Friday, December 30, 2005

Marriage Therapy and Tanning Salon

    Floridas reputation for being "the retirement State" is quickly being replaced by being known as "the shopping State".  Shopping Centers, Malls, Designer Outlet Stores, all sprouting up overnight like weeds!  Within 2 minutes of traveling North, South, East or West of me, I will find at least one Starbucks.....meaning, in less than 10 mins I can hit 4 Starbucks! No one can accuse us Floridians of not having enough caffiene handy!

    This morning while driving into work I was passing by  another new strip shopping center and I could see that the first sign was in place announcing a new store coming soon! "What else could we possibly need in this neighborhood?"  I asked myself. I took a fast glance to soothe my curious nature. "WHAT?"  I said to myself in disbelief. I slowed the car and looked again. "NO WAY, Can't Be!..I never heard of such a place!" The big white sign with red lettering read "MARRIAGE THERAPY and TANNING SALON".....From that moment on, my day was flipped into overdrive with puzzlement!

     The voice in the back of my mind woke up.... "who in the world would open such a place?"  I lowered the radio station (which happens to be Dr. Joy Brown, who is a marvelous psychologist that hosts a great radio program) in order to think. I immediately began to imagine situations.....My wife and I sitting in that office....."Well Dr. we are having problems in our marriage, she goes to bed in Flannel, and I'm dreaming of her in some satin".    "Hold it right there" I imagine the Dr.  saying...."No wonder the two of you have trouble with your sex life, you are both white as ghosts! I am prescribing 3 tanning sessions immediately...once you have your tans on, you can come back and talk!".

     The entire day my mind entertained me with the business variables of this bizzare storefront combination. I could see a woman coming home from a  MarriageTherapy session...her hubby asking.."how did your session go tonight?"......"well, I'm not sure if I made much progress with my anxieties of you cheating on me, but look at my Boobies now....No tan lines!"..........and my mind wandered.....does the psychologist use a tanning bed instead of couch?...... I could see the ads for this place...."Give your Marriage a check up and get a tan on  us!".......   

    I promised myself that on the way home, I would stop in at this new strip center and get a close up of this storefront that was under construction. 

    The day came to its close, I had scripted enough "situations" to write five seasons of a sit-com! I could not wait to re-visit this place which had captivated my imagination for the entire day.

   As I neared the intersection oif this new shopping center, I began grinning, replaying my day of thoughts. It was dark and no lights were up yet. I pulled up to the storefront and looked up at the sign......A 120 mph wind raced through my ears screaming "idiot!".......The sign read  "Massage Therapy and Tanning Salon"......... "oh" I said to myself..."I guess that does make sense".

   I scratched my head, and went back into my car......"too bad..I had all these great ideas and what will I do with them?".....the voice in my head chuckled..."put them in your journal...what else would you do with them"!

  Next time, before I read any more signs, I'm stopping at a Starbucks!

Make it a double expresso!     Marc :)


sdoscher458 said...

Marc put the cup down and back've had way too much caffine...LOL, you sound like a man desperate for "satin" does your wife have a journal? I'd drop her a hint if you like....Sandi

bedazzzled1 said...

LMFAO...ya goofball! Hey, it could have been worse...something like a Bait & Bagel store.

Happy New Year and may it be full of lace and satin, other good stuff. ::smile::

ally123130585918 said...

Marc - this is so funny - glad your imagination ran riot,  "once you have your tans on, you can come back and talk!" loved it all.....Ally

mariebm56 said...

This was too funny!!
I thought you were going to say they were 2 different businesses.

Maybe your looking for marriage therapy????
ya know, after reading this one & the Bloomies entry, I suggest you burn the flannel & buy a satin nightie~

firestormkids04 said...

Let's co-write that series and offer it to NBC or something.  They could surely run with it!  Too funny for words.  I'll write the L.A. segment, lol.  Blessings, Penny

philadlfiagrl said...

omg marc, that issooooooooooooo funny!! i do that myself, and tell myself, omg i must put this in liza's....!!!

massage therapy, lol

marriage therapy LOL!!! i think a tan could help some marriages, dont u???

lol, obviously, or the thought wouldnt have entered ur brain

or was it a freudian slip of the eyes, lol


randlprysock said...

Yes, I agree... Florida, it's becoming the shopping state!  Lol about the tanning!  Hmmm, we should be having a great time of it here then in this state... but I think it's really the work til you drop state.  Geesh, who has time for it anymore?  All we do since we moved here is work.  But we do have a nice life so can't really complain.  Okay then, well, Happy New Year and I'm off to work on my tan.  : )

alphamoon65 said...

At least you could have a healthy glow before the  If you did get divorced, would have you have to split the tanning pakage?  lol  Happy Happy New Year !!!!

libragem007 said...

LOL!! should send your script ideas to producers! It's funny! I mean I can already imagine/pricture just by reading your entries....what more if I can actually see  'em in actions? It'll be hilarious! go on..not too late to become famous for real life funny scripts~
Gem :-D

libragem007 said...

Dear Marc,
Guess what? You've been tagged!

Journally Yours,
Gem :-D

sierrajazz said...

We don't have any regular Starbucks near us... but just recently a new Target was built and they have a tiny Starbucks inside..but since I don't drink coffee or tea with caffeine, so I have never tried anything there.

I have a better idea.. how about a marriage and massage therapy place and just get rid of the tanning place?? You could get a massage while getting marriage counseling and the couples would be relaxed and more open to making needed changes to improve their marriage.  

fitzzer said...

LOL - yeah and right next to the marriage therapy, tanning salon and pawn shop, you'll probably find a new strip club or porn shop too! Never a dull moment here lol

dyannaofyore said...


tschamberland said...

Hahahaha!  Now that is something I would do!  Made for a good entry though, didn't it?.


gdireneoe said...

Starbucks?  Really...  Make mine a venti quad nonfat hazelnut latte...extra hot. ;)  C.