To those of you wonderful j-landers who expressed a concern about my whereabouts, I thank you ..... and even if you gave just a passing thought , I thank you for having that thought as well!
I have been faced with many serious issues over the past months.....I had to give this journal ....writing, answering your wonderful comments and reading other jounals a rest.
A few months ago my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It has since spread very fast and he is now very close to passing on. I have been placed at the threshold of many emotions I never could conceive. Today he has an appointment with his Dr. and I know, the prognosis of this visit will not be good (being admitted to Hospice is at hand).
And so, with this moment and this need to reflect, I wish to share..... The Ice Cream Cone<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
One of my favorite photos in my album is that of my 4 year old son holding an ice cream cone that I had just placed in his small hand. The photo captures his purely innocent expression of gratitude and joy. Viewing this photo takes me back in time, when I was four.
The large ball balanced upon a cone and being placed in my tiny hand for my own personal consumption, was redemption! Nothing could come close to that creamy confection in making my world seem so wonderful. Not my two fondest possessions, my cartoon character underwear and my Superman T-shirt could bring me to that level of satisfaction!
More importantly, it was where the ice cream was coming from, my Dad. In that small instant of my life, he was the ultimate Hero! Without him speaking, I could hear his pleasure in handing me the ice cream cone. I may have been too young to understand, but not too young to feel it as a moment of shared joy. As the sweetness seemed to melt within me, I was transformed from a world of lectures and warnings. I was removed from a platform of expectations. The ice cream cone in my hand was like a magic wand that just let me be me.
The years passed, and the distance between my Father and I widened. The expectations we had of each other missed the mark. Our geographies changed, restricting when and how often we could meet. The business of life mutually disabled us to manifest a father/son relationship.
A lifetime of years has passed since then, and while there is long list of wonderful memories we did share, the ones that standout is when he came to my rescue. Transporting me from an ordinary day, by taking a moment and making it special. If there was ever a time when he seemed so tall, so knowledgeable, generous and understanding, it was the time he handed me that ice cream cone.
I stare at that photo of my son about to take his first lick, and he, not knowing that mound of ice cream would be frozen in time with all the love, joy and peace that was in the handing of it to that small hand!
Wishing Peace to all......make a moment for someone, it is the only thing that is guarenteed to last an eternity!