The Worlds Greatest Roller Coaster

  While sitting quietly and being entertained with a fine glass of wine, I could not help but overhear a conversation two women were having at a New years Eve gathering. "How did you make out with your New Years resoloutions from last year?" asked the first woman. "Surprizingly, I did pretty good" came the cheery reply. Continuing she went on to explain,"last year I made a resoloution to pay off my Visa credit card. I took a part time job on the weekends, and every dollar I made went to pay that debt off. In October, I made my last payment and then cut the card up!, I am so proud of myself!"   The other woman complimented her resolve and in the same breath said, "Don't tell me, but are those Jimmy Choo shoes you have on?" The second woman giggled, "I can't believe you noticed, they set me back 300 bucks but they are worth every penny! When I cut up my Visa card, I took out a mastercard with no interest for the first six months!"

 I sipped my wine, and was compelled to muse. Our two favorite pastimes, making resoloutions on New Years Eve, and Roller Coasters!  No wonder, the two have so much in common!  When making a resoloution we strap ourselves into a seat that will point us into the face of tempatation and in the same instant, take us away.As we have our withdrawals from our habits, we are not sure if our cries are from pain or joy!

Naturally, I had to recall my flashback of the resoloutions that I made a year ago, and how I fared. I remember making the resoloution that I would completely refine my diet. I embraced a whole new pantry of wholesome foods. I learned to love  shakes  that looked like seaweed ..I have consumed berries, mushrooms, and teas from lands I never knew existed. The buyer at Whole Foods Market calls me for advice! While I have imbibed all this wonderful life extending food, I still managed to gain 10 pounds in the past year!. I am not concerned, the weight gain is all antioxidants!

My other resoloution was designed to increase my overall productivity. This is hard for a man who dreams. I made the resoloution not to spend so much time thinking about the way things once were. I succeeded, by unfortunately, I found myself thinking more about the way things are. In doing so, I took an uncomfortable notice.The present is a place of highs and lows, the present is a path that runs straight, then banks left, right and left again! One moment there is calm, the next is filled with anxiety, fear , or with love and joy. When you are in the present nothing stays the same for too long!  This is why keeping resoloutions is so very difficult. The tracks of time we are fastened to have so many twists and turns,ups and deep drops dowward, its amazing that we can even stay on the path!

So as I embark this ride into the next year, I resolve to enjoy the  feel of the wind against against my face, to maintain my balance with  faith that after  each sharp twist and turn, I will still be safely seated. My heart will beat wildly with joy and fear,and my exuberance will be from knowing that both joy and fear bring me closer to a higher power.

When the ride comes to its end next year, I will be allowed to look back at the way things were and will only conclude "what a wonderful ride".

I wish each and every one you a Happy, joyous and breathtaking ride through next year. More importantly...we are ridng this together..so fasten your seatbelts....the ride begins!

Peace and many blessings to you all.....Marc :)

 

Giving Thanks

At this time of being thankfull, I would like to give thanks to all of you who have spent countless hours creating your wonderful journals! Thank you for providing me with something to think, laugh and smile about. Thank you for provoking me in ways I never expected. ....and...Thank You for coming here, and leaving your kind words and sharing your thoughts! You are a very special and dear group of people!

While I am giving thanks, I would like to thank a few people who unknowingly affected me in such profound ways as to alter my way of thinking.

I would like to thank the woman who applied her make-up at a traffic light and gave me a glimpse of how a womans true beauty is revealed. "Lovely and Amazing" (entry 12/18/05)

I would like to thank Hilda for stuffing food in her bra while on the buffet line and showed me that when a love becomes so selfish, it ruins the picnic! "Hildas Bra" (entry 9/17/06)

I would like to thank the cast of Sesame Street, who in two hours taught me the most important lesson I could learn about being a parent! "Sesame Street Live" (entry 6/18/05)

I would like to thank Pearl King, who taught me the weight of a soul is more important than the weight on the scale! "The Weight" (entry 9/3/07)

I would like to thank Carrie, a date, who taught me that laughter is the most  powerful aphrodesiac. "Lotus Eaters" (entry 7/19/05)

I would like to thank Kenny, the spoiled one, who gave me the answer to "How many Mantle cards Does A Boy Need" (entry 10/18/05)

I would like to thank that 30 something Blonde in the Bloomindales lingerie dept, who allowed my imagination to transcend time in "Breathless in Bloomies" (entry 12/27/05)

I would like to thank my son for picking up 3 pennies off the floor and allowed me to learn how the highest fence we have to climb is our own ego! "Pennies From Heaven" (entry 2/20/06)

I would like to thank the camper who in bringing me a meatball sub actually brought me the way I would live the rest of my life! ---BIG THANKS FOR THAT! "Meatball Sub" (entry 3/2/06)

There are so many more to thank, but I have to run...as you can see,  we have a photographer here that will do a family shoot.  There will be no need for me to say "cheese", I'm just going to think of all the wonderful souls that have crossed my pathhere, and I'll have the biggest smile!

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Marc :)

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Love Bites

 The other day a young co-worker arrived at the office sporting a "hicky" on his neck. "Nice tattoo" I commented as I handed him his daily task list. "It's only temporary" he replied. As I walked away, I mused,"that's what you think!" My mind quickly ran back in time when I received my first hicky.

  It was a summer long ago, I was 14. In the apartment building I lived in, there was a group of us who spent our summer days as if we were cloned . We'd all get up early, watch re-runs of "I Love Lucy, Andy Griffith Show, Leave It To Beaver and Father Knows Best" . By 12 noon we would all meet by the swimming pool and spend the next 5 hours having splash fights,holding your breath underwater contests, perfecting our cannonball dives off the board, and taking siestas inbetween the laughter and the chat. At 5 P.M. we'd all head back to our apts and have our dinners, shower up, and by 7 we'd all reassemble, squeaky clean, in the courtyard.

 The courtyard was the hangout for all the residents of the building. Our small group, needing its privacy had a small corner that was exclusive to us, we called it, the "Chit Chat Corner".

On one such evening, just as I was approaching the sacred ground, Lovely Laurie, walked up to me and with her reassuring smile said, "Marc, tilt your head a little". Her wish was always my command, I would have jumped off a building for her, so this seemed rather simple.  Without a chance to comprehend her wish, she quickly leaned over, and nibbled on my neck for a mere 3 seconds. She pulled away and her friends who were flanking her right and left shoulder immediately commented. "Nice Laurie, very Nice". Then, my freinds joined in with their observations, "wow Marc, nice looking Hicky". 

"Hicky?" I asked in puzzlement, "what is a hicky?"

They all laughed at my naivety. "You don't know what a Hicky is?" they chimed. My level of wisdom was challanged, but these were my friends, so I felt fine in pleading to my innocense. "When you suck on your skin for a few seconds, you break the blood vessels and a mark appears."  Somehow, this did not make much sense to me, so I paid no further attention to it.

We disassembled for the evening, I returned home, greeted by my older sister (she was 18 at the time, and the "rebel" amongst the 3 of us) "Wow Bro, nice Hicky you have there!" She looked examining the mark. "Who gave that to you?" .....Justthen my other older Sister appeared on the scene (16 at the time and she inherited the "Mom" side) . "Oh my, Mom is gonna be real mad when she sees that on your neck!" she admonished.I tried defending myself  explaining that Laurie was just practicing but it was met with a several disbelieving "uh hums". The commotion brought the attention of my Mom and Step Dad (my step dad was a Lee Marvin look alike and soundalike...tall with a deep husky voice) My mother came into the kitchen, "what's going on here? Did I hear something about a Hicky?" My Step dad moved right in, peered closely at my neck, pressed his finger down hard on it...and looking me in the eye, he said aloud, "Nah, it's a bug bite, go put some calamine lotion on it now!"

  I moved quickly past the crowd, into the bathroom and doused cottonballs with the pink lotion and then painted my neck. Yes, that did the trick. As I admired this "bite" on my neck,with all the attention it garnered, I began to understand its significance!

  It wasn't till a few years later till I received my next Hicky, and not only understood, but deeply appreciated its significance! My level of wisdom elevated....the next few days I wore a turtleneck sweater!

Yes, the Hicky only lasts a few days on the skin...but in the heart....it lasts much longer!

The Voice

   There is little enjoyment in being told what to do. This is where many an offspring takes a detour from that abiding path it walked with its parents. This is where many a loyal employee seeks shelter in extra coffee breaks and "sick days". This is where many a spouse begins building "the wall".  Face it, young or old, it just doesn't sit well with us when we are told that we must do something.

  It was many years ago, my first week in the Army I observed that the best way to de-humanize someone, was to tell them what they had to do, every minute of every day! It was there, I was told what to wear, when and what I could eat, when I would wake up and when I would sleep. I was told how to stand ("ATTENTION"), I was told when to relax ("AT EASE,SOLDIER"). I was told which way to face ("right face") and worse, 90% of the steps I took, I was told which foot to place on the ground ("left, right ,left"!).In just a week, I asked myself, "who am I?"

It was during those days that a voice from within emerged loud and clear. This was my inner voice. It brought me the songs that warmed my soul, it comforted me when I was wounded, it encouraged me when I needed a double dose of bravery. This voice carried all the words of my sweetheart that I left behind, it kept a count on the days that remained till my tour was up. It entertained me like Bob Hope would entertain the troops, and thus, I was still able to smile and share a laugh with others. As I boarded the bus to return home, my inner voice yelled "Yahoo, you made it, you see, you did it, just like I said you would!"

Since that day, I never argued with my inner voice.

  Two weeks ago, I received a phone call from my son who was in tears. A relationship that he thought would be "everlasting" came to a screeching halt and smashed into too many bits and pieces to put together again. "I know you are calling me with the hope that I am going to give you some special message that will make this pain go away" I said. "Yes,I can really use something to grasp onto" he said with the sound of despair in his voice.       I drew a deep breath and said "I am not the person you should be speaking to. You need to speak  with the most intelligent person that I know, a person that I trust will steer you in the right direction".   My son paused, "who is that?" he asked . "That extremeley intelligent person is your inner voice!  Sit down and listen to that voice that has taken you further than I ever imagined you going. Have a chat with that voice that knows you better than anyone on this planet!" 

I explained the answers won't pop up like a magic wand has been waved, but clarity will come with time , and healing with introspection.

We spoke yesterday, he sounds just fine and is moving on with his life, fortifying his resolve and saving his energy for the next possibility.

I just love how that inner voice works!

So, the next time you feel that need to hear someone really intelligent, someone who really knows you....just let that inner voice begin to speak! You'll love what you'll hear!

The Weight

                                     The Weight

   "Uh-Oh" were the first words I uttered today. It was my commentary after reading the numbers on the scale. "Time to start another serious diet" I contemplated. This lament is not new. It seems most of my life has been a series of starting a new diet just as the old one ended!

   My first battle began at age 11. My mother had taken me to a clothing store for a suit. The salesman ( once known as a Habidasher), measured my waist, my inseam, my shoulders, and then slipped the tape measure around my chest. He  gently placed his hand on my shoulder, smiled cordially at my my mom and said " you have a fine young growing boy here, we shall need to look in the "Husky" section. "What's a Husky? I innocently asked. my mother quipped, "it means you are growing the wrong way! Instead of growing taller you are growing sideways!". I glanced over to her, she had this look, like I had double crossed her. I felt awful. I never liked that look. It was a guilty verdict that diminished my feeling of  self-esteem.

  In those days there wasn't any no Jenny Craig, NutriSystem or Weight Watcher Programs. There were no Lean Cuisines, Healthy Choice Meals and the word "Low fat" was not a concept on packaging labels. There wasn't Diet Coke!

  The following week I found myself in the backseat of the car being driven to a clinic to be consulted with a "dietitian".  Learning experiences...I was always open to what they had to offer.

  We arrived at the assigned room. The dietitian sat at her desk and took down all types of information about me. She began explaining about calories, food choices and the importance of keeping a diary of what I ate. She handed me pages of the food groups that I could  pick from and a suggested menu for the next seven days. "Next week, you'll come back, report to the room marked on the paper and we will monitor your progress".  My world was slightly inconvienced, but anything not have my mother give me that double crossed looked again!

  The next week we arrived at the room. I opened the door to find a room filled with people sitting in chairs. The dietitian was sitting at a desk in front of the room, next to her, an assistant. "Sign your name on the sheet, have a seat and wait till I call your name" she commanded with a voice of authority.   I signed my name at the bottom of a long list and then took a seat with my parents in the back.

  The silence was broken by the loud announcement of a name by the assistant. I observed a person get up from their chair, walk to the front of the room , stepped  on a Drs. scale."One Hundred and Sevnty Four pounds, You lost two pounds" came the unpleasantly loud voice of the assistant. My heart jumped, "oh my, how embarrassing!" I began to sweat as my pulse heightened. I carefully paid attention as each name was called, trying to imagine how I was going to summon enough courage to do this. The assisant called out "PEARL KING"...I turned to my mom, her name was Pearl, not a common name, I chuckled and she smiled at me, "not me" she said. Two rows ahead of us, the chairs squealed as they were slid across the floor. A woman slowly rose. I could not believe my eyes...she had the biggest backside I had ever seen! She had a large dress on, there was no telling where her tush began or ended. As she approached the scale I began to immediately feel sorry for what she was about to experince. She stepped on the scale, the assistant quickly slid the weights to the end of the beam, making a loud "clack" sound as they hit the end. The assisant took a quick look and loudly announced "NO WEIGHT FOR PEARL KING".  Pearl stepped off the scale and sat down next to the dietitian and handed over her diary. Confused I asked my Mom for an explanation. "The scale doesn't go high enough" my mom explained.  "Without a weight, how does she know if she is gaining or losing ?" I asked. "She won't know, and she will have to try  till her weight comes down to the where the scale measures it".  this transcended my abilty to comprehend, imagine walking around and not knowing what you weigh! How awful!

  The weeks passed, and I made progress. Each subsequent week I returned with more self confidence and a better understanding of what I could and should not eat. But, poor Pearl King, each week was the same "NO WEIGHT", despite the fact that it appeared she was making some progress.

 By the third month I had made enough progress where my Mother said, "I think this will be your last weigh in, I can take over from here". So on that last trip to the clinic, we waited for my nameto be called. "PEARL KING" the assistant called out. Pearl walked up the scale and the assistant once again slammed the weights to the very end, gave a quick glance, then...paused, jiggled the weights, stared and then said aloud " TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY EIGHT POUNDS.....WE HAVE A WEIGHT FOR PEARL KING".  My mom and I let out a small "yeah". I was so happy for Pearl, she finally knew her weight!  I think I was more relieved about her, than my own progress!

On the ride home my mother told me how proud she was of me, how good I looked and that I needed to continue with my efforts. I could only think of how happy I was for Pearl King.

.....................Now, many many years later, I understand why.   We are all here in this world for a limited time. The years go streaming by and it seems like we are just "passing through". We can step on a scale and see what we weigh "physically", but there is no scale that weighs our "usefullness, and  fullfillment". That measurement has us all guessing ! Not having such a scale has us pause and ask, "am I doing what I was supposed to do? is the the way I was supposed to spend my life here?"

 One can say, that an act of kindness, a blessing rendered onto another is like consuming spiritual calories.If that is the case, then I pray that when our time comes, we all will tip the scales!

The "other" diet begins tomorrow!

Marc :)

Points Of View

    While waiting on the checkout line at Target a woman pulls up behind me with two wagons of patio furniture.She has one of those tabloids and quickly flips the pages, stops, and  with a look of concern on her face, reads an article. She reaches for her cell phone. "Hi honey!" she exclaims with a high frequency pitch, "listen, I just checked out my horoscope and it says that I need to spend more time outdoors. I need to take in the summer sun and I will become inspired to do wonderful things!"then continuing in the next breath, "listen, I'm at Target and that Patio furniture we were looking at is on sale, so I'm picking it up!" There was a moment of silence, a noticable expression of disapproval and a subdued, "OK, I'll see you later, bye."

  She noticed my stare and expression of disbelief. "Did he actually buy that explanation?" I asked with a broad grin. She smiled back, "nah, he is the same sign as me, he just told me "whatever", then explained that his friend just called and asked him to go fishing on his boat, and his horoscope said he needed to be in the sun too!" Then with a frown, "now I'm going to have to unload this out of the truck and carry it into the backyard myself!"

I turned, a message flashed in my mind like a large billboard that you see on the highway. "We all see the same the thing, we just see it with a different point of view."

The gauntlet was now thrown. My mind tangled with this message. Can it be? All our lives, we look at the same thing and see it differently? I began processing images, a box of chocolates...heavenly to some, deadly and unwanted if you are a diabetic.Marriage, sex, work, food, art, I went through them all and no matter which image I brought up, I could hear two different points of view for each! Goodness! It's a miracle that we can even get along!

My approach to this became forensic, pulling apart moment by moment to find an element that universally we can all see, and have the same point of view! My investigation left me with two such moments in our life, birth and death. A newborn infant, the sight of one has us pause and smile. Even little children, when they see a newborn infant are magnetically drawn to the preciousness and delicateness an infant posseses. Simply, there is nothing as precious and delicate. ....The other element that we all see the same way, the sight of a person that has passed away. Whether we know them or not,the sight of person has all of pause and reflect. Our reflection can be different, but the sight will have us pause and think.

"That's it?" I asked myself. Birth and death are the only images that we can see and have the same point of view", and everything inbetween is open to personal interpretation?  "It can't be!"  I said. I became overwhelmed with a wave of depression."Life is just too precious for us to march through it and not be in some sort of agreement about what we see!" When I worded it in that form, the answer became apparent! "Life", yes,seconds, minutes, hours,days, seasons, years....each so very precious! It is so precious that it does not matter if we all see it with the same point of view. It matters only if YOU see it that way!   When you see each new day as precious as newborn, it will be filled with your love and kindness. And a day with YOUR love and kindness added to it....is something that is universally seen in the same warm and wonderful light!

Wishing you all a wonderful day and a front row seat with this point of view!

 

Don't Think Twice It's Alright

The power of our intelligence easily overwhelms our intellect.Look at what man has done in the last 25 years. We have built spaceships that journey to the ends of our universe that can  send back color photos! We carry devices that allow us communicate both voice and video to others all over the world! We continously stretch the borders of what we can only imagine!

Despite all of this intelligence, the one thing we struggle with is the ability "to think twice".We just were not wired to stop, think twice before submitting to our impulses.Thus, our closets are littered with items purchased on an impulse, our waitlines expanded from that piece of cake we just had to taste and sadly, we walk with the scars on our hearts from hurtful words spoken to us without thought being placed upon them before they were hurled at us.I often wondered what our Creator was thinking when he imbued us with this "impulsive" behavior.

This morning I headed out early to the supermarket to rent a carpet cleaner. I entered the store and passed by a shopping wagon marked "Items Reduced For Clearance". My quick glance stopped me cold in my tracks, the wagon was filled with candles! While I love candles, I already have enough to light St. Patricks Cathedral for a year! I noticed a nice small pack of tea lights. They were scented, ginger & pear, subtley delightful! There were 3 packs and I quickly scooped them up! A voice rang loud in my head.."PUT THEM DOWN!...They are the last thing you need, so put them down!" I rarely argue with my mind, and I put them back in the wagon. Another voice chirpped in "ARE YOU NUTS?... You were going to buy those candles a month ago at three times the price, pick them up NOW!" I reached back in the wagon and lifted them out. This prompted the first voice "YO MARC, What did you come here for? To rent a carpet cleaner...not to buy candles because they are on sale....PUT THEM DOWN!" Back into the wagon they went. This prompted the the second voice.."just remember, they won't be here when you finally realise that you want them!"... "Enough!" I muttered...this is crazy...I did an abrupt about face and headed straight to the service counter to rent the carpet cleaner....no candles.

 The clerk greeted me and began preparing the paperwork for the rental. I happened to turn around and noticed a woman walking straight towards me with the three packs of tea light candles in her hand! My mind flashed,"oh no, she saw my little spectacle of " in and out of the wagon" and she is going to insist that I buy them" (I have a an imagination that runs wild...) She stands behind me and calls out to the clerk "can I pay for these here or do I need to stand on the cashiers line?" He smiled, "you can pay for them here, I will be ready to ring you up in a minute". The second voice summoned , "well, there they go.., no chance to get them now"... I watched the woman as she was smelling the packs....I smiled, "it's Ginger and peach scented, they are very lovely". "Oh, I don't care about the scent" she replied.."they are not for me....I  work in a nursing home that has Alzheimers patients and I thought it would be nice to burn some candles....ya never know what a little atmosphere will do for them".  My mouth fell open, my heart immediately warmed, "oh how wonderful of you!" I exclaimed.  Her facial expression poised, she explained that the Nursing home does not have funds for such things, so when she saw these so deeply discounted, it was something she could take care of herself. "Bless you!" I said as I was interrupted by the clerk telling me my rental was ready.

 As I exited the store, it became clear to me about the issue of why we were created with impulse and not  wired to "think twice". When it comes to performing acts of kindness, charity and being selfless....we need to act on impulse! We should not think twice and ask "should I?" 

May you all have those moments, where you don't think twice...cause it's alright!