ask if I can mail it out “next day”! On this occasion he left behind his favorite lure, “the wounded minnow”. For me, I just don’t see why a fish would even give this thing a second look, but my son swears by it as if it had magical power.


   This morning I decided to change, I clipped off my old lure and tied on my son’s favorite, the wounded minnow. My first cast out, I slowly retrieved, a huge splash, and my rod was bent in half! It was Pervis! Thunderbolts of excitement went through my arms as I fought to reel him in. Just as I he neared, he gave one final strong tug and then…..the line broke! He was gone,,,with my sons wounded minnow lure firmly hooked in its mouth!


   There was a deafening silence …silence that comes with disbelief, shock and disappointment. I stared into the water….and became part of it.


   “Whoa there Pervis, what’s your hurry?...and what the heck is that hanging from your lip?” inquired Zippy.   Thrashing a bit, Pervis replies, “my lip? Why is something hanging from my lip?”   “Yes, Pervis, you got something there…hold still and I’ll get a closer look”  Zippy slowly swims closer….”hmmm….hmmm…oohhh..eeEEEKKs!”Zippy shrieks…”it’s a lure!”   “A lure??” questions Pervis, “what the heck is a lure?”

  “A lure is a one of those fake fish that has sharp hooks in and when they grab you, you get pulled out of the water by these monsters that live outside the water!”

Pervis’s eyes bulged. “What do the monsters do when they catch you?” 

“They eat you!” chimed in Gaddis, the catfish who now was on the scene. “Let me see what you’ve gotten yourself into” Gaddis swam closer to Pervis to investigate.

“Oh that is bad, those hooks are in your lip, they’re in  solid” Gaddis officially remarked.

“Pervis swam nervously in a circle, “oh my, now what, now what am I going to do? I’ve got this lure on my lip for life!..How am I going to eat?”

“Ya know,” piped in Gaddis, you’ll just have to become a vegetarian”

“Vegetarian!!” exclaimed Pervis, “No way!..C’mon guys, give me a hand here, help me, please!”

Gaddis and Zippy swam off and could be seen having a discussion between them. They slowly swam back.

Zippy spoke, “We think we have come up with the only possible solution”.

Gaddis then took over, “This guy that tosses the lures in here, I’ve seen him come here everyday. I don’t think he’s really a monster. I have seen him catch us fish, and then toss us back.”

“Toss us back?” said the puzzled Pervis. “Why catch us and then toss us back, what a waste of time!”

“I don’t know” continued Gaddis. “As far as I can make out, anyone who lives outside the water is crazy.Anyhow, this is our plan. When he comes here in the morning he will be tossing out that lure that you have been following, this time, bite into it”

“Are you nuts!” shrieked Pervis, “and get hooked again?”

“Will you let us finish?” Zippy bust out..then continuing Zippy said,”bite on the lure, this time ease up on your thrashing……he’ll pull you in….and he’ll be so darn happy to get both his lures back , for sure he will set you free.”

“And, what if he decides to keep me…to eat me?” asked Pervis.

“Talk to him…grant him three wishes” laughed Zippy.

The three fish burst out in laughter! “That’s the oldest trick in the book” laughed Gaddis. “Fisherman believing if they toss fish back in the water something good  comes their way”.

“Well”, continued Gaddis….its either bite the lure or become a vegetarian, you decide”.


    Later in the afternoon I spoke with my son. “Dad, I can’t believe you lost my wounded minnow lure” he said with great disappointment in his voice. “Don’t worry” I said..… “I have a feeling that I’ll be getting it back by tomorrow.”


Yes, I’ll have his lure…and three  more wishes to ponder!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

You Gotta have Heart!

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  Fifteen years ago on a cool September afternoon, my 10 year son and I went to the baseball field to work on his pitching form. He was not in his teams “rotation’, but I had assured my son, with practice his turn would come.


    After a few minutes into our routine a half-pint sized kid appears by the dugout. Dressed in catchers gear, he calls out “nice throwing, pitcher!” I looked over at this kid who was considerably smaller than my son. “So, you’re a catcher?” I asked. “Yup..and if you don’t mind, I’ll catch your son and you can go down to second base and I’ll throw a few down to you. I chuckled to myself while admiring this young boy’s gusto.


   My son had made a few throws, when in the distance I could hear a mans voice call out, “whoa, what do we have here, another Nolan Ryan in the League?” He was a middle aged guy with a salt and pepper beard, wearing a torn t-shirt and shorts that were riddled with holes.  “NICE THROW KID” he yelled out.His voice  with such enthusiasm, it sent chills down my spine! He was carrying a giant equipment bag on his shoulder, and let it fall to the ground. He walked briskly towards me while not taking an eye off of my son. “whoa kid, you keep throwing like that and one day you’ll be selling your autograph!”  He extended his hand out to me, “howdy, I’m Bill Riggans, coach of the Dodgers. We have a scrimmage game today against Quackenbush. Your son throws nicely; does he pitch in our league?” I explained that he was on a team that already had 4 pitchers, so getting a turn on the mound was not easy. “Well, that shouldn’t be” he commented. “Well, I have a scrimmage game in an hour, how about if he starts on the mound for my team?”  My jaw dropped, “start?....won’t your parents object to seeing a strange kid start on the mound” “Heck, he answered, “if any of the kids on my team could throw half as good as your son, they would start….”  My pride had to be showing, “thanks, sure, he’ll be ready to start for you.”  I walked over to my son and explained to him that his chance had come. I told him to stay with the coach while I raced home for his athletic cup, a baseball jersey and a bottle of Gatorade.

    My wheels schreeched as I pulled up the driveway.  “Where’s Adam? My wife quizzed. “I left him at the field, he’s with the Dodgers, the coach, Bill Riggans thinks he’s the next Nolan Ryan and wants him to start on the MOUND in an hour.” I was back in the car when the word “hour” reached her ears.


   When I returned to the field my son was in the dugout with the rest of his new teammates. As I handed my son a bag with his things, I casually asked if he had told Shawn Riggans, the catcher, his different pitches. Shawn piped out, “yeah, its all taken care of,  1 is a fastball, 2 is a change up 3 will be high and inside” “High and inside?” You want him throwing at the batters head?” I asked. “Yeah, cause the next pitch will be coming down the middle of the plate, but the batter will be too shaken to even swing…don’t worry Mr. I’ll take care of the batters”.  I could barely believe what I was hearing, psychology from a 10 year old catcher who needed extra bungee cords to keep the mask and chest protector from sliding off his small frame!


   Shawns plan worked. Adam pitched splendidly and looked like a genius with Shawn calling the pitches. After that day, word got back to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Adams coach, and he  finally did geta turn to pitch!


    The next season, Coach Bill picked up Adam in the draft. Bill and I coached baseball together, and the park was not the same for the next 6 years. Bill and I  have remained best of friends, and our memories of the days on the baseball diamond have sustained through good times and the bad.. My son Adam, had a fine little league and High School baseball career. Shawn….. Shawn’s growth was slow in coming, and while he made the H.S. baseball team he was used as bullpen catcher. He had six at bats in H.S.  While this may have bothered Shawn, he pressed on. His work ethic, relentless.His heart, filled with this dream of playing baseball!


   On September 6th of this year Shawn Riggans got his turn. He was called up to play in the  Majors by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.  This “half-pint”, grew ,and  has now had more at bats in the major league than he had while playing H.S.!!  He has played in Yankee Stadium, hit ground balls fielded by Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez.


Not all wishes and dreams come true. But, without a heart filled them what would this world be like!


Way to go Shawn!   Game against Boston Today!

Saturday, September 16, 2006


     I worked for a company that each year, the week prior to Christmas, they would order in lunch for all the employees. Each day of that week a different food was ordered in. There was always plenty to go around, and the left overs were quickly scooped up who get excited over "free food".

    On the last day of the week, a Chinese buffet was always brought in. This would really get Hilda going. Hilda was short, stocky , large breasted dame that loved Chinese food! She had been known to charge the line, pile up a mountain of food, only to return to the food line moments later! "Where does she put it?" we would laughingly ask.

    There is a  marvelous protocol that we are all born with. This "protocol" has us instinctively care for and protect our young. This "protocol" will have us jump when we hear another human cry in pain. This "protocol" will have our hearts open up and share with others who are less fortunate. The only thing that disrupts this "protocol" is selfishness. It's a selfish love that disrupts the simple logic of our nature. Thus chaos gets invited to the picnic.

    Hildas love, her selfish love of Chinese food which forces her to get on line, again and again, and have us wonder about that sagging bra she is wearing, is proof enough how our love, when executed with selfishness spoils the wonderful protocol that we were blessed with!

I guess her husband always looked forward to that sweet and sour breast of chicken!


Thursday, August 31, 2006

Confessions Of A Window Shopper

It's a favorite American pastime, window shopping! We are addicted to the sensations at the mere sight of luxurious items displayed in windows, showcases and show rooms!

"Oh honey, look at the diamond necklace!"  "That Mink Coat looks heavenly!" "Oh my, I can see myself in that Ferrari"

How unfortunate that the mink that surrendered its life to make that coat never got to hear all the "ohhs & ahhs". How unfortunate that the jeweler who spent a week of his life laboring on that necklace will never see the smiles his workmanship yields. How sad, that a mother of four, who sleeps on a grass mat, will never know the ectasy that is felt when someone sits in the leather seat she hand stitched that went into that Ferrari.

The more adavanced we become with technology and our global industrialization, the more distant are the "ohs&ahs". However, I am reminded of my fondest "window shopping" adventure, and that is, walking outside and watching nature. Chilren playing, a dog, a sunrise, a sunset, a smile, flowers..........each  vision so fine and exquisite in its construction......all made by one hand. I trust, the "ohs& ahs" I emit in the form of a thankful prayer, are heard and happily received by its maker!

"oh & ah" often.....He loves hearing from you!

Peace~~~Marc :)

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

JAVIER & JUANITA (The Sands of Cabo san Lucas)

                  Javier & Juanita  ( The Sands of Cabo San Lucas)


Tonight the moon is full. As I look out the window, I notice one of my jars of sand, labeled Cabo San Lucas. I collect sand from beaches everywhere. Many of the small samples are from beaches that friends have visited and have sent to me. The one from Cabo San Lucas was from a  woman I had some business dealings with. She went to Cabo San Lucas for some relaxation and with the hope that she would find romance in the great resort area.


    I had received the jar of sand with a note from her. Her note was brief, “got lots of rest, no romance…and you, you get your sand! Enjoy!”


    While I was touched by her remembering to collect and send me the sand, I was sorry that her ultimate wish was not fulfilled. I needed to thank her and remind her that the “search” should have as much excitement as the discovery. and that an unfilled desire should only be the fuel to continuing hoping!   This was my note to her.


Dear Nina,

    Your precious gift of sand has certainly made my day, but the news of your returning “empty hearted” has provoked me……


                                        Javier & Juanita


    Javier was a young man that lived on a small farm near Cabo San Lucas. One year his crop was so bad that he could not pay the mortgage  he had on the farm. The bank served him with a notice that he would be evicted. On the night before his eviction, he and his loving wife, Juanita, went to the beach at Cabo San Lucas. Beneath the full moon and a night filled with stars they fell into the sand and made passionate love. During those enflamed moments, Juanita clutched a handful of sand and squeezed it from her ecstasy. In that small handful of sand was an oyster and the folklore has it, that the heat from Juanita had caused the oyster to expel a huge beautiful pearl!


    The next morning they took this beautiful huge pearl into town and found it to be worth more money than they needed to save their farm! They were rich! Word of this quickly spread. Fisherman came by day and cast their nets along the shore hoping to catch an oyster! Lovers came at night and recreated the passionate lovemaking scene they had heard about, hoping the same great reward would come as a result of their passion!


    Javier seeing this crowd come, day and night, set up a small refreshment bar. People from all over flocked to his bar to hear him recall that night which had changed his fate!


    And you thought the beach at Cabo San Lucas was only good for sunbathing! Well, thank you for your gift of sand…..and in the event you are wondering, there was no oyster in that bag you sent. As they say at Javier’s Bar, “Aw shucks!”


Warmest regards, Marc


  As I lift this small jar, the tiny grains of sand sparkle in the moonlight night, just like our hopes. And I muse, as long as we have hope, we all sparkle!

Tuesday, August 8, 2006


…In 1970 I purchased my first car. A 1960 Rambler, also known as the “box”. For those of you who have never seen this particular model, I suggest looking up this piece of folk automobile history.


    The first upgrade this faded grey auto got was an 8 track player. Nothing could be more sublime than driving down the streets of New York City with Bob Dylan, Phil Ochs, and Richie Havens blasting out the open windows, wailing their songs of peace and anti war sentiments.


    Yes, in 1970, it was all about making a statement! I soon felt that the music was not enough; after all, everyone that drove had an eight track stereo and was blasting music. On a beautiful fall weekend, I collaborated with an art student and together we attempted to paint a huge smile on the trunk of the car. Bright red lips, stretching from the left rear light to the right light! The bright red lips were “my statement”. Many things come from lips, words of love…a sweet smile, or a tender kiss!


    We spent a few moments admiring our work when I noticed how terribly faded the front of the car was.  On the sides of the front headlights we wrote in an Old English font “CHE” (Latin for “short and chubby”). Satisfied with our artwork we decided to give CHE a test ride.


     Down the street we drove. Some of the cars tooted us and people were blowing kisses at my female companion, others raising their fists and chanting, “Viva Che Gueverra”. Che Gueverra? I asked, who is Che Guevara? “Oops” she smiled, I think Che Guevara helped Castro with the overthrow of the Cuban regime. “Groovy”! I exclaimed, as I turned up the stereo and allowed  Bob Dylan’s “rainy day woman” to come pouring out the windows.  I was thrilled! In a time when people wanted to be heard, to have their feelings made visible….I was doing it!  In the following days I drove that car and enjoyed the attention it brought…..till one day my sister needed to use the car! (She helped me finance the purchase). "Do you know who Che Guevarra is?" I used as my defense as she threatened to call her loan in.  Screaming back me with her high pitched voice of anger,"I don't care who he is, but I'm sure every guy in Brooklyn that has pulled up next to me while I am stopped at a traffic light and blows kisses at me, doesn't give a sh*t about Che Guevarra!"


    The road of life……drive that car as far as you can!

Monday, July 3, 2006

The Ice Cream Cone

To those of you wonderful j-landers who expressed a concern about my whereabouts, I thank you ..... and even if you gave just a passing thought , I thank you for having that thought as well! 

I have been faced with many serious issues over the past months.....I had to give this journal ....writing, answering your wonderful comments and reading other jounals a rest.

A few months ago my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It has since spread very fast and he is now very close to passing on. I have been placed at the threshold of many emotions I never could conceive. Today he has an appointment with his Dr.  and I know, the prognosis of this visit will not be good (being admitted to Hospice is at hand).

And so, with this moment and this need  to reflect, I wish to share.....                               The Ice Cream Cone<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />


    One of my favorite photos in my album is that of my 4 year old son holding an ice cream cone that I had just placed in his small hand. The photo captures his purely innocent expression of gratitude and joy. Viewing this photo takes me back in time, when I was four.


   The large ball balanced upon a cone and being placed in my tiny hand for my own personal consumption, was redemption! Nothing could come close to that creamy confection in making my world seem so wonderful. Not my two fondest possessions, my cartoon character underwear and my Superman T-shirt could bring me to that level of satisfaction!


   More importantly, it was where the ice cream was coming from, my Dad. In that small instant of my life, he was the ultimate Hero! Without him speaking, I could hear his pleasure in handing me the ice cream cone. I may have been too young to understand, but not too young to feel it as a moment of shared joy. As the sweetness seemed to melt within me, I was transformed from a world of lectures and warnings. I was removed from a platform of expectations. The ice cream cone in my hand was like a magic wand that just let me be me. 


   The years passed, and the distance between my Father and I widened. The expectations we had of each other missed the mark. Our geographies changed, restricting when and how often we could meet. The business of life  mutually disabled us to manifest a father/son relationship.


    A lifetime of years has passed since then, and while there is long list of wonderful memories we did share, the ones that standout is when he came to my rescue. Transporting me from an ordinary day, by taking a moment and making it special. If there was ever a time when he seemed so tall, so knowledgeable, generous and understanding, it was the time he handed me that ice cream cone.


    I stare at that photo of my son about to take his first lick, and he, not knowing that mound of ice cream would be frozen in time with all the love, joy and peace that was in the handing of it to that small hand!


Wishing Peace to all......make a moment for someone, it is the only thing that is guarenteed to last an eternity!

Marc :)

Monday, April 3, 2006

The Cow

A very wise man told me this tale which has such a rich lesson that one may use for guidance from the dark hallways we so often find ourselves walking through.
    Long ago, there lived a couple on the outskirts of the city. They lived in an old broken down house and their sole possession was a cow. This cow gave them milk to both drink and to make cheese. The extra milk from the cow would be traded for other needs they had.
    One day, a well known "man of cloth" and his disciples were passing by this house. The great spiritual leader stopped by the house, walked up to the door and knocked. When the poor man opened the door he could not believe who was standing before him! The Spiritual leader explained that he was en route to a Holy tribunal in a another city and would it be possible if he and his disciples could be fed a meal and be  put up for the night.
    The poor man still overwhelmed by the presence of this wise and holy leader responded with "yes, of course, absolutely, with pleasure I shall feed you and provide you with a bed to sleep in for the night!" He opened the door and allowed the entourage to enter. The poor mans wife hearing this, pulled him to the side, "have you lost your mind?" she whispered with puzzlement. "What do you think we have to offer them aside from some old cheese and milk?" He smiled at her and said, we will give them a fine dinner and they will shower us with their blessings. Now I must go, I have some work to do." The old man excused himself and said he would soon return.
    After some time elapsed the old man appeared at the door of house, carrying in his arms two large sacks, filled with the finest meats, wines and breads that the city had to offer! "Here!" he boasted to his wife, we have some cooking to do, our guests will be treated to one the finest meals ever!" Completely puzzled she asked, "how in the world did you pay for all of this?"..He smiled, "I sold the cow."
    The meal was glorious, yes , one would say it was fit for a king. The spiritual leader had a huge appetite. he ate, and ate, and drank the wine. He ate some more and drank the last drop of wine. All the food was gone! The Spiritual Leader got up from his chair and exclaimed that it was the best meal he has had in a long time. He expressed his appreciation and then said that he decided he did not want to lose any time, so he would continue to travel on through the night. He packed up with his disciples and left.
    The old man dared not show any sign of disappointment, as they were hoping to receive some Spiritual lessons from their guests. The old house was now quiet. The wife looked at the empty plates and bottles. "Everything is gone" she cried. "What are we going to eat tomorrow?" she asked her husband. Realizing he made a terrible mistake, he became very angry and upset with himself.."what was I thinking? I have sold our cow, we have nothing and it's all my fault!" He began to cry and ran outside into the forest and continued with his shameful crying. The old man stumbled through  the woods and his weeping was interrupted by the sounds of another cry. It was a very well dressed man, who was laying on the ground sobbing. "Sir, are you alright?" said the old man. Continuing he asked," tell me where you live, I will go there and get help for you."  The well dressed man on the ground was gasping for air, and with shallow breaths, he explained that he did not want his family to know where he was. He told the old man that he was extremely wealthy, but his family only loved him for his wealth. "If I didn't have a penny, they wouldn't care if I was dead or alive". He vowed that as retribution for their false behavior, they would not see one penny from his estate."But you" he continued gasping, "a complete stranger and you are willing to help me for nothing in return". He pulled the old man close to him and whispered in his ear the location of a buried fortune..."take it" he moaned.."you deserve more than they", and with that the wealthy man died.
    The old man buried the wealthy man and said a prayer. Then he went on to retrieve the buried treasure.
    Two years passed and the Spiritual Leader and his disciples were passing down that same road of where the old broken down house was. The House was no longer there. In its place was huge mansion, beautifully landscaped. As the Leader and disciples watched, the doors of the mansion opened and out walked the poor old man with his wife. They were dressed like royalty and they were stepping into beautiful horse drawn carriage!
    The disciples were puzzled..."is this the same couple we visited two years ago, who had not a penny to their name?" they asked the Leader. "Yes" smiled the wise one. "How did this happen?" they asked. The leader continuing with his smile replied "I made them sell the cow!"
......You can never know who you are, till you let go of who you were.
...............The best of who you are, is what you are always becoming.......
Marc :)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


       While  walking the dogs, they stopped at their favorite tree to irrigate it. I  happened to look up and notice a kite dangling from a low branch. The tail hung down just low enough for me to be able to reach it and release it from its capativity. Instaneously, I was reminded of the many Sunday afternoons that I would fly a kite with my sons. Watching the kite  soar and float so high against  a clear blue sky was always a joyous sight to behold. We would  for an afternoon, and as the winds would let up, the kite would become a victim of branch.  The kite would always be torn beyond repair.Its not that the tree acted in malice, it just happened to be there.
    I held this kite observing its unreversible damage, and suddenly I was overcome with a whole other mind wandered back to a time and place that is rarely frequented.......
   I was in my Senior year in High School, it was a Friday and my friends had arranged for a beach blanket night party near Coney Island Beach. Six guys packed in car, headed off to the beach with a giutar, blankets, a pack of cigarettes, lighter fluid to set a beach fire and a bunch of dreams about meeting some new babe!  One of the guys in our group had asked his cousin from a distant neighborhood, to bring her girfriends to the beach, the thought of meeting new faces was exciting!
    We found our spot at the beach, and set up camp. Once the fire was going strong, out came the guitar, the cigarettes and then the songs...."Puff The Magic Dragon", "Blowing In The Wind", "Catch the Wind" , "California Dreamin'.".....As the guys began "pairing off with the girls" I decided it was time to take a solo walk along the shorline and commune with Mother Nature. The slow rolling of waves, the scent of the night mixed with the cool ocean was the perfect partner for me. On my way back to blanket, I passed by a lifeguard chair. A soft voice called down "Hi There!" I returned the greeting and asked how the view was from up there. "Come on up and see for yourself" she politely invited me. I climbed up, sat down and introduced myself. There was no moon that night, I sat up there in  a shroud od darkness. "You sing pretty good" she said. "Oh, so you're with the group?" I asked.. "yes, I came with them, not sure why, the way they carry on.....I guess I just didn't want to be alone tonight".  From there the conversation opened up, we talked about the pressures of being High School seniors, she told me that she went through High School not having a boyfriend and the effect it had on her.We spoke of the  hurts that are inflicted upon us without others even knowing. "Marc, you seem like a really nice guy, I feel like I know you....I hope you don't mind.....could you put your arm around me?"  "SURE!" I said as bells whistles sirens and alarms went off in my head. She slid over and tucked herself beneath my arm and we continued talking. A few minutes into our conversation a girls voice called out from below "Hey Ivy, c'mon down we're all going over to Nathans for a bite to eat...the guys will meet us there, so you two lovebirds can continue there!"...
    She climbed down from the stand, I still could not make out her features in the darkened night. "How will I know how to find her?" I thought. I quickly climbed down and headed over to the car where my friends were waiting for me. They all looked at me with smirks...they broke out in song.."going to the chapel and we're gonna get married".......I defended my honor with..."hey guys, I was 5 minutes away from having one hand up her puff that in  your magic dragon".....The drive to Nathans was 5 minutes, but all the while I wondered....what does she look like...who is this sweet girl that is so inviting?
    We parked the car, hopped out and strutted by the eatery looking for the girls. "Marc!"..I heard a voice call out..I stopped, I recognized the voice, it was hers, I turned around and saw many faces..."Marc, hi its me, Ivy"....She was short and very, very pudgy, a rounded freckled face, and red curly hair. Nothing close to what I imagined, and physically speaking, no chemistry. My friends pulled behind..."oh, its the bride!" they chimed. I smiled at her....said "Hi....don't pay any attention to them, combined have an IQ of my age....Now, how about a Nathans Hot dog!"  We found a table sat down and continued to talk. We talked about the Viet nam war, she asked what I would do if I was drafted. We talked about horoscopes, first pets, and favorite TV shows. In the time it took to eat a hot dog, we got to know each other so well. "Time to go" her friend announced. She looked at me and mentioned that this one one of the best nights she has had and then asked if she would see me again.I knew she lived very far from me, and seeing her again was unlikely.
 I asked for her phone number, she wrote it on a mustard and coke stained napkin. "Call me please" she said....and then got up and left with her friends. I placed the napkin in my pocket.
   I never did call her again....but held onto that napkin.....I knew that napkin represented a hope, a dream......and I just could not trash it.
   Our dreams are born out darkness,  like kites, they float high above sky, soaring above our fears and beyond the shadows cast upon us.......but, dreams are like kites, they eventually fall.......only to find their way, getting caught by a tree, torn and becoming lifeless........holding only the joy that sailed in them!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

First Kiss

.......Prior to that kiss, there was a dark history....(this was an previous entry of mine Dec.2004).....

....skating back in time I can recall that tender age of 13. I first noticed girls batting their eylids at me, calling my name cutely, and teased me for attention. I was naive in noticing that it was "nature calling". When the time came for my first kiss, I was too shy and clumbsy to live up to her expectations!.......Word quickly spread, I was a terrible kisser!  At 13, there are no second chances!!  My reputation preceded my boyhood charm and good looks! The girls on the block had turned stone cold on me! I was devastated...and for the next few years, I avoided being placed in a close up puckering position. (aww)

    I watched T.V. shows and movies carefully.....I studied how James Bond would lock lips with his leading ladies....Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, Kirk Douglas...I watched them all, and observed. Through this careful observation I discovered that kissing was not just about lips being locked together, but it was the  intimate formation two souls, using the lips as a conduit for their passion. The passion of two souls!

    Many years passed, and in one night, the phobia was laid to rest, as I fell into the eyes of another and she whispered the words into my ear..."oh Marc, where did you ever learn to kiss like that?"

If heaven was ever to touch Earth, this was the night!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Do You Want To Know A Secret

     On any given night there are two hearts that are destined for each other. However, they are well contained and concealed from each others reach. Only the secret words, "I love You", can release them.
      These simple and magical words will release them! They  will burst from their area of confinement, race into each other, grabbing hold and dance in the rain of joy, tapping in the puddles of their passion, splashing droplets of magic in every direction! 
(Continuing.."Harbor of the Heart" entry ..2/23/06)
    Spring came that year, we shared that Spanish 101 class for five weeks. While my heart was on my sleeve, hers was well concealed. I had no idea how she felt about me, if anything at all.
    A party celebrating Spring was made, and we attended. At midnight, people began filing out, leaving just her, me, and another couple. "Lets go for a bite" suggested my friend.."I feel like something in Chinatown". We quickly agreed and were in  his car heading for downtown N.Y.C.
    We made it to the downtown area, the car radio playing the loveable sing along oldies. We drove along the riverside, the imposing skyscrapers, softly lit, were like giant ornaments for the night sky....the water, softly reflecting the light of the moon.
   We were seated in the back, I at one side, and her staring out the car window on the other side.
   The  song by the Beatles, Do You Want To Know A Secret? came on, over the radio
"You'll never know how much I really love you
you'll never know how much I really care.
Listen (do-wa-do) do you want to know a secret?
do you promise not to tell?
...........................................I sat on my side of the car, a huge grin broke out on my face...."gee, if she only knew" my heart spun its awakening call......
my lips went in sync with the song....
"Ive known a secret for a week or two,
nobody knows just we too, listen
I turned to face her.....and behold..she was facing me with a sweet smile and was singing...our eyes unison
"do you want to know a secret
do you promise not to tell
I'm in love with you"...... was followed with the softest yet most powerful kiss that I had ever come to known in my short life.....
Now, many years later I cannot even recall what occured the remainder of that evening.....I just know a part of my heart was left behind beneath a moonlight night, and in the tune of a Beatle song that liberated it!
Sweet liberations to the hearts that silently wait....your turn will come!  ....

Monday, March 20, 2006

Faith Interrupted

   When death, serious illness, and news of crumbling relationships resonate in my ears, my complete and unyielding faith in the warm hand of the Almighty becomes interrupted.  Once again, I turn and look for a clue...could there even be one? Why are our hearts allowed to fall to the ground and shatter as if they were made of fine porcelain. Can the Creator of worlds and time be so occupied and  removed from us?   And so I muse......
    As  my sons were growing up, they looked up to me for all sorts of answers, especially to their homework assignments!  When my youngest was 12, he saw me as a natural wealth of quick information.
    One night he came to me and said in a half whine..."Dad, I need help with my math homework...I really don't understand the problems."  ..... I always enjoyed being engaged and challenged...after all, eighth grade math was my calling!  " we go....if x+4 =8, we'll move the x to this side, subtract that side...."  and to his relief, I unraveled this dark mystery for him . He was never amazed at my swift calculations, after all, I was Dad, I was supposed to know!
    Imagine my amazement when he came home from school the next day and waved the homework assignment in my face..."Look Dad, an "F"....all of YOUR answers were wrong! I can't believe it "F"....!!
    My mouth fell to the open position and stayed frozen that way. Aside from the disbelief that I had incorrectly answered every question, was the fact that I let my son down..way down!  After rereading the questions that were asked, I understood that my approach to his assignment was all wrong, but that did not matter now. I asked him how much this assignment meant to the grade for the period. "Well, I was running a B-, but with this F, I'll be lucky to get a "C" for a grade.Now what do you suggest?"
   I had never let my son down like I had at that moment. There was no fixing this, I couldn't explain to the teacher that Dad was doing his sons homework and failed to properly follow instructions. I just looked at my son and explained that he would now need to work extrahard,. He would need to be  better prepared for tests and do some extra credit work.  "You mean I have to do all that extra hard work because you couldn't do my homework right?"
     A parent is supposed to have the answers, it is the  problem solver, the parent is supposed to make the hurt go is  not supposed to be the source of it.
    The world spins on an axis which we have no control over. The sun rises and sets each day keeping things on this planet in perfect running order. We trust this amazing feat of mechanical awesomeness is in good hands. So when our lives are pulled away from us like a rug being pulled from beneath out feet, we are plunged into a deeper depth of darkness, as if our parent has abandoned if our parent gave us all the wrong answers on a homework assignment!
  It now becomes our job, to work harder. we must now pull ourselves together.
It is now time to believe, hope and trust...more than ever before.
To all my friends here in J-land who have recently lost loved ones, to those who have loved ones battling a serious or life threatening illness, to those struggling in family matters, to all of those who face face despair as if it were a permanent fixture in their day.....The Parent does not have all the answers, and to believe so only allows for a faith interrupted.
My prayers of a return and restoration to a peaceful soul~~~Marc

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Guest Towel

Regarding my last entry, "License To Love", I have received a few comments and e-mails provoking me to realize that while we all have a license to love, we are often guilty of malpractice!  So...I offer up to you the other side ..........     
                                          THE GUEST TOWEL
    You have just spent four wonderful days in a very plush hotel. Everything about this hotel resonates with the ultimate in comfort. The silk sheets, the thick carpeting, the scent of fresh linen and lilac permeating the air, right down to the very plush guest towels, this hotel is PLUSH!
    It is time to start packing, you have just washed your face the creamy kiwi cucumber soap and now begin to pat your skin with the plush guest towel. "This place is heaven" you sigh to yourself. "I just wish I could take a piece of this with me". You stare at the  plush guest towel in your hands, "this will do!" and you toss it into your suitcase which is lying open on the bed. Your conscience rebels! "Hey! That's not right, thats stealing!...Now go hang that towel back up on the rack!".... You pause, you want that guest towel, you feel it belongs to you. You counter your conscience "Hey, with what I am paying for each day here....they should give me a towel!....Besides..In a place this big, who will ever notice one little guest towel is missing?"  You have just steamrolled your sense of morals with your own handpicked zip up the suitcase, and this matter  is closed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------          Our hearts are like that plush hotel. They offer the greatest comfort known to man....Love. How foolish we are, to come into this Hotel and take what we feel belongs to us and then excuse ourselves with our own sense of logic!
  How unfortunate for the Hotel owner, who is faced with replacing those guest towels over and over again and leaving himself to wonder.."have I charged too high a price for someone to come here?"
Looking for that soft and fluffy pillow..........Marc :)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

License To Love

          Imagine you are in need of a heart operation! In walks the surgeon, it's Harrison Ford! You gasp, "Harrison Ford?    You're not a heart surgeon.   What are you doing here?"..Smiling with his charming grin,    "Oh, but I did play a Dr. in the movie,  The Fugitive,  I think I will do just fine!"
          Your roof has a leak, you call a roofer and Tim Allen shows up (Home Improvement)....While you are delighted to meet him...he's not the one you'll hire to fix your roof!
.......License!.....Yes, when it comes to matters that affects our health and the roof over our heads...we want to see a license. It shows us that we are in the hands of an "authority"....someone that really knows how to do the job right!
   What about Love?  We meet strangers, and as they pass our sets of criteria we allow ourselves to open our hearts to them. No license necessary, "here, you have won me over with the right look, the right words and the right touch, here's my heart!      It almost sounds too foolish to be true!
     Upon closer scrutiny I realized, that when our hearts want something so much, when the needs of the heart  is so strong, it will overlook the details that line the path to the object of its' this case, Love!  The place, the time, the circumstance are of little importance, just the fact that we  reached that highpoint of all we think about. In other words, the license to love and be loved by someone, is overlooked....we don't need credentials!
     I asked "why not?"....We want our Heart Dr. to have credentials, we want our roofer and plumber to have them...why not a stranger we allow in our heart?
      I thought of myself, who walks with an open heart and allows entrance to whoever holds a ticket of kindness. Then it occurred to me, there is a license to love. We all have one,it was given to us by our Creator (God if you wish)..Our hearts have been preset to respond to kindness and caring. They have been treated with a sensitivity towards truth, trust and sincerity. As long as we sense these long proven elements, a license to love hangs proudly in our hearts! The other  details..are small. looks like all you lovely J-Landers are Drs!

Thursday, March 9, 2006

Mistress Of Betrayal

       The year was 1992. Everyone was sporting a pager (beeper) on their wasitline or  had one attached to their pocketbook. I had resisted this accouterment which let one know that they had to stop whatever it was they were doing and head for a phone. Finally, I could no longer hold onto a simpler world, and I purchased one. I had barely remembered my new number and which button to press, when my wife presented me with her wish for her upcoming birthday, a cell phone!
     Back then, cell phones were reserved for professionals on the move. Most of the models were the size of bricks and the monthly plans were like second mortgages. She told me that Motorola had come out with a new smaller version..a "flip phone". It still did not convince me why a stay at home mom who had a pager, now needed a cell phone. My resistance to her wishes were met with a similar response that a child makes when being told he cannot have a toy he asked for. In my retreat, a wave of suspicion came creeping in! "Why is she so insistant on having a device that will allow her to make calls on the go?". The "Columbo" part of my brain began working overtime. It held any insignificant data it could find and incriminatd her in the court of my mind. "She must be flirting with someone!" I concluded. Yes, I did not forget the smiles and winks she flashed at other coaches when we were at the little league games. Suspicion had now formed a lynching party.
       Her birthday approached, and I caved in, taking her to Cicuit City to purchase this cell phone. Back then, there was only one choice, there were no sleek Nokias, Ericsons, or Color screen Samsungs....just one Motorola model and just one plan.  Eighty bucks a month for 30 minutes of talk time! If you spoke for 10 seconds, that was your minute. Once you went over 30 minutes, you were charged.  Her happiness at holding the phone at the store was something unequalled. Again alarms went off in my mind. I half grinned at the salesman, and agreed it was a  sale. She kissed me on the cheek and then wandered off to muse at the other electronics as I woefully signed a 3 year contract. I smiled at the saleperson, "shouldn't we have a man of the cloth here, this is not a contract, it's more like a vow!"
      The salesman chuckled and then began to make another pitch, "would you like to purchase insurance for this phone?"  I gave him a cold "No". "Would you like roadside assistance plan?". "No"...."Would you like an extra minute plan?"..No"...."Would you like a payment protection plan in case you get sick and can't pay for the phone?"...."No"..."would you like detailed billing?"..... My tongue went deep into my cheek..."detailed billing?, please explain" I said.  "O.k., detailed billing will give you a list of all the outgoing phone calls that have been made on this phone. The list will be a part of your monthly statement and costs just 5 bucks a month".   My mouth fell open, a silent "halleluhah" rolled off my lips. My suspicions as to why she has to have this device  could be confirmed!  "Put it on, I'll take it, yes...I think that is a wonderful option to have!"
I signed the contract, folded it in my pocket and took the shopping bag over to my wife who was admiring the TVs...."here you are" I said with with the widest of grins.."Happy Birthday". We both exited the store with big wide  grins.
      A month had passed and the day came when the first statement arrived. I made no mention of it and put the bill  away for a private review. Night decended and she soon fell asleep. I went into another room to open this document which would, as I presumed, confirm my suspicions. My eyes ran down the lines, my brain assimilating the numbers called .....I quickly noticed a pattern of the same numbers. I mutterred the number repeatedly under my stuttering breath. Yes, now I recall! That was the number of my friend!  Blood raced through my head.."I can't believe it, I can't believe it!" my mind reeled. The "Columbo" part of my brain was summoned...."let's see...all of these calls ...lasted, this is obviously his pager number"...."and...lets see what happens after he is paged....well now, look at that, an incoming call being returned within minutes of being oh my, he is faithful as a puppy!"
My mind was now  cooked in boiling blood! "I can't believe my plan worked so stupid could she be!!"  .... "Now, where do I go from here?". Images of the two of them chatting on the phone, schemeing on  a place to meet played in my mind like a lage cinema movie!...I tried hard to calm myself, but to no avail. I tried reaching deep into my intellect, begging for it to gain control of my raging heart. "I must  think responsibly,  remember, there are kids involved...mine and his. And...I must be absoutely certain this is who I think it is" I told myself.
    It was late, I could not sleep, part of me wanted to go into the bedroom and throw ice water on her! I paced the living room floor, even the family dog became nervous.  I knew I needed to have some small piece of resolution before I could close my eyes. Then I recalled, a sheet that was being passed around the office...beeper codes. Callers would punch in certain numbers that would mean a message, for example,   "43" on a beeper meant "I love you"... I pulled the paper out of my briefcase....yes, there it was ..."143"  which meant "F*ck You"..... I picked up the phone and proceeded to dial the number that was on the bill..."heheh" I chuckled.."when he wakes up in the morning, he will see he has gained one new enemy this day!" At the promt, I hit the keys, it felt so therapeutic. I quietly crawled into bed, I marched in a parade of defeat and jubliation to sleep.
       Morning came, I showered and dressed,  made the boys breakfeast and packed their lunches, I was cold and indifferent, acting like  a vegetarian in a butcher shop. My mind too occupied, scheming  its next plan to catch these culprits. I poured my coffee to go, and went back to the bedroom to get my wallet, keys and pager. "Gee" she said to me, "you haven't said a word this morning, are you o.k.?"....I didn't answer, just slipped my wallet in my back pocket, my keys in my pocket and  slipped my pager on my belt...which had a message waiting for me...143!
    The "somewhat familar" number own pager #!
When the mind entertains suspicion and doubt, it will often find that mind becomes the mistress of betrayal!
Sleeping with both eyes closed.....Marc :)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

In The Harbor of the Heart


    There are many minutes that fill a lifetime, while each one is equal in measurement, we each have minutes that carry the weight of an eternity!

   It was a February many years ago. I was in college and had just returned to school from "winter break". A new semester, and a new set of classes to attend. "Spanish History 101, how did I get this class?" I mused. Reluctlantly, I headed down the hallways and consoled myself with the fact that this would be a class to catch a nap in.I entered the room found a seat and scanned the room for any familar faces. It was a class of complete strangers. I looked up at the chalkboard, where the professors name was written, and the words "Spanish History 101" and beneath that "Spanish History 102".  "They must be  kidding" I laughed to myself..."101 will certainly be enough!"

    In that very instant, my world moved.....a young lady had walked into the classroom, I had not seen her before, every cell in my body jumped, she saw the empty seat next to me,and sat down. Our eyes made contact for a second, it seemed like an eternity. I did not need an explanation nor did I need to consult a handbook for what I was feeling. Suddenly, "Spanish History 101" was going to be my favorite class!  I made a polite attempt at starting a conversation, but she seemed in no mood.  An hour passed, and the bell rang signaling the end of class. The professor chimed his last words as the students were rising out of their seats, "this class meets on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays....see you on Wednesday". For me, it was music to my ears! I spoke beneath my breath, "I wish it was Monday through Friday"..."are you nuts?" she said...."you want this class 5 days a week?".....She heard me!  ...Quickly my tongue went into my cheek..."why yes, I loved taking Spanish in high School, and one day, I plan on visiting Spain....this class should be a breeze for, if you ever need help, feel free to ask me". I can't remeber what she said, I was melting too fast in her eyes...she knew I was staring at her. "I'm sorry" I said apologetically, "forgive me for staring, I believe I have seen you before." Her face had  that "disbelieving look" on it. "No really, I know I have seen your face  before....yes! I saw your face on a wanted poster at the Post office!"  "Oh really" she said with sarcasm, "do I look likea bank robber to you?"  "Noo...but I do believe it said on the poster that you were on the Wanted List for stealing  so many hearts!".  She was not impressed with my line of flattery and coldly said "godbye, see you Wednesday".

Fate moves not only in mysterious ways, but in marvelous ones!

   It was the start of a relationship that sounded all the alarms in the hall of romance. Every cell was woken to a new and wonderous world. My ears began hearing every word of every love song. My eyes learned the striking similarity of  a moonbeam and the softness of her hair. My tastebuds learned the uncomaparble sweetness of her skin. My heart was no longer just mine. 

...and now many Februarys later, while I can no longer remember what her lips were like on mine, my heart recalls that one minute, the minute that fate was twisted and the doors to a paradise were opened.

   The mind sets sail to many moments ...and they are lost in a sea of time passed, but the heart, the heart is a harbor for the treasures left behind.

.......Marc :)



Monday, February 20, 2006


 Upon returning from a trip to the supermarket, I spied a penny lying on the ground. Despite my hands being occupied, I managed to retrieve the coin from the ground and smiled as I put it in my pocket, recalling  many years ago the lesson and the origon of where this penny came from.




    “Alright” I said to my five year old son, “for being such a big help to Dad, you may select one candy from the display (although for his remarkable patience he deserved more!). As he faced the cascade of boxes of candy on display, I began to load the groceries on the conveyer belt. As I reached into my pocket and withdrew some bills, a few pennies fell to the floor. Two pennies, too embarrassing for a grown man to be scrambling around for! As I pulled my eyes away from the still dancing pennies, I noticed one of my bills had slipped out of my hands and also had fallen to the floor. As I bent down to retrieve the dollar, I scooped up the two pennies that I was willing to just leave behind for someone with a little less pride to pick up.


    “Twenty dollars, ninety seven cents” smiled the cashier. I handed her twenty one dollars, and she handed me the three pennies back. As I was tossing the change into my pocket, I could hear the clanging of money on the floor. I had missed my pocket, and the three pennies went rolling across the floor! Quick as a flash, my five year old son was on top of them. “Here Daddy, you dropped your money!” he said with a big satisfied grin.

    It was then I recognized the huge difference between man and boy. How my pride intercepted my effort to pick up a few pennies from the floor. How my son, basking in his innocence, felt none the less slighter by picking up the pennies.  A strange sense ran down my spine, was my ego too large? I knew there was a reason for this observation, but was not sure what.

    Once home, I took out the three pennies that my son enthusiastically picked up from the floor and placed them in a jar. I promised myself, that I would never be too proud to stop and pick up a penny from the ground. As a reminder, I would place the coins  that I found in that jar.


    Years passed, I found pennies, nickels and dimes everywhere!

There they were, in parking lots, on sidewalks, beneath the seats at stadiums and theaters! Some were unknowingly dropped by their owner, but many were just left behind, not worth the effort of climbing over an ego to retrieve. The contents of the jar swelled. 


    Then one day, many years since those first three pennies, I read an article in a local newspaper. A family with a critically ill five year old son was holding a fundraising event at a local park. They needed money for a lifesaving operation. Without a thought, I emptied out the jar, and began to roll up the pennies, nickels and dimes. As I rolled, I recalled that moment when my son retrieved the first three pennies. I took all the rolled money and placed it a bag. 


    On the day of the fundraising event, I went to the park and stood at a long table where home baked goods were being sold to raise money. “Sir, how about a cookie for a dollar?” asked the lady behind the table. I recognized her from the newspaper article; it was the mother of the sick boy. I handed her my bag of rolled coins. “How about twenty seven dollars and thirteen cents” for one of those cookies I smiled. “Wow” she exclaimed, barely able to lift the canvas bag from  my hand. “Goodness gracious” she laughed, “pennies! Loads of them, where on earth did you get all of these?” she exclaimed. I began to tell her the story of how, one day long ago, I was a too embarrassed to pick up some pennies off the floor, but my son, who picked them with a certain pride, had taught me a lesson. She smiled and thanked me and said,” Now I know where these came from, they are pennies from heaven”.


and so I learned...if you allow your ego to grow too large, it will block your sight of the small details....and the goodness that you might be able to render to others!


Peace to all    Marc :)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Meditation

 The past two weeks have ushered in huge waves of stress. As I gasp for one fresh breath and look for one ray of light I recall...... The power of light and meditation...when the two coincide, they provide a deep insight to the soul that no medical drug can match!....enjoy..and have  a marvelous day!    
                            The  Meditation
     My friend told me of the most amazing day he had in Key West. He visted a meditition teacher who resided in a small house off the beach. The teachers house had the most spectactular  view of the beach and the infamous "Key West Sunset!" I asked my friend to allow me to join him on his next vist.
     That day came, and we arrived at the teachers house in the mid afternoon. While he greeted us warmly, I could not help but having a feeling of disappointment when noticing that all the shades in house had been drawn down.I spent my first moments debating with myself if I should ask him why he closes off his house to a breathtaking view of the ocean!
    The meditation teacher was a marvelous host, engaging us in a lively conversation and then serving us some delightful green jasmine tea.
    Every few moments, my mind would wander to the fact that I had not yet seen the spectacular view of the ocean. As I sat in a chair in the dark room I could hear the gentle rolling waves of the ocean teasing me.
   It was now past eight o clock, I knew the sun was about to reach the shoreline, I began to stir. The meditation teacher annouced it was now time to perform our meditation. "This will be impossible" I said to myself.
    He led us into a room that had nothing but mats on the floor and shades, which were rolled down, on the windows. "Get into position" he gently commanded. I squatted down, folded my legs, outstreched my hands. "Take a deep breath...and hold it" he intsructed.
Just as I filled my  lungs, like ballons for a party, I saw something straight ahead of me. A beacon of light! Directly ahead of me was a separation in the windowshade, there was a tear in it! I could see the sun taking its bow into the horizon. I could make out its magnificant reflection across the flattened ocean! Through this opening, firey hues of orange and purple came pouring in.
   There I was, filled with this one breath, and in a direct view of this ball of life immersing itself into the sea.
  Suddenly, I felt connected to something far greater than anything here on earth. I could feel my connection to the universe! And this connection was sustained by this one breath.
   In a flash of second, I realized that just as this sun lights up and nourishes this world, I too am given that very same power.As the sun transfers its light to me, I can transfer light to my world!
    I also mused  about the  beauty that lies in nature, it resonates too sharply to be random or accidental. Light and and death ...are both given great distances between them, but the line they cross from one realm to another, is so very fine, and unavoidable.
   We must make the most of who we are, inbetween those lines, and with each breath!
   I wish for you to be able to have that moment when you can see through the crack in the shade.
  Peace~~~   Marc :)

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

"That's Weird"

    I can't believe that Gem  (libragem007) would tag me, hoping for me to reveal my "weirdness".    I am quite the normal guy.....I mean I go through life, in a most normal manner....I just try to spice it a bit so it doesn't appear too normal!.....So, when was the last time I had a "weird" feeling......   ah yes!    Every Sunday afternoon there is a radio program that I MUST listen to, or Sunday does not feel like Sunday. It's a local music program called "Folk and Accoustic Sunday" (on the NPR radio station)....Its a smooth blend of old folk, current folk, Bluegrass and international folk.....  Regardless of what i might be doing on that afternoon,the music has me sit down in my mind and pull up a chair on the porch and have a tall cold glass of iced tea. The program really makes my Sunday......if I miss hearing it...yes, I feel weird.

     "Weird"....that's right.....just last week at the Christmas lunch, the secretaries were gabbing about men, and how they stare and gawk. One secretary spotted me listening in and chimed..."except for sweet Marc...when he talks to you he makes eye contact, not chest contact" The women all nodded in agreement that I was the perfect gentleman.........   I grinned.....and laughed to myself...." I can really do that??? All these years I've been staring at their chests and they say I'm looking into their eyes!...Gee..that's weird!

    If I can't think of something that is weird..I'm certain that the wife can!  She swears that "I can't Chew gum and drive at the same time" that's not true...but one time  tried chewing gum while having sex....and when we were finsihed, the gum was gone! I'm not telling where it was found, but that's the last time I'll "chew and screw".

    Oh yes, which brings me to.....when I can't find my wallet....yes, I get weird about that......Imagine, I have handled millions of dollars worth of jewels in my days, I never get nervous if one gets misplaced at the factory...but my wallet, (which usually never has more than 40 bucks in it!) if its missing for 5 minutes...I get ....GAS!  I mean turbulent gas folks.....I guess if I can't find my wallet, I'm hoping it will find me!   Oh, by the way, whenever I misplace my wallet, it takes just 5 minutes for my wife to snif, snif and yell "HEY WHAT DID YOU DO.......LOSE YOUR WALLET!"

      OK...4 weird things down...and one to go....hey, I need to make a run to the bathroom.....WAIT...which reminds me.....Women in take so much time in there.....and sometimes you go in there in pairs?  You always come out smiling or grinning.....Me? I'm happy that I came and went...and I'll never take another guy to mens room with me....I hope that doesn't make me wierd!

    OK gotta go.....I'll be tagging someone who hasn't been tagged with this when I get back!         Love and peace to you all....Not so wierd, Marc :)