APEMAN

   The common thread of success that connects Bill Gates (founder, Microsoft) Steve Jobs (Founder Apple Computer) and me, is the age at which they were hurled through the "door" of  fame and wealth. They were both in their twenties. Most of the worlds wealthiest and famous all had their destiny jump started while being "twenty something".  

    I have sometimes wondered..."what happened to me?"..."I was twenty something too...did I oversleep on the day that destiny had its door open to me?"  "At least, did I get a chance to turn the knob?"

    While unpacking a carton of momentos, the long lost answer to my question was answered in the form of two Eastern Airline Ticket stubs. (anyone here remember Eastern Airlines?). They were one way ticket stubs...from NY to Miami. My mind flew back.  

 We were newlywed...living and working in NYC.  Two young adults, trying to take on a world , make a place for ourselves. Everything seemed difficult. We worked extremely hard and the only thing we seemed to do was get on each others tense nerves.  One day, an offer came from a company based in Miami, we flew down on weekend for an interview and to scope out the town.   The warm tropical air, scented with suntan lotion, the sound of Jimmy Buffet music and soft jazz playing everywhere, the casual easy going manner of a sleepy town, Pina Coladas and iced Coronas being served everywhere..... it seemd like the perfect ticket out!  We returned back to NYC, gave notice to our bosses, landlord and packed up our tiny apt.

  All I could think about during the time we were packing up, was being able to get out of the "rat race". The warm climate, the soothing aromas of beach and warm breezes, being chilled with the sweet succulence of a frozen rum drink......one would cerainly lose their inhibitions easily!  Life was going to be easy. My wife would be relaxed. The door to pleasure would swing open, easy and often! Yes...I was giving up my business attire to become....An Apeman!  My wife, was to be my Aperess! We were to swing in this new jungle without a worry , indulging ourselves in what this balmy and enchanted town had to offer!

    Eastern Airlines brought us in....and the moment we landed, the sky burst with one of the worst rainstorms in the citys' history!  Our car (which we shipped down from NY) was waiting for us....had no A/C....after driving for 20 minutes, the steam forming on the windshield was from the 92 degree heat & 100% humidity!  During the next few days, we had to deal  with our belongings being lost....the frzziness of my wifes hair, the car overheated three times and we discovered that Miami had cockroaches (called Palmetto bugs) as big as any thumb! My wife began missing her family, we overdosed on Cuban Coffee (espresso), and no one spoke English!

   My romantic moves were soon dusted away..."Sorry honey, between  this heat and the croacking of the frogs, who can get in the mood!"  

   You can bring the aperess into the jungle, but you can't make her swing in it.

At twenty something.. I hoped to take a step back in time, an easier life....I opened the door that said "Apeman"..  Now, here I am, many years later, saying.."thank You Bill Gates and Steve Jobs for inventing the internet and the PC".....While I was trying to rendevous with the primitive spirit within, you guys were up to something more productive!   Aw..heck...who am I kidding....if I had invented the PC..you guys would be typing with a set of sticks and bones!

My Leopard skin tunic hangs nearby.........

  

   

The Babys Room

 Twenty Four years and two months......and the time came last week to bid  a fond farewell to our home. I walked down the halls of a completely vacant home and it felt so strange to be saying "goodbye".  I stopped in each room to muse upon a memory, smiling to myself, "if these walls could talk!"  My last stop was in, what I have called, the babys room. Now a baby has not been in this room for a long, long time, but this is where each of my 3 sons spent their first years, as they were born into this house. In this room, were some very tender moments, and  this is where I embraced one lifes most powerful lessons....as I close the door..allow me to share............    The Babys Room........

    Being the father of 3 boys, I can still recall their infant cries in the middle of night. Half awake, I would stumble down the hall and retrieve them from their crib.

    By the time my third son came along, I had the 3 A.M. drill down to a routine. Then, on one such night, I awoke, but there was no cry coming from his room. "Any moment now" I murmered to myself. Minutes passed, still no cry. "Is he alright?" I asked myself....as anxiety began to pour in. I waited a few minutes more, til my nervous imagination got the better part of me, and I moved quickly down the hall to his room.

    With my heartbeat racing, I aproached the crib, leaned over and observed.  I gently lifted him up and held his tiny face to my mouth..there they were..the tinest but sweetest breaths one could possibly imagine! As I held my precious son to my chest, I could not help but wonder about our Creator. Why doesn't he come to our cries in the middle of the night? What could possibly be preventing him from wanting to pick us up and hold us close? How could he resist such a pleasure in comforting us?

    I cannot speak for our Creator, but on that night I did realize that he has selected a wonderful nursemaid to attend to us. This nursemaid is is at our sides at all times, and never fails to pick us up during our darkest moments. The nursemaid that our Creator has selected is called HOPE.

   As my boys grew, I observed them carefully. Whether catching butterflies, baseballs or a fish. Whether they were blowing out candles on a birthday cake,loving their pets, or studying for a test, I have seen their nursemaid,HOPE, standing in their shadows, bringing their dreams a little closer to them!

    Now I know, when I step outside at night, and gaze into the night sky, musing upon the stars and moon, their beauty and precision.....that little spark of eternal energy that runs through my nerves, is merely a confirmation that my nuresemaid, HOPE is standing nearby!

  Peace and Blessings.....Marc :)

 

Why not ask for MORE!

    A few years ago, the receptionist brought a magazine to work called "MORE". It was the premier issue. The magazine is geared to women in their forties. Most of the modeling in the magazine is done by women in their "mature" stage of life. The articles also are concerned with issues that women in their forties and beyond are challanged with.

   I was fanning the pages when one ad caught my eye (and heart!) A sensational looking, darling woman in a fly fishing outfit! I must confess that her stunning panoramic smile and blond curls flowing from her "fly fishing cap" were far too provocative for me. I got lost in her smile! I immediately cut the page out..."this is unbelievable" I uttered. "I have fished from coast to coast, on hundreds of piers,miles of streams and sandy beaches and I have never come across a woman with a fishing rod who is as magnificant as this!  Suddenly, I felt alone....denied one of lifes sweetest fruits! "No More!" I exclaimed!

    I handed the recptionsit the page that I had torn out (which had no ad copy written on it) and asked her if she would write the following with her feminine  penmanship.

Hi Marc!   Looks like we are having trout almondine for dinner. The wine is chilling....the table only needs your company!

   The dragonfly lure that you bought me for our anniversary works just great!...You are so smart!!

   See ya later sweetie!   <3 Alexis <3

P.S.  No peeking in the Victoria Secret bag!  You'll just have to wait!!

I took the picture to my desk and quickly slipped it into a picture frame and placed it dead center on my desk!   Where it remains to this day.

.......I have since learned that this "fly fishing beauty"  is a former model for Estee Lauder in the early 70's......She made her fame and fortune and then walked away from it....moving to upstate NY where she opened a fly fishing school!!!!!!! her name is Karen Graham..she is real.   

I heard a beggar call from his crutch...why..why ask for so much?

A woman called from her darkened door..why?..why not ask for more?

Like a bird, on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free....Leonard Cohen

..One is never free from the beauty that warms their heart!....In that case....ask for More!

     Marc :)

 

 

Confessions Of A Tightrope Walker

"HEY LOOK UP!........I'M UP HERE!!.....LOOK , I"M UP HERE ON THE HIGHWIRE!!"

    We are all tightrope walkers! Afterall we have just one heart that has the amazing job of balancing all of our emotions! Imagine.....the same heart that can full of Joy, can also be deflated by Sadness....the same heart that can be so Bold with Courage, can also shrivel in Fear......the same heart that  falls in Love, can be filled with Hate.  YIKES!  What a balancing act that is! One heart and so many emotions running counter to each other! It is no wonder that so many of us fall off this highwire! 

Well, there is no shame in falling off....its just a tragedy if you don't get back up!

 Now as for me, I've been doing a pretty good job staying up here..and no, its not intellect that will keep you on this fine line....while it is intellect that will provide you with the knowledge how to maintain balance, it is Faith that provides the Will to stay up here!   Intellect always will tell us what is possible, Faith will tell us, everything is possible if you believe in yourself!  Faith defies intellect all the time!

I hope and pray there's a whole lot Faith being communed to the parts of this world that have been given a reason to stop believing.

   Safe and peaceful journies......    Marc :)

Garage Sale...Used Heart .25 Cents

    Time and proximity influence the attention we can give to an event. For example, a car crash that takes place on your street corner will certainly have  you focus more attention on it than another accident that has occured 30 miles away. Or, if your child becomes ill, it certainly will grab more of your attention than  if a friend of yours who lives 500 miles away with a child that is ill. The heartache you have today, supecedes the the heartache you had 5 years ago.  Time and proximity, the closer the event is to our eyes, the greater its intensity we feel...its only natural.

   So, on this solemn anniversary of  Sept. 11, I beg your pardon for being short on worthy words on a horrific event in our history which affects each one of us. My attention has been diverted by the sale of my home of 24 years. Yes, I know, I am most fortunate to be able to have sold it and not lost it in a flood...we need not experience the very worst of others to feel the loss.......

   With two weeks remaining before we move, today was the day..the garage sale! Garage sales are not meant for the sentimental, or  the morally sensitive.... The fishing rod that I sold for 2 bucks was worth far greater than that amount in sentimental value. The many days that my boys and I woke before the sun, with a certain eagerness, drove to a pier and baited our lines. The thrills of the catch, the easy moments of time spent alone. I could see all of that as the man walked triumphantly away with his new purchase.

....and so the day went, article after article being carted off, desks where homework assignments labored over...beds, where they slept, tables, where meals were eaten, games where laughter was shared....

   My sons came home to help with the sale, they were happy to see their items being passed along into others hands...and they did an outstanding job of loading beds in the back of vans, and assisting those who needed a hand.

  I know..life is about moving on and its wrong not to allow time do to its job of erasing and softing the impact ...... and so, I release my grasp on this hour hand and let it loose...let time tick quickly...as it will bring  me further from this aching heart!.....Unfortunately, for the survivors of 9/11 and Katrina, time does not move fast enough......

  A new day begins soon!  Godspeed and Peace to all~~~~Marc :)

  

This Summer I Went Swimming

  Precisely the same time each day a group of campers, 6 years of age, were marched down to the lake for their hour of swim time.

  The group was divided, the swimmers and the non swimmers. The swimmers were marched down a long pier that led to the middle of the lake. The non swimming group, stayed right at the shallow part, which was surrounded by a dock. This was the "learning pen". That is where I spent my summer afternoons. During that hour, the counselors would spend a few minutes with each of us, giving instructions.

  I can still recall feeling the arms of the counslor under my chest, and his commandments "kick,kick,kick!" My eyes would be closed, my cheeks swollen from its one big gulp of air!

  One eventful day, while doing my kicking and thrashing, I found myself hitting the edge of the dock. I looked around and to my amazement I was fifteen feet from from my cheerful counselor! That was it! I sawm! I took another gulp of air,kicked and thrashed and made the return trip! I was a swimmer!

  Up to that point, nothing had given me such a boost of self esteem. I was officially emancipated from land! In the next few days I proved that I had earned my fins and was released from the group of "guppies", and allowed to swim with the other group in the middle of the lake.

  Many summers later I encountered another new environment. A mysterious and well cloaked realm that compelled my exploration. The female! This soft skinned, finely scented species, was so pretty and so new to me. How was I to navigate this new enviornment?

  Well, like that beginning swimmer of years before, I kicked and thrashed, took deep gulps of air and swallowed water. I nearly drowned in my own pool of tears.

  Then a cool Summer's night, I found the most  tender of touches on my heart. The feeling was so reassuring , there could be no stopping me. The soft touch of  Young Love was sweeter and and more compelling than anything I had ever known!

  Each "goodnight" was accompanied with a kiss that conveyed a passionate and magnetic energy. I could feel my emancipation from a solitary world of oneness and innocence.

  It is this time of year, at Summers end, that I fondly recall the episodes of my summer fun and romance. The emancipated young man who was able to boast "This Summer I  Went Swimming".

Milestones and moments....may you all reflect fondly upon  all of them.   Marc :)

(I'm the one second from the top the of ladder)

 

Turn,Turn,Turn

    We all face numerous personal tragedies in our lifetime. We all have our days of physical and emotional suffering.

 This has been a week of absolute grief. There is nothing delicate about grief. The grief becomes magnified when we know we are grieving. And who enjoys confronting grief? The griever, usually waits for time to help with the healing.Unfortunately the grief of victims of Katrina, will need a long time. I hope and pray that the load of grief thay carry will be eased by the many who care. For us, it is our time to carry that weight.........

M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Archive › B › Byrds › Turn! Turn! Turn!

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Music-pete seeger

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late

                                               It's a time for healing..for all of us.   Peace~~~ Marc