Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Breathless In Bloomies

  Thank the good Lord for the Bloomingdales Annual After Christmas Lingerie Sale! This is the one time of the year I  get an excuse to enter that wonderful dept! It's the only time the "wife" is motivated to go and allows me to become a witness to passion that most women have...dressing up for their man!
    On this particular occaison, we entered the dept and she made a straight
path to the racks that I have dubbed, "The Taliban Section". Garments so heavy they should be sold as a beach blanket. I casually drifted over to where the more provacative racks were!

  It was then I saw her.....a young, gorgeous blond going through a rack of the
finest, sheerest lingerie that one could possibly imagine! I positioned myself
to be able to observe, without being overly conspicuos. She lifted off the rack
a garment that was completely lace! She held it up in front of her face....I
could see her smile right through the garment! "oh my" I thought to
myself.."imagine coming home to her...dressed in that!
  She placed the garment over her feminely formed arm.....I mused at her
complete gracefullness.
    She continued to fan through the garments on the rack..she lifted up another one....just a tangled bunch of strings on a hanger. She pulled them apart...it looked like floss to me..smiling she draped them on her arm with the other garment. "What is she planning? She will kill that poor man!"
    At that moment I could recognize the music playing over the stores sound
system. Enrique Iglesias, "Hero".....his voice filled in the backround, "if I could be your hero baby"....Oh my, my heart began to race.
  Then she exumed a third article..a pink satin see through teddy! I imagined
her wearing it and appearing before me..."if I could be your hero baby..I would stand by you forever"My knees weakened. Satisfied with her find..she glided over to the cashier. Now, in my younger days...I would have intercepted adamsel such as that..I would have placed my hand on the garments and said "excuse me, but you must allow me to buy these for you!"
....Just then a hard tap on my shoulder shook me...flannel and burlap was in my face. "Here, hold these" my wife commanded. I felt like I was holding a bag of textbooks. From the corner of my eyes I could see the angelic blond clasping her Bloomie Bag and begine her exit from the dept. "Well?" queried my wife, "you gonna stand there with far off look or are you going to pay for these?" I smiled, realizing the need to quickly return to reality. "Certainly, did you find everything you were looking for?" I asked.....smiling back she stated, "why yes, and everything was on sale!"

  "On sale!" I exclaimed, infusing a more joyful tone..... "why I can't imagine what else could possibly take my breath away!"

May all your "Day After Christmas sales" take your breaths away too!

Marc :)

32 comments:

delela1 said...

My, my, my Marc!  Aren't you a sly one, saving all your naughtiness for after Christmas.  ;)  I read this, imagining you standing there amid all those racks, eyes filled with wistful dreams.  The only shopping Sam and I did was to satisfy our craving for pumpkin pie with whipped cream.   Hmmm, whipped cream, now that gives me an idea...  Dona

ally123130585918 said...

Marc  ROFL......I really enjoyed that....Love the Taliban section....Can just imagine Red flannel and calico...compared to Lace and Froth...Dream on....sometimes dreams really do come true.....Ally

libragem007 said...

"I would have placed my hand on the garments and said "excuse me, but you must allow me to buy these for you!"
....Just then a hard tap on my shoulder shook me...flannel and burlap was in my face. "Here, hold these" my wife commanded.."


LOL!! LOL!! Marc...I imagined how you look standing there......I bet she wouldn't have refuse your offer for that wonderful, thoughful  "hey~here's my wallet--with that lingere_I can't refuse you--take me home tonight!" pick up line.....you were close in your dreams....lol! had it not been for your wife's "gentle" tap on your shoulder lol! oh reality--what can I say?--it really is funny!
LOL!!! LOL!!!
Gem :-D

lurkynat said...

lol very cute
natalie

mzgoochi said...

I won't insult you with my first thought, but here's an idea. why not buy some of those sexy items for YOUR wife? :)

Lahoma

txsguinan said...

'Taliban Section' ~ brilliant!  ;D  

Sorry about the wife's clearance rack burka, but speaking as one (a wife, I mean) ~ if you want to see a smile through sheer silks and satins, it wouldn't hurt to wrap a little something up; it was just Christmas, after all.  And what better way to ring in the New Year...

Fun post!   :)

ckays1967 said...

oh Marc....


I am just sure she was buying those for her lover, her female lover.  They pretty ones are always not interested in hairy men.

LOL

ckays1967 said...

but you should get an award fot this entry!!!

randlprysock said...

Marc,
Women read the minds of their husbands.  This is terribly sad indeed.    
Lisa

http://journals.aol.com/randlprysock/AdventuresFromFlorida/  

sdoscher458 said...

Marc I'll let you in on a secret...my hubby buys stuff like that for me. Ocassionally I will pick up some fluffy sheer 'Oh my dear" things too...it's fun to put a little spice into the relationship...even at my age.....try it you may find out that she likes it....Sandi

coelha said...

Uh...  You let your wife buy flannel after that episode?  Shame on you...  I agree with the earlier comment.  The gorgeous blonde sounds like she dressing up for the girlfriend.  Julie :)  Happy new year!

lowatel said...

Marc:
It takes a mature person to be at ease and humorous about your incident at Bloomingdales. Thanks for the fun and the honesty. It is good to be real and to laugh at one's own limitations, fantasies, etc. I'm sure you love your wife very much and that you really wouldn't have gone away with the gorgeous blond.. Right?

Merry Chrsitmas!
Carlos

zosche973 said...

OH! So, you saw me there, huh? LOL ~Diane~
http://journals.aol.com/dizarra/StorysFromtheCityTalesFromtheSea

mkolasa101 said...

Hey there big guy the truth is out about you.  I got an e-mail directing me to your journal.  I read your entry, word for word, imagining everything your were describing through your eyes and what a wonderful read this was.  Me believes you were standing there "naked as a jay-bird" if you get my drift exposing your passionate side to anyone and everyone who is going to read this post.  I really love your writing style and at this particular time in my life I too perfer the flannel and more comfy PJ's to sheer madness, but then again I was the mother of three sons, now all grown, so baby dolls were out.  However, if my husband expressed himself like you have I would very much appreciate him presenting me with a glimps of his his wild side too.

Marlene-PurelyPoetry
http://journals.aol.com/mkolasa101/PurelyPoetry

firestormkids04 said...

Oh, what a wonderful glimpse!!!  I remember the days . . .oh well . . .best not to talk about it now . . .it would be like putting a see-thru postage stamp on a beach ball.  I haven't lost my passion, though.  He thinks I'm sexy in sweats.  Go on!  I know he sees the old skinny me in lace . . .he's got a great imagination.  That's how love is, you know.  Thanks for the look at your passion as well.  Blessings, Penny http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere

philadlfiagrl said...

taliban section

omg!! thats greaaaaat

lol

lizzzzzzzzzzzza

debbted said...

Marc~LibraGem directed me here & I'm glad she did cuz I am LMHO!!!! Too funny; if that's a true story I can't believe you got away with it! ;-))) New Years Blessings, Sassy :-)

http://journals.aol.com/debbted/SassysSecondWord

fitzzer said...

Marc - Another priceless entry from you! lol
I can just picture you standing there in dreamland and your wife flinging the flannel at you! hehehe ~ Lori

mutualaide said...

I'd like to take a walk down memory lane to all the lace and see-through!  LOL.  So now we really know what men think....about....

mymaracas said...

Oh this is good! Taliban Section ... tooo funny.

Libragem sent me, and I'm bookmarking your blog. Great stuff!

alphamoon65 said...

My hubby must have been doing the same thing when I ran in to him at Victoria's Secret at the mall.  We both laughed and I was curious of what he would pick out...I got a nice chunk of a gift card, with a note...think New Years eve hotel baby!  So woo hoo for me.  Great entry!
Dwana

jtuwliens said...

Another breathless beauty radiating from your corner of j-land!  Yup, you definitely hit a home run with this entry!  Such a way with words you have.
Judith  :)

tschamberland said...

Oh my!  Men actually have these daydreams, huh?  Happy you embraced the moment and that your wife (at that moment) was none the wiser :)
Tammy
http://LifeLiveItOrMissOut.blogspot.com

chaispice1023 said...

omigolly...no more flannel for me.  this one has opened my eyes. LOL

great entry, marc.  nice to meet you.

hestiahomeschool said...

Oh, this was a hoot!

sierrajazz said...

Isn't the imagination and fantasy a wonderful thing?... but ahhh always back to reality eventually!! This was so very enjoyable!!

jouell3935 said...

I love coming here! Always new and different, and whatever the Topic I leave with a comfort and a smile! THanks Marc!
Happy New Year!

Peace
Jodi

globetrotter2u said...

Marc,

You are such a gem! What a poignant mixture of your signature brand of humor, honesty and sensitivity this entry was!

I am currently reading a book called "Say When". It is written from a male's point of view and the protagonist reminds me so much of you... especially when he dyes the ballerina doll's hair blue and then his wife calls and the conversation is interrupted by her lover. He promptly goes back and tosses the doll that he had been so lovingly preparing as a gift to his errant wife in the trash and then makes sure that he covers her face with coffee grounds. The guy is priceless and so are you!

I hope your New Year is filled with the fulfillment of a couple of those delightful fantasies of yours!

Hugs,
Maryanne

gdireneoe said...

Do you know what is so appealing about you?  Your honest admiration for women.  I mean...you oggle...but in a completely appreciative way.  Oh, and I'm calling Animal Control...someone told me there's a 'cuda lose in here. ;)  C.  http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies

stansgirl2004 said...

OMG that was awesome i LOVED IT
HUGS, Marina

pharmolo said...

Found you through CarnivAOL, enjoyed your piece.

http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip

sdoscher458 said...

Great entry.  Plan for your next adventure into the  playworld that is Bloomingdales, be prepared.....when wifey goes her way, go into action..zero in on something that thrills your soul, buy it and give it to her as a "de-layed" Christmas gift! Tell her you bought her something naughty....Sandi http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/LifeIsFullOfSurprises