Monday, July 3, 2006

The Ice Cream Cone

To those of you wonderful j-landers who expressed a concern about my whereabouts, I thank you ..... and even if you gave just a passing thought , I thank you for having that thought as well! 

I have been faced with many serious issues over the past months.....I had to give this journal ....writing, answering your wonderful comments and reading other jounals a rest.

A few months ago my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It has since spread very fast and he is now very close to passing on. I have been placed at the threshold of many emotions I never could conceive. Today he has an appointment with his Dr.  and I know, the prognosis of this visit will not be good (being admitted to Hospice is at hand).

And so, with this moment and this need  to reflect, I wish to share.....                               The Ice Cream Cone<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

    One of my favorite photos in my album is that of my 4 year old son holding an ice cream cone that I had just placed in his small hand. The photo captures his purely innocent expression of gratitude and joy. Viewing this photo takes me back in time, when I was four.

 

   The large ball balanced upon a cone and being placed in my tiny hand for my own personal consumption, was redemption! Nothing could come close to that creamy confection in making my world seem so wonderful. Not my two fondest possessions, my cartoon character underwear and my Superman T-shirt could bring me to that level of satisfaction!

 

   More importantly, it was where the ice cream was coming from, my Dad. In that small instant of my life, he was the ultimate Hero! Without him speaking, I could hear his pleasure in handing me the ice cream cone. I may have been too young to understand, but not too young to feel it as a moment of shared joy. As the sweetness seemed to melt within me, I was transformed from a world of lectures and warnings. I was removed from a platform of expectations. The ice cream cone in my hand was like a magic wand that just let me be me. 

 

   The years passed, and the distance between my Father and I widened. The expectations we had of each other missed the mark. Our geographies changed, restricting when and how often we could meet. The business of life  mutually disabled us to manifest a father/son relationship.

 

    A lifetime of years has passed since then, and while there is long list of wonderful memories we did share, the ones that standout is when he came to my rescue. Transporting me from an ordinary day, by taking a moment and making it special. If there was ever a time when he seemed so tall, so knowledgeable, generous and understanding, it was the time he handed me that ice cream cone.

 

    I stare at that photo of my son about to take his first lick, and he, not knowing that mound of ice cream would be frozen in time with all the love, joy and peace that was in the handing of it to that small hand!

 

Wishing Peace to all......make a moment for someone, it is the only thing that is guarenteed to last an eternity!

Marc :)

12 comments:

jouell3935 said...

A beautiful reflection Marc.
My heart goes to you on so many levels...I so have a sense of your pain, I do. I understand this cusp, having lived through with my father.
I wish the words I send would be full of some comfort to you and yours ...Reflection is a good process and I thank you for sharing...

Peace with you and yours,
Jodi

lifes2odd said...

What a beautiful entry Marc. Thank you for sharing that story with us. I'm glad to see you back around the old J-Land neighborhood! You know that my thoughts and prayers are with you through this difficult time in your life.
Hugs, Martha

nhd106 said...

yes marc...quite a beautiful entry.  I love how you took something so sad and found beauty to hold onto.   That is a wonderful quality you have....
Thinking of you...
Nancy

inafrnz247 said...

I'm sorry for the issues you are facing right now... your thoughts are expressed so wonderfully in your words... use this as an outlet for some of those inconcievable emotions you are feeling.  You paint a beautiful picture of the love you have for your son.  Thank you for sharing that beauty.  ::hugs::  Michelle

philadlfiagrl said...

Marc,

I'm so sorry about your dad!  I loved ur entry...about the ice cream...its amazing how much warmth a kid can get from a parent handing them something frozen, lol
i remember my own dad that way, in fact, buying ice cream for all my friends too how proud i was and happy to have that treat!
yep, thus the saying: its the little things that count!

god bless u and ur family

lizzzzzzzza

http://journals.aol.com/philadlfiagrl/lizaslife

robinngabster said...

Oh Marc I am so sorry.  I've been wondering where you have been...you were in my thoughts then and are in my thoughts now.  Will be praying for your Father.

Robin

eml625 said...

I am truly sorry to hear about your dad. I know what you are going thru. The feelings, being scared. It's your dad - no one on this earth like him.
God Bless him and your family through this difficult time.
hugs
Ellen

sdoscher458 said...

I'm so sorry about about your Dad.  You are right though about the special moments in our lives...sometimes I wish we could just freeze the moment with a living photograph that we could step back into whenever we wished.  Sandi

onemoretina said...

Marc .... I can understand your need to put your journal aside for a while, and concentrate on the things you have going on in your life.  I'm sorry that your Dad is ill.  I can imagine how difficult this is for you to watch.  I'm glad that you have these special memories to think of, when the going gets rough.  These are the things that will get you through the days ahead.   I will keep your Dad in my prayers.  Take care, Tina

mariebm56 said...

I love this entry Marc!!  It is so touching & a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man.
Getting to know you through this journal, I can only say that he raised a brilliant, wise & caring son....and just that alone tells me that your father is wonderful.
I love how you express yourself through your sweet memories.
I will continue to keep you & your family in my prayers.......
{{{Marc}}}

Marie

tschamberland said...

My heart is with you during this sad time.  I remember all too well the emotional ups and downs; the seemingly endless reminiscing of years gone by, when the mortality of someone we love comes to teeter on a precipice.   Hang onto all that has been and don't reject these less than desirable moments near the end.  Our first reaction is to try to bury, ignore or deny the moments in the end because of the loss and pain they hold.  Even now, 12 years after my father passed away, I can still vividly remember his end, the talks we had, and I cherish those memories as tenderly as I do the happiest of times.  It was all him, it was us, good and bad, happy and sad.  

Take care of yourself however you need to do that.  We'll be here when you wish to return.  

All my prayers and warmest thoughts
Tammy
http://lifeliveitormissout.blogspot.com

ally123130585918 said...

Marc what a lovely sensitive entry ~ showing how the smallest memories can last a lifetime ~ I am so sorry to hear about your Dad but whatever may happens he will always be in your heart ~ but miracles do still happen I pray for one for him ~ Ally