Grains Of Sand

The Astronaut Birthday Cake

2008-12-06T21:35:00.000-08:00

At eight years old, my favorite sound was the school bell ringing at 3 P.M., which signaled the end of the school day!. Once outside the school, I would run to the corner and meet with my friends, my older Sister and her friends. We would begin our walk home in a large group, taking turns in exchanging the classroom happenings.

With each passing street the group shrunk in size as our friends went into their homes. The last two blocks was just my Sister and me. We always took a brief pause in our walk to check out the corner bakery and would marvel at the front window displaying the most sumptuous desserts,.

It was fifty years ago, yet the sight of this one particular cake is forever engraved in my mind. It was one week from my 8th birthday, “Look at that birthday cake!” I exclaimed to my Sister. The cake was a half dome, smothered with white icing and three astronauts planted on the top. “Oh man, my birthday is coming up and I hope I get that cake!” I said excitedly to my Sister. My Sister, had inherited the disciplinary side of my Mom replied, “Forget about it, it’s probably too expensive, Mommy can’t afford it and if you eat it, you’ll get fat!” I was pulled away from the window with my wishes falling to the concrete. My parents had recently divorced and even my small immature mind sensed the dire circumstances.

The week passed quickly and my birthday came. It was on a Sunday and my Mother took me and my two Sisters to a local amusement park where we spent the afternoon going on rides, eating cotton candy and laughing at the clowns that passed by. A neighbor had joined us for our Sunday dinner, my favorite, roast beef and mashed potatoes. The table was cleared, and as my Mom came out from kitchen, she dimmed the lights and started a chorus of “Happy Birthday to you”. She lowered her homemade birthday cake with nine burning candles. My eyes focused on the candles and the wish I was about make.

The ringing of the telephone interrupted our song. . “Oh honey, please hold on to that wish…I’ll be right back.” I stared at the brightly burning candles reminding myself they had to blown out with one breath. A few seconds had passed when our neighbor suggested that we check up on Mom, as those candles were making their decent into the cake. We walked into her room and could not believe what we were seeing.. My Mother slumped over in her chair, her face in her hands and sobbing. The phone dangled by its cord. Our neighbor picked up the phone, listened, then said “O.K., I’ll tell the children, I am very sorry, she’ll call you back.” The neighbor turned to us and said, “I’m sorry, but your Grandfather has just passed away.” My Sisters shrieked and began crying, I was too confused. I ran back to the cake with the candles burning, drew a deep breath and wished this wasn’t happening, that my Grandfather was still alive and my mother wasn’t crying.
I blew out the candles and ran back into the room to the haunting sobs. It was my turn to cry.

The neighbor escorted us out of the room and cleaned up the table while my sisters and I wept ourselves to sleep.

I woke the next morning and had hoped the night before was a bad dream, but one look at my Mom and I knew this was real. I was always proud that my Mom was a pretty lady, but on this morning, she was a stranger to me. Her face was drawn; the life had been pulled from it. She wore large sunglasses to cover her puffed eyes and her hair completely disheveled. I could not believe that grief and sadness could change the way a person looked. “I will be going to California for the funeral; Lottie will come and stay with you for the week that I am away. Please behave yourself, and listen to everything Lottie says.”

The week passed my young heart was heavy with sadness and despair for what my Mother was going through. I prayed that when she returned she would look like “mom” again.

Our neighbor took us to the airport to meet her. As soon as we spotted her exit, we charged at her, her face seemed to brighten, her eyes still covered by the sunglasses.
We piled into the backseat of the car and she in the front and told us about her trip, how Grandma and our Aunts and Uncles were doing. She asked how we managed during the week and we filled her in. She turned around to me and said, “I know how hard this must be for you, as the news came at the worst possible moment. When we get home give me the names of your friends, I’ll make out invitations, and next week we will have a make-up birthday party for you.” I didn’t understand how someone could have a birthday party on a day that wasn’t their birthday, but I accepted my Moms suggestion feeling that I would never be able to celebrate my birthday on that same day ever again.

The following Sunday arrived and my friends showed up. We played board games, spin the tail on the donkey, ate candy and made noise. My Mom served up some hot dogs and just as we finished eating, the lights went out and she began a chorus of “Happy Birthday to You”, I shut my eyes and prayed that phone would not ring. When I opened them the brightly light cake was positioned in front of me. It was the astronaut cake! “WOW” I exclaimed, “I can’t believe it!” My lungs felt lighter and took a huge gulp of air, made my wish and blew the candles out with a hurricane force wind!

I leaned forward and removed the three astronaut figures from the cake. I licked the icing off their boots and placed them next to my plate. My Mom cut the cake and gave me the largest piece saying that the birthday boy gets the bigger piece. I dug my fork in and scooped up a piece that was larger than my mouth and as I began to stuff it into my mouth I glanced over at my sister who was laughing at the sight. My eyes caught a glimpse of my mom, who was once again smiling and looking like her beautiful self. For the first time in what seemed a dark eternity, my world seemed right again.

A parent knows all too well how confusing this world can be to a child. Grief, disappointment and deceit enter without an introduction or warm up. We are too unprepared to deal with the event but are always left carrying the scars of it.
The sky had fallen on my head, and her sky had fallen on her, yet she had the inner strength to come lift mine first. On that day, with allowing a few friends to celebrate and an astronaut cake she was able to take hold of my hand and walk me through a terrifying pathway of life.

So I have learned, with the love of a parent, a child will be able to defy the gravity of life’s harsh realities.

Peace…Marc J

UNBREAKABLE VOWS

2008-08-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

Imagine for a moment, that movie theaters had no marquis. That's right, no names in the bright lights, no posters on the front doors. You enter the theater, sit down, and must watch whatever appears on the giant screen!

Now imagine, that you are the main character in each movie! "What? How did I get in this flick?" you would always ask yourself! "I must be dreaming!" The truth is, you would be dreaming!

We close our eyes each night and are escorted into a theater where we have no idea what scenes are about to take place. Most likely, we are the main character, speaking lines and playing a part that we have not rehearsed.

The other night I closed my eyes and was eascorted to my seat in this theater. The scene opened, and standing before me was my first love, wearing a wedding dress and white flowers in her hair. She had aged the many years that lie between us, but had that youthful look in her eyes. A voice spoke loud, "You may now kiss the bride". In the same instant a narrative explained that we met later on in life and were now being wed!"At Last" I breathed,as we both slowly leaned towards each other. Our lips met,and I could feel the warmth and tenderness of this special kiss. As our lips parted, I took her hand and placed it on my heart heart. I smiled and said, "look how fast my heart beats from your kiss". There was a twinkle in her eyes, and a smile on her face as she said "you remembered".

In the next instant I was jumping out bed, beads of sweat running down my neck and my heart racing as if I swallowed a bottle of rocket fuel! In my altered state I went straight to the bathroom and turned the shower to full blast. "What was that?" I mutered to myself as the water pounded down on my head. "What was that?" ....Puzzled like a person who lands in foreign country and can't speak a word of their language.

I replayed the dream over and over, very careful not to edit or embellish, as if it was going to be evidence that would be submitted in court. I was locked in this altered state, unable to sort out the meaning. Her last words "you remembered" haunted me. What was it that I remembered? What was it that she thought I had forgotten? What could have created this whole scenario? Slowly, the truth began to emerge, not all at once, but slowly, like the sun rising over the horizon.

When we close our eyes and enter the arena of sleep, we let go of reality. Once reality is tucked away, a cinema that we are not aware of begins playing. The doors to our heart open and many emotions come pouring out seeking a direction.. If we are lucky, the heart will take them to place in time when great changes occured in our lives. If we are really lucky, they return to the point where the toe of innocense made its fist step into the sea of love.

My rapidly beating heart occured at our first kiss.We always ask ourself when engaging in that first kiss,"what does he/she think?" There was no denying thet her kiss could make my heart pound and I was happy to show her. She always responded, "yeah, but will you say that tomorrow?"

What I had forgotten in reality, I remembered in a dream!

Only in a dream can one be returned to place where all the broken promises are put back together to form an unbreakable vow.

So, as you wander through your days and close your eyes at night, just know, that someone, somwhere has placed you in their cinema, reassembled all the broken promises and remembers what reality has taken away. May you rise in the morning knowing,there exists a place where there are unbreakable vows.

Marc :)

Young At Heart

2008-07-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

The newspapers are loaded with the back to school advertisements. As the school bells ring they signal not only the start of a new school year, but they signal the end of summer.

The first day of school was always exciting. It was a time to take the new sneakers out of the box, to sport a new outfit and the new lunch box! The first day was all about introductions. The teacher introducing herself, her expectations and her groundwork which had to be followed. It was a time to introduce yourself to your new classmates. In each new grade, the same exercise was imposed upon us by the teacher. "I want you to stand up, introduce yourself and tell the class briefly what you did this summer"

There was one year, many years ago, that I couldn't wait to stand up and boast to my friends about my summer! I took a deep breath, "My name is Marc and this summer I visited my family in Los Angeles. I went to 5 Dodger games, saw Sandy Koufax pitch a no-hitter, went to Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm. Spent a lot of time at Santa Monica beach,learned how to body surf on big waves. I went to Carmel California where I visited the Hearst Castle. Went to a drive in movie theater a few times. Visited the production lot of Twentieth Century Fox and saw them film the TV shows "WagonTrain" & "The Lucille Ball Show". Had lunch in the commisary and Rock Hudson was sitting at the table next to mine! Flew in a big jet, and that was my summer!

I remember getting my share of attention from the girls at the mention of Rock Hudsons name. It was resonated like Pavlovs theory. I employed it often.

One thought provocation often leads to another, my mind has intervened and asked me point blank.."O.K. Marc, please stand up and tell the class what you have done in the summer of 2008"

(kness cracking as I slowing rise).... I purchased a Blackberry, Also purchased a compact car that gets over 30 miles to to the gallon. Had my first MRI, a hearing exam which revealed a hearing loss,. Got new glasses, stronger prescription, switched to decaffinated coffee. Between the blistering heat and smoke from summer fires and the soaring gas prices, spent quality time indoors. Painting doors, rearranging the pantry and closets.Dropped the Blackberry in the toilet. Went to a ballgame,caught the same fish twice in the same day! (I guess even fish can get bored). Scheduled a colonoscopy.

WHAT???? "I can't believe this" I murmed to myself. "I want to be 12 again!!".

There are pills, longevity diet plans, elixers, etc that all promise the "Fountain Of Youth". Nothing can turn back the hands of time....no nothing. The worst part about growing older is when you feel older.While there isn't a cure for aging,there is something that keeps the spirit vital and vibrant. The walk down the road of time should always be with chin up and the world in view.

This is best achieved with a simple dance, so if any of you ladies care to join in, my good friend Frank will serenade us while we slowly dance....

by the way,,,did I ever tell you that I once sat next to Rock Hudson?

...on 3 Frank..."1,2,3"

Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you
If you're young at heart
For its hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If youre young at heart

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting with each passing day
And love is either in your heart or on its way

Dont you know that its worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are, its much better by far
To be young at heart

And if you should survive to 105
Look at all youll derive out of being alive
Then here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart.

May your summer days be filled with dreams that will bring you warmth for years to come!...and may you stay, Young at heart!!!

~~~Marc :)

Every Step we take

2008-06-28T21:19:00.000-07:00

From the moment of birth we take countless steps. The paths go off in many different directions and will intersect with other paths, but the last step we take brings us all to the same place, our death..

Imagine for a moment that you were living in 1776, and that you walked through a door and found yourself here in 2008! Highways, cities, cars, planes, cell phones, computers,supermarkets, toilets!! You would be overwhelmed by how far we advanced, but not knowing how we came to the way we currently live, much of this could not be fully appreciated.

We must take the steps, as ordinary as that might be.Some directions we choose, and some are chosen for us. Each is with a reason, whether we are meant to understand it or not. The language of Nature has been open to interpretation since man took his first steps.

Now too retrace some of mine.....

Fifteen years ago to this day, I was dressed in a coaches uniform and was surrounded by my team of 13 year olds, waiting for me to deliver a pregame pep talk. "Guys! Look at me". I commanded. I could see their eyes were focused on the opposing pitcher warming up on the mound. I could hear the boys whisper,"look how fast he is throwing the ball". "Yeah," chimed another, "that's Maudy Hernandez, he hasn't lost a game yet!"..."YET!!" exclaimed Bill Riggans,also a Coach of the team. "Even Nolan Ryan loses games...the best pitchers in baseball always lose games, and today is Maudys turn!"

Bills delivery of inspiration was strong and blunt.He insisted that the boys could beat anyone they wanted to with blindfolds on. I was the methodical one, always giving them a plan of attack. I'm certain if we were alive 5,000 years ago, he would have been the one telling David to kick Goliaths butt. I would have been the one to suggest that he aim between the eyes.

Yes, Maudy Hernandez was one of the best players in our park (along with Jeff Keppinger who now plays for the Reds). Opposing coaches were always in unison in admiring their talents and seeing their potential.

The years rolled by,Bill and I coached a few more years together and shared many great times together. All along, his hopes were for his son to play as long as possible. However, his son Shawn, was never given the opportunity to play in any of his High School games. Against all odds, he walked on at College, and against bigger odds, was drafted by Tampa Bay!

Bill and I stayed in touch over the years and we kept tabs on the boys that played with us and against us. We had lost touch with Maudy Hernandez until last August, when his face appeared on news. Maudy, a detective was shot in the head while stopping a man who was driving erratically. We were devastaed. We knew him not only as a fine athlete, but as a wonderful, very mature young man,who was humble in his victory. No one minded losing to him. His parents and younger brother were fixtures at the park as they watched every game and attended each of his practices.

Maudy was clinging to life, his prognosis was dark.

A few months passed and Maudy was in the news again, against all odds he survived and was being sent home. It was time to take the long road towards redeveloping his life.

Last year, Shawn suffered a season ending injury and could not play for the Rays.This year, against the odds, he recovered, made the team and is thrilled to be playing for a first place team (this too is against the odds, Tampa has never had a winning season!)

A few days ago the Rays came to town, Shawn called to let me know there would be tickets waiting for me at the Marlin Stadium. As I walked through the stadium, chills ran up and down my spine, recalling the pint sized boy with huge dreams, and how his father insisted he could outmatch each and every Goliath that stood in his path.

Bill was seated, I approached and said "your heart has to busting through your shirt!" He smiled, "I can't believe I am here!" "Well", I continued, "you can strike this off your bucket list". "Bucket List? What's that?" I asked if he had seen the movie "The Bucket List" and then began giving him a summary and equated us to the two main characters."Oh yeah, well then I might as well cross off seeing Shawn play at the Marlin stadium, but heck, I still have one long list of things before I kick any bucket!"

Just then our conversation was interrupted by the voice over the loudspeaker system. "Ladies and gentlemen, please draw your attention to the mound,throwing out tonights first pitch of the game is Maudy Hernandez". Bill and I gasped, tears filled our eyes, suddenly being at the stadium that night had nothing to do about Shawn. Maudy dressed in a Marlin shirt raised his arm and fired a strike to the catcher! The stadium rose and gave a standing ovation. Flanked by his parents, Maudy slowly walked off the field . As he was passing the Rays dugout, Shawn Riggans stepped out. Maudy stopped and with a look that his mind was playing tricks he said "Shawn is that you?" Shawn nodded, the two boys embraced, Maudy exclaiming "I can't believe you made it!" and Shawn echoing "I am so happy you made it through!". Shawn, Maudy and his parents chatted for a minute, then exited the field. Just as I was wiping away some straggling tears, the voice came over the loudspeaker once again, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please draw your attention to first base where tonights honorary Marlin is Hollywood actor and film Director, Rob Reiner!" (He directed "The Bucket List"). I looked up into the night sky and smiled "got it".

Within moments of that event, a stadium representative appeared in front of us and explained that Maudy and his family would like for us to come up to his box and say hello. Despite the years that had passed, the memories of all were sharp as we recanted the good old days at he park.

If you put meaning in your steps, they are never washed away by the sea of time.

Bill and I returned to our seats and spent the remainder of the game "coaching from the sidelines". "Come on Carl" Bill screamed "This is your pitch-take it deep". I questioned why Carl why was batting 3rd in the lineup as a matter of fact, I questioned the batting order. Bill said,"Well the Coach is only two rows in front of us, why don't we just walk in the dugout and ask!" ....and as the ump called "ball four" giving the opposing batter a walk I yelled out, "ball four?..It was right there!" Bill questioned my judgement saying I was too far from the plate and didn't have an angle. "I don't need an angle...I know if I was in the batters box , I would have swung at that pitch!" The dialogue continued and it felt like we were transported back in time. Retracing years of steps in the course of one night!

The game ended and as we exited, I could not help but muse on how and why I was there that night. How all the steps that I and others have taken would lead us to this moment...a higher moment. A moment where seeing the extraordinary within the ordinary occurs.

Once again I realized the importance of each step we take. "Fast Forward" doesn't work.It would be like falling asleep on Space Shuutle before it takes off and waking up when its landing in Houston!

There is meaning and purpose in everything and every step you take. Should our paths cross we will see each other at level not imagined.

Its a new day...time for another step. May you step with Peace~ Marc

Mountain Of Knowledge-Castles made Of Sand

2008-02-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

A warm "thank you" to Vish who selected me this week for guest editor role. My only regret is that I could not mention the many other fine journals that I visit . Everyone here has a heart that reaches out with words. They are placed here , and like grains of sand they form a mountain of knowlege. Each of your experinces, each of your thoughts, each of your photos, evidence that the pathways to our soul is always open! All of your journals are a complete joy to visit !

Now, back to the topic....Mountain Of Knowledge...

I confess, I haven't quite gotten over the fact that Adam ASSUMED Eve knew what she saying when she said it was ok to eat the apple.

Not sure why, but "making assumptions" is definitely blended into our nature.How many times a day do we perform an act because we "assume" that act is expected of us?

I have made many trips to that Mountain of Knowledge, and only once did I come close to an answer.....................................

One day I climbed to a plateau on this mountain, and as I was inhaling the soft breezes, I could hear cries coming from the side of the mountain. I went to the edge, looked down and saw two damsels were stranded on a ledge just 12 feet below!

“Please help us” they sobbed. I rubbed my eyes, for these damsels in distress were no ordinary damsels, they were Wisdom and Peace! I assumed that if I could rescue them, they would share their inner most secrets with me! “Help is on the way” I called out. I turned to a nearby tree and broke off branches and leaves and fashioned a vine. I secured the vine around a rock and lowered myself down to the ledge.

I held one arm open to Wisdom and said “come, place your arm around my waist and I will carry you up”. Wisdom approached and as she took the vine from my hand , gave me a nudge. “Do you really think that Wisdom doesn’t know how to climb?” she asked with a smile. In the blink of an eye, she climbed up to the plateau. I held my arm open to Peace, and said “come Peace, hold on to my waist and I will carry you up”. Peace approached me, and also nudged me to the side and placed the vine around her waist. “When you have Wisdom as a friend, you don’t need more”. In the blink of an eye, Peace was lifted up to the plateau. I looked up to see the pair looking down at me,”ok, very nicely done, please toss me the vine”. I said with a tone of defeat in my voice. Their smiling faces disappeared and their laughter began to fade away. “The Vine!” I called out. Wsidom called back, “you don’t need a vine, you will figure out how to get back up, and when you do, you will be Wiser and at Peace with yourself!” As their laughter faded, I mused, now I know why Adam made his assumption, it was his absolute faith in God that led him to believe he was ENTITLED to have knowledge!

Believing and having faith does not constitute entitlement to Knowledge! Knowledge must gained through experience , through pain, through struggle and through fear.I needed to be defeated by those damsels, to learn that it cannot be gained by assuming how to act!

And I mused, How foolish to think that Wisdom and Peace would need me to rescue them!

Yes, I still go back and climb upon that Mountain, despite the bumps and bruises and those "sprites" that inhabit it, each lesson learned bears the taste of fruit, wisdom and knowledge.!

Have a wonderful Week...towards the light......Marc :)

The List

2008-02-09T06:44:00.000-08:00

It was the end of a long day and all I needed for a final send off was a glass of milk. I opened the refrigerator and reached in for the milk conatiner which had just enough to lighten a cup of coffee. This reminded me to check the can of coffee, which had enough grinds to make a "two sips" worth! I began taking attendance, Juice also low, bread, two slices of which one was the end slice. I glanced at the clock, 10:30 PM, just enough time to make it to the supermarket and thwart what would become a dreadful morning.

I pulled in the parking lot, opened the car door and barely had the energy to get out of the car. "I should be crawling into bed" I muttered to myself. I pulled a shopping cart from the rack, and slowly made my way down the aisle. As I placed the carton of milk into the wagon I noticed a neatly folded piece of paper resting at the bottom. I lfted it up and unfolded it to its original 8 1/2"X 11" size. It was a shopping a list and the handwriting with its soft curves was undeniably, feminine. The list read, ....ground beef, bread crumbs, ketchup, milk, cookies, ice cream. Then in another column, away from this list, on the lower right hand side of the page was another short list,....Tampons, panty liners,douche, pamprin. In an instant, I could feel a tingling run down my spine. My mouth dropped and my eyes widened, and I stared at this list as if I had uncovered a map leading to a buried treasure. I whispered to myself, "I can't believe it, the answer was in front of me all the time,and I never noticed!"

Woman....Nourisher, sustainter, healer. She always places the needs of others ahead of her own. Of the two genders, she is more empathetic,and less selfish. She has been that way since the dawn of time. How was our Creator to know that he could trust one of genders to have such a power? In order to feel someone elses pain,one must feel it for themselves first. In order to comfort another before you even think of comforting yourself, one must feel its own discomfort first. In order to willingly give life to others, one must feel the preciousness of life from within. So, our Creator, with his subtle ways, created a time clock of discomfort and pain,which would serve as a reminder that one of the species would always be attentive, caring, loving to others. To provokea person in such a way they would INSTINCTIVELY always place the needs of others ahead of her own....and so, Woman was created!

I folded the list and placed it back in the wagon. I had come for a carton of milk , juice and coffee and came away with a new persepective, another piece of the puzzle.

Bob Dylan wrote, "The answer my friend is blowing in the wind". No words resonate with more truth....the answers are as close to us as the wind is to our faces! All we need to do do is stop and feel it!

Another Coin In The Cup

2008-02-01T20:40:00.000-08:00

My daily walk to the office has me pass down this one block where the homeless congregate. Several weeks ago, upon reaching the end of this block, I noticed a new member to this brigade. An old man, bound to a wheel chair that had warped wheels and a rotten wooden board as a backrest. My heart sank at the sight of him and his misfortune. He sat there lifeless, holding onto a soiled papercup that had a few coins in it. I stopped, reached in my pocket and tossed a few coins in. The sound of the coins woke him from his slumber.He looked up at me, "Bless you!Thank You! Bless you!" he said. The mere emphasis on the "thank you" sent goosebumps up my arms, and a tingling sensation down my spine. I never knew that 50 cents could still buy me such a thrill.

Weeks passed, he became a permanent fixture on the corner, and my donation, a daily ritual. The other morning, I received a phone call as I was walking and was deeply engaged in the conversation. I walked past the homeless man, and was halted by his cry, "Hey! You forgetting me today?" I stopped, turned, and habitually placed my hand in my pocket and tossed a few coins in his cup. he smiled and drifted back into his slumber.

After I finished my conversation I was overwhelmed by what had taken place. The whole act of charity had been sabotaged. I was giving out of habit, and he was thankless because it was something he come to expect!

Gratitude is best expressed when you receive something beyond your expectation.

Of course, I mused. I am thankful for each day. Each day is like a coin in my cup. The day does not need to be filled with accomplihments or dreams being fullfilled. Just give me a day, and I can fill it with so many simple small things, that by the nighttime it is too heavy to lift. Just give me a day, where I can say a few "I love Yous" a few "thank Yous" and other mutually uplifting words, and I am in debted to the donor!. Just drop another day in my cup, where I am given minutes to recall what it felt like to hold your hand, hold you in my arms, and look in your eyes. Just drop those minutes in my cup, allowing me another opportunity to add something to your memory! Drop this coin into my cup and I feel like the richest man on earth!

I am this way, because I have never expected how wonderful and fullfilling thesethings can be.

Tomorrow the sun will rise, and when I see it, I will hear the clinking...another coin in my cup!...and I will raise my head and thank the donor!

May you all hear the same jingling!

The Worlds Greatest Roller Coaster

2008-01-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

While sitting quietly and being entertained with a fine glass of wine, I could not help but overhear a conversation two women were having at a New years Eve gathering. "How did you make out with your New Years resoloutions from last year?" asked the first woman. "Surprizingly, I did pretty good" came the cheery reply. Continuing she went on to explain,"last year I made a resoloution to pay off my Visa credit card. I took a part time job on the weekends, and every dollar I made went to pay that debt off. In October, I made my last payment and then cut the card up!, I am so proud of myself!" The other woman complimented her resolve and in the same breath said, "Don't tell me, but are those Jimmy Choo shoes you have on?" The second woman giggled, "I can't believe you noticed, they set me back 300 bucks but they are worth every penny! When I cut up my Visa card, I took out a mastercard with no interest for the first six months!"

I sipped my wine, and was compelled to muse. Our two favorite pastimes, making resoloutions on New Years Eve, and Roller Coasters! No wonder, the two have so much in common! When making a resoloution we strap ourselves into a seat that will point us into the face of tempatation and in the same instant, take us away.As we have our withdrawals from our habits, we are not sure if our cries are from pain or joy!

Naturally, I had to recall my flashback of the resoloutions that I made a year ago, and how I fared. I remember making the resoloution that I would completely refine my diet. I embraced a whole new pantry of wholesome foods. I learned to love shakes that looked like seaweed ..I have consumed berries, mushrooms, and teas from lands I never knew existed. The buyer at Whole Foods Market calls me for advice! While I have imbibed all this wonderful life extending food, I still managed to gain 10 pounds in the past year!. I am not concerned, the weight gain is all antioxidants!

My other resoloution was designed to increase my overall productivity. This is hard for a man who dreams. I made the resoloution not to spend so much time thinking about the way things once were. I succeeded, by unfortunately, I found myself thinking more about the way things are. In doing so, I took an uncomfortable notice.The present is a place of highs and lows, the present is a path that runs straight, then banks left, right and left again! One moment there is calm, the next is filled with anxiety, fear , or with love and joy. When you are in the present nothing stays the same for too long! This is why keeping resoloutions is so very difficult. The tracks of time we are fastened to have so many twists and turns,ups and deep drops dowward, its amazing that we can even stay on the path!

So as I embark this ride into the next year, I resolve to enjoy the feel of the wind against against my face, to maintain my balance with faith that after each sharp twist and turn, I will still be safely seated. My heart will beat wildly with joy and fear,and my exuberance will be from knowing that both joy and fear bring me closer to a higher power.

When the ride comes to its end next year, I will be allowed to look back at the way things were and will only conclude "what a wonderful ride".

I wish each and every one you a Happy, joyous and breathtaking ride through next year. More importantly...we are ridng this together..so fasten your seatbelts....the ride begins!

Peace and many blessings to you all.....Marc :)

Giving Thanks

2007-11-22T21:11:00.000-08:00

At this time of being thankfull, I would like to give thanks to all of you who have spent countless hours creating your wonderful journals! Thank you for providing me with something to think, laugh and smile about. Thank you for provoking me in ways I never expected. ....and...Thank You for coming here, and leaving your kind words and sharing your thoughts! You are a very special and dear group of people!

While I am giving thanks, I would like to thank a few people who unknowingly affected me in such profound ways as to alter my way of thinking.

I would like to thank the woman who applied her make-up at a traffic light and gave me a glimpse of how a womans true beauty is revealed. "Lovely and Amazing" (entry 12/18/05)

I would like to thank Hilda for stuffing food in her bra while on the buffet line and showed me that when a love becomes so selfish, it ruins the picnic! "Hildas Bra" (entry 9/17/06)

I would like to thank the cast of Sesame Street, who in two hours taught me the most important lesson I could learn about being a parent! "Sesame Street Live" (entry 6/18/05)

I would like to thank Pearl King, who taught me the weight of a soul is more important than the weight on the scale! "The Weight" (entry 9/3/07)

I would like to thank Carrie, a date, who taught me that laughter is the most powerful aphrodesiac. "Lotus Eaters" (entry 7/19/05)

I would like to thank Kenny, the spoiled one, who gave me the answer to "How many Mantle cards Does A Boy Need" (entry 10/18/05)

I would like to thank that 30 something Blonde in the Bloomindales lingerie dept, who allowed my imagination to transcend time in "Breathless in Bloomies" (entry 12/27/05)

I would like to thank my son for picking up 3 pennies off the floor and allowed me to learn how the highest fence we have to climb is our own ego! "Pennies From Heaven" (entry 2/20/06)

I would like to thank the camper who in bringing me a meatball sub actually brought me the way I would live the rest of my life! ---BIG THANKS FOR THAT! "Meatball Sub" (entry 3/2/06)

There are so many more to thank, but I have to run...as you can see, we have a photographer here that will do a family shoot. There will be no need for me to say "cheese", I'm just going to think of all the wonderful souls that have crossed my pathhere, and I'll have the biggest smile!

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Marc :)

Love Bites

2007-10-21T04:36:00.000-07:00

The other day a young co-worker arrived at the office sporting a "hicky" on his neck. "Nice tattoo" I commented as I handed him his daily task list. "It's only temporary" he replied. As I walked away, I mused,"that's what you think!" My mind quickly ran back in time when I received my first hicky.

It was a summer long ago, I was 14. In the apartment building I lived in, there was a group of us who spent our summer days as if we were cloned . We'd all get up early, watch re-runs of "I Love Lucy, Andy Griffith Show, Leave It To Beaver and Father Knows Best" . By 12 noon we would all meet by the swimming pool and spend the next 5 hours having splash fights,holding your breath underwater contests, perfecting our cannonball dives off the board, and taking siestas inbetween the laughter and the chat. At 5 P.M. we'd all head back to our apts and have our dinners, shower up, and by 7 we'd all reassemble, squeaky clean, in the courtyard.

The courtyard was the hangout for all the residents of the building. Our small group, needing its privacy had a small corner that was exclusive to us, we called it, the "Chit Chat Corner".

On one such evening, just as I was approaching the sacred ground, Lovely Laurie, walked up to me and with her reassuring smile said, "Marc, tilt your head a little". Her wish was always my command, I would have jumped off a building for her, so this seemed rather simple. Without a chance to comprehend her wish, she quickly leaned over, and nibbled on my neck for a mere 3 seconds. She pulled away and her friends who were flanking her right and left shoulder immediately commented. "Nice Laurie, very Nice". Then, my freinds joined in with their observations, "wow Marc, nice looking Hicky".

"Hicky?" I asked in puzzlement, "what is a hicky?"

They all laughed at my naivety. "You don't know what a Hicky is?" they chimed. My level of wisdom was challanged, but these were my friends, so I felt fine in pleading to my innocense. "When you suck on your skin for a few seconds, you break the blood vessels and a mark appears." Somehow, this did not make much sense to me, so I paid no further attention to it.

We disassembled for the evening, I returned home, greeted by my older sister (she was 18 at the time, and the "rebel" amongst the 3 of us) "Wow Bro, nice Hicky you have there!" She looked examining the mark. "Who gave that to you?" .....Justthen my other older Sister appeared on the scene (16 at the time and she inherited the "Mom" side) . "Oh my, Mom is gonna be real mad when she sees that on your neck!" she admonished.I tried defending myself explaining that Laurie was just practicing but it was met with a several disbelieving "uh hums". The commotion brought the attention of my Mom and Step Dad (my step dad was a Lee Marvin look alike and soundalike...tall with a deep husky voice) My mother came into the kitchen, "what's going on here? Did I hear something about a Hicky?" My Step dad moved right in, peered closely at my neck, pressed his finger down hard on it...and looking me in the eye, he said aloud, "Nah, it's a bug bite, go put some calamine lotion on it now!"

I moved quickly past the crowd, into the bathroom and doused cottonballs with the pink lotion and then painted my neck. Yes, that did the trick. As I admired this "bite" on my neck,with all the attention it garnered, I began to understand its significance!

It wasn't till a few years later till I received my next Hicky, and not only understood, but deeply appreciated its significance! My level of wisdom elevated....the next few days I wore a turtleneck sweater!

Yes, the Hicky only lasts a few days on the skin...but in the heart....it lasts much longer!

The Voice

2007-09-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

There is little enjoyment in being told what to do. This is where many an offspring takes a detour from that abiding path it walked with its parents. This is where many a loyal employee seeks shelter in extra coffee breaks and "sick days". This is where many a spouse begins building "the wall". Face it, young or old, it just doesn't sit well with us when we are told that we must do something.

It was many years ago, my first week in the Army I observed that the best way to de-humanize someone, was to tell them what they had to do, every minute of every day! It was there, I was told what to wear, when and what I could eat, when I would wake up and when I would sleep. I was told how to stand ("ATTENTION"), I was told when to relax ("AT EASE,SOLDIER"). I was told which way to face ("right face") and worse, 90% of the steps I took, I was told which foot to place on the ground ("left, right ,left"!).In just a week, I asked myself, "who am I?"

It was during those days that a voice from within emerged loud and clear. This was my inner voice. It brought me the songs that warmed my soul, it comforted me when I was wounded, it encouraged me when I needed a double dose of bravery. This voice carried all the words of my sweetheart that I left behind, it kept a count on the days that remained till my tour was up. It entertained me like Bob Hope would entertain the troops, and thus, I was still able to smile and share a laugh with others. As I boarded the bus to return home, my inner voice yelled "Yahoo, you made it, you see, you did it, just like I said you would!"

Since that day, I never argued with my inner voice.

Two weeks ago, I received a phone call from my son who was in tears. A relationship that he thought would be "everlasting" came to a screeching halt and smashed into too many bits and pieces to put together again. "I know you are calling me with the hope that I am going to give you some special message that will make this pain go away" I said. "Yes,I can really use something to grasp onto" he said with the sound of despair in his voice. I drew a deep breath and said "I am not the person you should be speaking to. You need to speak with the most intelligent person that I know, a person that I trust will steer you in the right direction". My son paused, "who is that?" he asked . "That extremeley intelligent person is your inner voice! Sit down and listen to that voice that has taken you further than I ever imagined you going. Have a chat with that voice that knows you better than anyone on this planet!"

I explained the answers won't pop up like a magic wand has been waved, but clarity will come with time , and healing with introspection.

We spoke yesterday, he sounds just fine and is moving on with his life, fortifying his resolve and saving his energy for the next possibility.

I just love how that inner voice works!

So, the next time you feel that need to hear someone really intelligent, someone who really knows you....just let that inner voice begin to speak! You'll love what you'll hear!

The Weight

2007-09-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

The Weight

"Uh-Oh" were the first words I uttered today. It was my commentary after reading the numbers on the scale. "Time to start another serious diet" I contemplated. This lament is not new. It seems most of my life has been a series of starting a new diet just as the old one ended!

My first battle began at age 11. My mother had taken me to a clothing store for a suit. The salesman ( once known as a Habidasher), measured my waist, my inseam, my shoulders, and then slipped the tape measure around my chest. He gently placed his hand on my shoulder, smiled cordially at my my mom and said " you have a fine young growing boy here, we shall need to look in the "Husky" section. "What's a Husky? I innocently asked. my mother quipped, "it means you are growing the wrong way! Instead of growing taller you are growing sideways!". I glanced over to her, she had this look, like I had double crossed her. I felt awful. I never liked that look. It was a guilty verdict that diminished my feeling of self-esteem.

In those days there wasn't any no Jenny Craig, NutriSystem or Weight Watcher Programs. There were no Lean Cuisines, Healthy Choice Meals and the word "Low fat" was not a concept on packaging labels. There wasn't Diet Coke!

The following week I found myself in the backseat of the car being driven to a clinic to be consulted with a "dietitian". Learning experiences...I was always open to what they had to offer.

We arrived at the assigned room. The dietitian sat at her desk and took down all types of information about me. She began explaining about calories, food choices and the importance of keeping a diary of what I ate. She handed me pages of the food groups that I could pick from and a suggested menu for the next seven days. "Next week, you'll come back, report to the room marked on the paper and we will monitor your progress". My world was slightly inconvienced, but anything not have my mother give me that double crossed looked again!

The next week we arrived at the room. I opened the door to find a room filled with people sitting in chairs. The dietitian was sitting at a desk in front of the room, next to her, an assistant. "Sign your name on the sheet, have a seat and wait till I call your name" she commanded with a voice of authority. I signed my name at the bottom of a long list and then took a seat with my parents in the back.

The silence was broken by the loud announcement of a name by the assistant. I observed a person get up from their chair, walk to the front of the room , stepped on a Drs. scale."One Hundred and Sevnty Four pounds, You lost two pounds" came the unpleasantly loud voice of the assistant. My heart jumped, "oh my, how embarrassing!" I began to sweat as my pulse heightened. I carefully paid attention as each name was called, trying to imagine how I was going to summon enough courage to do this. The assisant called out "PEARL KING"...I turned to my mom, her name was Pearl, not a common name, I chuckled and she smiled at me, "not me" she said. Two rows ahead of us, the chairs squealed as they were slid across the floor. A woman slowly rose. I could not believe my eyes...she had the biggest backside I had ever seen! She had a large dress on, there was no telling where her tush began or ended. As she approached the scale I began to immediately feel sorry for what she was about to experince. She stepped on the scale, the assistant quickly slid the weights to the end of the beam, making a loud "clack" sound as they hit the end. The assisant took a quick look and loudly announced "NO WEIGHT FOR PEARL KING". Pearl stepped off the scale and sat down next to the dietitian and handed over her diary. Confused I asked my Mom for an explanation. "The scale doesn't go high enough" my mom explained. "Without a weight, how does she know if she is gaining or losing ?" I asked. "She won't know, and she will have to try till her weight comes down to the where the scale measures it". this transcended my abilty to comprehend, imagine walking around and not knowing what you weigh! How awful!

The weeks passed, and I made progress. Each subsequent week I returned with more self confidence and a better understanding of what I could and should not eat. But, poor Pearl King, each week was the same "NO WEIGHT", despite the fact that it appeared she was making some progress.

By the third month I had made enough progress where my Mother said, "I think this will be your last weigh in, I can take over from here". So on that last trip to the clinic, we waited for my nameto be called. "PEARL KING" the assistant called out. Pearl walked up the scale and the assistant once again slammed the weights to the very end, gave a quick glance, then...paused, jiggled the weights, stared and then said aloud " TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY EIGHT POUNDS.....WE HAVE A WEIGHT FOR PEARL KING". My mom and I let out a small "yeah". I was so happy for Pearl, she finally knew her weight! I think I was more relieved about her, than my own progress!

On the ride home my mother told me how proud she was of me, how good I looked and that I needed to continue with my efforts. I could only think of how happy I was for Pearl King.

.....................Now, many many years later, I understand why. We are all here in this world for a limited time. The years go streaming by and it seems like we are just "passing through". We can step on a scale and see what we weigh "physically", but there is no scale that weighs our "usefullness, and fullfillment". That measurement has us all guessing ! Not having such a scale has us pause and ask, "am I doing what I was supposed to do? is the the way I was supposed to spend my life here?"

One can say, that an act of kindness, a blessing rendered onto another is like consuming spiritual calories.If that is the case, then I pray that when our time comes, we all will tip the scales!

The "other" diet begins tomorrow!

Marc :)

Points Of View

2007-08-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

While waiting on the checkout line at Target a woman pulls up behind me with two wagons of patio furniture.She has one of those tabloids and quickly flips the pages, stops, and with a look of concern on her face, reads an article. She reaches for her cell phone. "Hi honey!" she exclaims with a high frequency pitch, "listen, I just checked out my horoscope and it says that I need to spend more time outdoors. I need to take in the summer sun and I will become inspired to do wonderful things!"then continuing in the next breath, "listen, I'm at Target and that Patio furniture we were looking at is on sale, so I'm picking it up!" There was a moment of silence, a noticable expression of disapproval and a subdued, "OK, I'll see you later, bye."

She noticed my stare and expression of disbelief. "Did he actually buy that explanation?" I asked with a broad grin. She smiled back, "nah, he is the same sign as me, he just told me "whatever", then explained that his friend just called and asked him to go fishing on his boat, and his horoscope said he needed to be in the sun too!" Then with a frown, "now I'm going to have to unload this out of the truck and carry it into the backyard myself!"

I turned, a message flashed in my mind like a large billboard that you see on the highway. "We all see the same the thing, we just see it with a different point of view."

The gauntlet was now thrown. My mind tangled with this message. Can it be? All our lives, we look at the same thing and see it differently? I began processing images, a box of chocolates...heavenly to some, deadly and unwanted if you are a diabetic.Marriage, sex, work, food, art, I went through them all and no matter which image I brought up, I could hear two different points of view for each! Goodness! It's a miracle that we can even get along!

My approach to this became forensic, pulling apart moment by moment to find an element that universally we can all see, and have the same point of view! My investigation left me with two such moments in our life, birth and death. A newborn infant, the sight of one has us pause and smile. Even little children, when they see a newborn infant are magnetically drawn to the preciousness and delicateness an infant posseses. Simply, there is nothing as precious and delicate. ....The other element that we all see the same way, the sight of a person that has passed away. Whether we know them or not,the sight of person has all of pause and reflect. Our reflection can be different, but the sight will have us pause and think.

"That's it?" I asked myself. Birth and death are the only images that we can see and have the same point of view", and everything inbetween is open to personal interpretation? "It can't be!" I said. I became overwhelmed with a wave of depression."Life is just too precious for us to march through it and not be in some sort of agreement about what we see!" When I worded it in that form, the answer became apparent! "Life", yes,seconds, minutes, hours,days, seasons, years....each so very precious! It is so precious that it does not matter if we all see it with the same point of view. It matters only if YOU see it that way! When you see each new day as precious as newborn, it will be filled with your love and kindness. And a day with YOUR love and kindness added to it....is something that is universally seen in the same warm and wonderful light!

Wishing you all a wonderful day and a front row seat with this point of view!

Don't Think Twice It's Alright

2007-07-28T21:49:00.000-07:00

The power of our intelligence easily overwhelms our intellect.Look at what man has done in the last 25 years. We have built spaceships that journey to the ends of our universe that can send back color photos! We carry devices that allow us communicate both voice and video to others all over the world! We continously stretch the borders of what we can only imagine!

Despite all of this intelligence, the one thing we struggle with is the ability "to think twice".We just were not wired to stop, think twice before submitting to our impulses.Thus, our closets are littered with items purchased on an impulse, our waitlines expanded from that piece of cake we just had to taste and sadly, we walk with the scars on our hearts from hurtful words spoken to us without thought being placed upon them before they were hurled at us.I often wondered what our Creator was thinking when he imbued us with this "impulsive" behavior.

This morning I headed out early to the supermarket to rent a carpet cleaner. I entered the store and passed by a shopping wagon marked "Items Reduced For Clearance". My quick glance stopped me cold in my tracks, the wagon was filled with candles! While I love candles, I already have enough to light St. Patricks Cathedral for a year! I noticed a nice small pack of tea lights. They were scented, ginger & pear, subtley delightful! There were 3 packs and I quickly scooped them up! A voice rang loud in my head.."PUT THEM DOWN!...They are the last thing you need, so put them down!" I rarely argue with my mind, and I put them back in the wagon. Another voice chirpped in "ARE YOU NUTS?... You were going to buy those candles a month ago at three times the price, pick them up NOW!" I reached back in the wagon and lifted them out. This prompted the first voice "YO MARC, What did you come here for? To rent a carpet cleaner...not to buy candles because they are on sale....PUT THEM DOWN!" Back into the wagon they went. This prompted the the second voice.."just remember, they won't be here when you finally realise that you want them!"... "Enough!" I muttered...this is crazy...I did an abrupt about face and headed straight to the service counter to rent the carpet cleaner....no candles.

The clerk greeted me and began preparing the paperwork for the rental. I happened to turn around and noticed a woman walking straight towards me with the three packs of tea light candles in her hand! My mind flashed,"oh no, she saw my little spectacle of " in and out of the wagon" and she is going to insist that I buy them" (I have a an imagination that runs wild...) She stands behind me and calls out to the clerk "can I pay for these here or do I need to stand on the cashiers line?" He smiled, "you can pay for them here, I will be ready to ring you up in a minute". The second voice summoned , "well, there they go.., no chance to get them now"... I watched the woman as she was smelling the packs....I smiled, "it's Ginger and peach scented, they are very lovely". "Oh, I don't care about the scent" she replied.."they are not for me....I work in a nursing home that has Alzheimers patients and I thought it would be nice to burn some candles....ya never know what a little atmosphere will do for them". My mouth fell open, my heart immediately warmed, "oh how wonderful of you!" I exclaimed. Her facial expression poised, she explained that the Nursing home does not have funds for such things, so when she saw these so deeply discounted, it was something she could take care of herself. "Bless you!" I said as I was interrupted by the clerk telling me my rental was ready.

As I exited the store, it became clear to me about the issue of why we were created with impulse and not wired to "think twice". When it comes to performing acts of kindness, charity and being selfless....we need to act on impulse! We should not think twice and ask "should I?"

May you all have those moments, where you don't think twice...cause it's alright!

Transformations

2007-07-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

Transformations

The seventh grade coincides with an awakening to puberty that makes for a very powerful transformation for any adolescent! Physical changes induced perceptual changes. Schoolyard conversations were migrating from who was the best ballplayer of the day to who was the prettiest girl in the school. In our school, there was no debate who the ugliest girl was. There was no one even comparable to poor “Miss M”. I even believe that “Miss M” knew that she could win that title. It was sad, and I often wondered why and how God could place a person in such a lowly position.

“Miss M” had a very light complexion that was sprinkled with thousands of red and pink freckles. We marveled at the quantity and the different shapes that had camped out on her face! Her hair was a short growth of frizz, and was a fiery orange…which of course brought out the freckle syndrome. She was topped off with a very large nose …which brings us to the opening act of this recollection.

During lunch break we would eat lunch in the schoolyard and the guys would go off and flip baseball cards, play a quick game of “flip the penny” or try to elevate their stature with intelligent conversation. Intelligence at the seventh grade level is measured by how gross a statement or insult you can make! I recall a few of those conversations regarding “Miss M”. “I swear I saw her pull a booger out of her nose that was as big as my thumb!” said one of the guys. “That’s why she’s so ugly, cause she eats those boogers”. I confess, there were times I chuckled at the insane remarks, but deep in my heart, I always felt sympathetic towards the day to day plight she lived.

I am not certain of the event, but I do remember returning to class after lunch and happened to look over to “Miss M” who sat a row away from me and few seats back. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she was clasping a tissue. She had been crying and was trying to hold back her tears. “Oh no” I said to myself, she must have heard the remarks that the guys were making about her. It’s funny how insults always traveled faster than the answers to Miss Goldberg’s math quiz.

The next day I told the guys that “Miss M” spent the afternoon crying, and asked if any of the insults were spread about. The guys seized the moment to turn on me, “oh so you like “Miss M”? They laughed. I defended my statement, “it’s not right, she knows she’s far from pretty, we shouldn’t get our laughs by rubbing it in her face!” I exclaimed. I startled myself; it was the first time I was sticking up for someone other than myself!

In a world where everything is “just and fair” these boys would have woke up the day with foot long noses and boogers hanging down like icicles. But no, I arrived at school the next morning to find a huge, chalk drawn, heart shape with both my name and hers in it! The guys laughed, “She’s all yours”.

The chalk drawn heart had a very short life span. As we exited the school that afternoon, we were surrounded by Dominic and his gang. Dominic was the “Soprano” of the school.

The gang cornered my friends, Dominic got very close in their faces. “If you knuckle heads ever draw anything on a wall where my name is on it, I’ll bounce your heads on the ground like a Spaulding ball! His entourage removed erasers from their back pockets and threw them at us. “Get this off the wall NOW” he demanded! My friends raised their bowed heads to notice that the heart with my name and “Miss M” was on the same wall as “Dominic & Anita 4 eva”. Dominic turned and looked at me, “and you….you get some taste”. Little did he know, I had a slight crush on Anita and she always had a smile for me.

The years passed. We all moved up, grade by grade. Fortunately, that period of insults was replaced by greater conversations, “which girls were the bad ones”, and “who I’d like to spend the night with”. Nobody even cared who the best ballplayer of the day was!

Enter “The Summer Of Love, 1967” . Like a wave, it covered and transformed each and every one of us. Our hair expanded on top of our heads like yeast filled bread. Our dungarees were bell bottomed, our shirts tie-died, our language transformed with words of “groovy, peace brother, and dig it.” We all returned to school and could barely recognize each other (except me, who still dressed as if he were an ivy leaguer). However, the biggest transformation was “Miss M”. Her bright orange hair, now fully grown into a very hip perm. Her heart shaped, oversized sun glasses fit nicely on her nose,(they dwarfed it!) and the freckles were now a unique accoutrement to the large plastic “peace sign” earrings that dangled from her ears. She walked down the halls with confidence; she was now flaunting her uniqueness! She was on all accounts, “groovy”!

Over the years we rarely spoke, but always acknowledged each other with a smile. I would get a chuckle when I would hear a guy mention her name with a desire of getting to know “the cute chick with the wild orange hair”.

I have often wondered about her transformation. Was this an answer to a mother’s prayer? Was Miss M’s” transformation a result of a friend taking her out for a makeover? Or, was this part of Gods plan, The Summer of Love, ushering us through a portal where we came out more loving, more compassionate and wearing flowers in our hair?

A girl, plagued at a tender age, having to carry an unbearable weight. Then being transformed so dramatically where her appearance and personality could take someone’s breath away! Imagine, one tiny insignificant person merging onto the highway of self confidence and self esteem…..flaming orange hair and all!

….To those that may be discontent with their appearance, feel like they are in a ugly relationship, or if they feel like they are facing life in the wrong direction, just remember, there is a highway up ahead ….merge on!

Hope always has a free ride….it’s Gods plan!

How to hold on to a dream

2007-06-29T21:54:00.000-07:00

At the tender age of 7, my parents divorced. The meaning of this was not my vocabulary. I was raised on a steady diet of images from a black and white T.V. set, living in the world of "The Donna Reed Show", "Ozzie & Harriet" and "Leave It To Beaver". Despite moving from L.A. to N.Y, I believed that at any moment, my father would be walking through the door.

I was already accustomed to waiting. He was a traveling salesman and was not a "household fixture"prior to the divorce. A few years passed, and he showed up a few times. The visits were always brief and integrated with a business call to a client. I never had his undivided attention.While I became accustomed to waiting, every once in awhile that feeling would get interrupted by friends who boasted of going to Yankee games with their Dads.

In the fourth year of the divorce,a clearer picture of the reality of the divorce was received. Both my parents remarried. I inherited a new stepdad and stepmom almost simultaneously. Nevertheless, I kept my eyes glued to the door, and waited. I was not waiting for him to come and turn my world right side up again, I was just waiting for that moment , where I could know him as my Dad.

My Mother was well aware of my feelings and thus arranged for me and my sisters (both older) to spend a summer (1962)with him and our new stepmom. My 11 year mind kept it simple for me, it was a chance to spend time with my Dad, visit my cousins, Aunt and Uncle and Grandma who also lived in L.A. and to be in the same town as the L.A. Dodgers! (I was a huge Dodger fan). I went to my shoebox of baseball cards and selected the top players of my collection, and slipped a rubberband around them. I packed my one and only favorite board game (called All-Star baseball) and told my Mom, "I'm ready". (I let her pack my clothes!)

She took us to the airport. There were no police, security guards or resticted areas. She was allowed to walk with us to the door of the plane and hand us over to the stewardess. The stewardess took me in the cockpit to meet the pilots, who showed off all the dials and handed me a plastic set of wings to pin on my shirt. We all saluted each other, and I was escorted to my seat. I may have been sitting, but my young spirit was flying!

My Dad greeted us with his big warm hug and carried our bags to his car. It was like a dream, being withmy Dad, in Los Angeles, Summertime. I sat next to him in the front seat of his Caddy. "You a Met Fan?" he asked. (It was the first year of the Mets). I made a face of disapproval, "they are the worst team ever!" I exclaimed. "I am a true blue Dodger fan...they are in first place ya know!" ... He laughed, and said.."well I wasn't sure, and I wanted to play it safe" as he pulled a pair of tickets from his shirt pocket ..."tickets for Friday nights game ...Mets Vs. Dodgers!' My mouth fell open, blood rushed to my head,I shrieked..." Oh My God!!!I'm going to see the Dodgers!!! ...at Chavez Ravine...Oh My God!!" I reached in my pocket and pulled out my deck of baseball cards and flipped through till I came upon Dodgers. Don Drysdale, Sandy Koufax, Murray Wills, Duke Snider....I was to see them at last!. My fathers voice broke in.."Now hold on to the tickets....O.K.!".....He handed them over to me, Bright orange tickets with the date June 29, 1962. (I still have the stubbs)

I was in his car no more than 5 minutes when I already declared that this was going to be the best summer that I would ever have!

"Dad?" I asked...."Have you ever heard of the board game "All Star baseball?".... Of course, he had no idea and did not know why I was asking..."Well, I brought it with me, and I was wondering if you would like to play it sometime?"

He smiled and said...."sure...afterall, we have the whole summer".

__________________________________________

Forty five years ago, to this very hour, I returned home that night from a game and a time that fulfilled a dream of mine, and I have learned...you only need to fill a dream once and it lasts an eternity in your heart.

Field Of Dreams...What you can't imagine, most often comes true

2007-06-18T20:31:00.000-07:00

With boys grown and out of the house, my mind slips back, around the corner....

To those who have dreamed upon the baseball fields, there can be nothing as elegant as the sight of a neatly cropped baseball field, with its white lines tracing a path from the batters box to the green grass of the outfield.

At the tender age of six, my fisrtborn sons addiction began. I was impressed at the valor he displayed while fielding ground balls that were taking wicked hops right at him! I was impressed with the courage he displayed at swinging at a ball thrown mightly in his direction! I was impressed with his energy scampering around the bases with a hard plastic helmet on his head that wobbled like a wounded wing of a bird!

It was my greatest pleasure to be able to coach him and the boys in the neighborhood on this field of dreams. Our abundantly eager appetites to play this game, made Spring the most heavenly season of them all! With each new Spring, new lessons were taught, new strategies were added to our arsenal. Curveballs and sliders were tweaked, pickoff moves precisely tuned, and diving catches perfected as we dreamed of snatching victory from the opposition in their last at bat.

The years rolled along, trophies and team photographs lined our hallway. Our conversations were a mixture of what he learned in school that day and a scouting report of who we were facing in the next game.

We traveled far and wide to meet the competition. It didn't matter where, just as long as there was a team and a field to play on.

The final Spring came, his Senior year in High School. We both knew that it was time to put the glove down and concentrate on a college and a career. My heart sank with the final out of his last game.It was a long and fabulous run. In the salt of tears was the sweetness of the memories that I was blessed with.

A few weeks after that last game,it was time for him to depart for college. The car packed with his belongings,gave me the sinking feeling of an exodous, not the joyful feeling of an adventure. Before we headed onto the highway, I pulled into the complex of ballfields where he played and I coached. I asked him to come out to the mound with me (he was a pitcher). As we headed out to the mound, I began playing a mini highlight reel of the many years we practiced and played there.The countless hours that we spent dreaming, hoping, laughing.

We reached the mound and we both looked around, this time, there was no battle to be fought, no stategy to be executed, just a father and his son. I began telling him how proud I was of him. That it was a joy and an honor to have had such a wonderful front row seat to his "field of dreams". I removed a small jar from my pocket and squatted down. My hand cupped some dirt from the mound. I stood up, removed the lid from the jar, and slowly poured the clay dirt into the jar. I gave the jar a little shake, smiled and said "that does it". Continuing with a baseball sized lump in my throat, "Being your Coach all these years gave me a very distinct advantage. Everytime I felt you about to falter, everytime I felt your disappointment with yourself I could call for time out and walk out to this mound. I could come out here and give you the words of reassurance and blow a little wind beneath your wings to carry you through. While you are in college, I won't have that privilige to call "time out". In this jar, I have collected the sand from every field that you have played and dreamd on. Your dreams are very alive in this jar. Keep this close at hand, let it serve as a reminder to you, of those that love you and will always cheer for you."

He smiled and read the inscription on the jar's label. "Every Spring there was a new season...a chance for us to watch you on your Field Of Dreams....Always dream!"

...............One the true blessings in life, What you can't imagine will happen , most often comes true.

At The End Of Two Roads

2007-04-23T19:01:00.000-07:00

I wrote this when I was 18 ( so many years ago)...its meaning has deepened with the passing of years........and even more so with the events of the past week......

At The End Of Two Roads

Two wanderers met at the end of two different roads. They greeted each other with a smile and began exchanging the tales of their long journey. "I was on the most awful road you could imagine" moaned the first wanderer. "All I saw was war, famine, illness, greed and hate". The people on that road were ruthless!...Why, I am lucky to even have made it out of there!"

The second wanderer waved his hand "that's nothing compared to te road that I journied on. My road was far worse! First, the streets, they were lined with gold. There were diamonds the size of your fist, everywhere! Trees were bent over with huge fruits.It was a horrible path to be on! Especially for such a long time!"

The first wanderer had an expression on his face of complete puzzlement. "What??" He questioned. "How could you possibly believe that the road you were on was worse than the road I was on?"

The second wanderer drew a thin smile and then replied "there was nobody on it."

.................................................................................................................

Now many years later, I look at this road we are all on...there is war, there is hatred, we have mad men killing our children, killing each other! I see illness and disease taking away the love of life from so many. Yes, this is a hard road indeed., but I have come to witness......that for every heart which is torn, there are a ten hands around that will try to mend it. For every person surrending their life there are 100 hands that want to carry it.For every soul that has lost its way, their are ten hands that want to guide it.

We are on a road that is paved with something that outshines diamonds and gold..we are on this road together!

I hope you see this before you reach the end of the road.

My thoughts go out to all whose lives are being affected by grief and despair...I hold my two hands together and pray.....

Peace....Marc :)

Binoculars hang from the head of Mule

2007-04-20T21:08:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a "black and white" world. Television sets and programs were in black and white, kitchen appliances were available in white only, All the colors of wheel were in an 8 piece box of Crayola Crayons.

A movie was released "The Mask" where you were handed a pair of 3 d glasses to watch the movie with. While viewing through the glasses, it seemed as if the characters were just a few feet in front of your nose! I was overwhelmed by this extraordinary technology! I was allowed to see something...that really wasn't there!

I held onto my souvenier glasses, believing that they might help me see other things that were not there! Ah! the imagination of an 11 year old! I kept the glasses in the top drawer of my desk. They were always ready at a moments notice. I used them to decode secret messages on cereal boxes, I used them to watch the black and white programs, feeling they gave color to the screen. A few years passed,and yes..late at night, when the house was asleep,...I used them to carefully view each image in my sacred copy of Playboy Magazine...making those women come to life! Superman had his cape, Marc had his glasses.

Time passed,and on one very hot July day, I was cooling off at the swimming pool that belongs to the apartment complex I lived in. I can recall enjoying the refreshing crispness of the cool water, and the big blue, cloudless sky above. The sun beaming its rays across the surface,making my eyes squint. My attention was drawn to the diving the board, where the most beautiful girl in my universe was standing. She called out to her friends below. "watch me!!...Look at this dive!" I stared, and could not believe what I was witnessing....I could see right through her pink and white bikini! I gasped, this was not a picture, I was not wearing those glasses, this was real! She jumped in the pool with a scream! I held on to the side of pool, closed my eyes and murmered, "please....jump off the board again!"

That was the first and only time she wore that pink and white bikini, perhaps her mother or her friends saw the same thing I did.I just saw it with a great sense of admiration and an acute sense of provocation!

Around that same time, my drawers were dumped.Many things I had carried with some type of childhood endearment were discarded...amongst them, those glasses.....the extra sensory powers that I had given to them had lost their significance. I was on my own...stepping into the threshold of adolesence.

Now, many years later, my glasses are back on....not the 3 d type, but binoculars...always keeping an eye on my past!

BLACK MAGIC WOMAN

2007-04-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

....Along came an afternoon when the college gave us one of those days off. She invited me over to her house to spend the aftrernoon. When I knocked on the door, she opened it just a crack and commanded, "close your eyes or I won't let you in". Always an obedient one, I shut them tight. In the next instant she was fashioning a blindfold over my eyes. Speaking softly, "don't worry, I have a surprise for you" she said. She took hold of my hand and instructed me to follow her. She led me a few steps and then said, "there is a chair right behind you, sit down!" Then continuing with her commands, "I will tell you when you can remove the blindfold".

There wasn't enough time to anticipate..this was so unexpected, like a person woken out of deep sleep. Then the sound of an erie organ chord began playing, the opening chords to Black Magic Woman by Santana..."OK, take the blindfold off!" I removed it and was simultaneously joined with the percusive beats of the song....and there she was...in a black leotard and black tights.....doing a modern jazz dance to the song!

Got a black magic woman
Got a black magic woman
Ive got a black magic woman
Got me so blind I cant see
That shes a black magic woman
Shes trying to make a devil out of me

A student of Modern Jazz dance, she sauntered, swayed, arched her limbs in a way that I had never seen.The suppleness of her feminity told me I was outmatched. A lump quickly formed in my throat, my rapid pulse kept it there.

On the last notes she moved ever so close to me, and with the finish she setlled herself in my lap., her arms lightly wrapped around me.

I applauded her with my smile.....the line of the song "make a devil out of me" resonated.

I invoked a French accent..."ooh la la, Pierre likes your dance very much... I have a Swiss Chalet with a fireplace...will this madamoiselle like to join me?".... She loved Pierre, a romantic, French Playboy character that I had invented ..who always promised her the finest that the world had to offer...."wee" would be her pat reply....."Then close your eyes and we'll be there soon."

...............................................................................

These moments quietly flicker, like candles, in the deep recess of my mind. So many years later I am left wondering, did she really put a spell on me....as the song goes...

Got your spell on me baby
Got your spell on me baby
Yes you got your spell on me baby
Turning my heart into stone
I need you so bad, magic woman
I cant leave you alone.

Well....at least I left her with "Pierre".........

APRIL FOOLS

2007-04-03T20:52:00.000-07:00

Many (many) years ago..................

She said "yes, Saturday night will be fine, what time will you pick me up?"

It was the girl that occupied 7/8ths of my mind for several weeks, courage and trust converged and she said "yes" to a date! My mind began to plan the night out on the town........

I was attending college classes in the morning and my afternoons and Saturdays were spent working in New York City. My workplace had me pass down the streets of Madison Avenue, where the stores that cater to wealthy are lined. My first move was to a fine mens clothing store where I was admiring this one shirt that was displayed in the store's front window (where the remaining 1/8th of my mind was at!).The shirt cost me the equivalent of two full days of pay, but do the math, 1/8 plus 7/8ths, it's a perfect fit!

My personal excitement ramped up as I showered, shaved and manicured myself from every angle, and finishing myself off with a touch of cologne. I carefully removed the pins from the gorgeous finely tailored shirt, and felt the new level of elevation it brought as I buttoned it up.

I made my way to her door, and knocked......the sounds coming off the wood door were mirroring the sounds coming out of my heart. She opened the door, her eyes twinkled with approval, and her smile...."Marc! wow.....Nice shirt" ..and then she winked. A smile and a wink.....I was done.

It was the first week in April, we went into New York City to see the movie "April Fools" starring Jack Lemmon and Catherine Denenuve. It was about two people who had everything except a fullfiling relationship, despite the fact that they were both married. The movie details their meeting and how they spent an evening "on the town" and quickly fell in love.

After the movie, we walked down the avenue of the romantically light town. I took her into a fine dining establishment , which because of the late hour, was nearly empty. The waiters catered to us, I'm not certain if they were getting a kick out spoiling two young adolescent diners or if my Madison Avenue shirt and shoes was telling them a big tipper was in the house!

The waiter came to our table and prepared from scratch, a Ceasar Salad (he even tossed in a raw egg...somehow we did worry about salmonella back then!). A piano player played an endless chorous of love songs, and we spent what seemed to be an entire night staring into each others and echoing smiles and laughter.

Every year at this time, my mind plays host to this warm and wonderful event from many years ago...

...I am tickled this night from long ago remains vivid. I have been rightly accused of having an imagination that runs wild, like some outlaw. ....And now I see this outlaw running faster, afterall, it trapped in a body that is surrounded by time...time that is passing.It knows that one day, these precious memories will lose some of their glimmer. Time is like a sheriff, the days are it's bounty hunters..I feel them coming after me....the law says....we must move on. So before this wild imagination gets captured, or gunned down in a shoot out...I will stash my loot of precious memories right here.

No matter how "far from my youth" I may wander....I'll know just where to find it!

CASTRADOS! (PAUL & HEATHER McCARTNEY)

2007-03-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

Just as I am deeply moved by the romantic melodies of Paul McCartney, my spirit vibrates with the works of Chopin, Mendolssohn and Mozart. Classical music takes me back..... AH!! but the times were no simpler for singers back then too!

I am reminded that in the early 18th Century, the Royalty were so overwhelmed by the opera arias (soloists that could reach a very very high note) that they would actually pay large sums of money to families that would have a young singer (always male)castrated !This would allow the young singers' voice to reach the highest plateau of perfection. These "Castrados" could sing Arias like no others and were placed in the finest living quarters and given the best education in the world. (It was like having a walkman). With their testicles removed, these boys could devote their young lives to singing. They were to have no other passions, nor interferences with their music.

Here we are 300 years later. While we have become more civil with cultivating our music, I look around and see how couples become so involved with the fullfillment of their own needs that they "cutoff" the dreams and hopes of their mates. In pursuit of obtaining the "high notes" one of the mates will often find the bounty of his or her expectations left at the alter. Unfortunately, what we ulitmately castrate is the potential of obtaining the simple pleasures that togetherness affords.

The title of Paul McCartneys new song was unknowingly given to him by Heather when he asked that she sign a prenupital agreement. "I'll sign your prenup, but when I leave, I'll have your balls" she gigled in his ear.

You'll find his new release intriguing..sung on a very very HIGH note!

All You Need is Love.

The Stileto Syndrome: The Rise & Fall of Port Wine Cheese

2007-03-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

I can recall the first time I tasted Port Wine Cheese. I was with a date and we were in a cafe that served cheese, wines and coffee in a very casual living room type atmosphere.

I was 21 at the time, and back then, the markets had a limited variety of cheeses. Port Wine and Cheddar, sounded so, decadent. We ordered it,and it was served with fresh fruits and an assortment of crackers, and of course our wine selection. Within moments of my first taste of this new variety of cheese, my entire state of consciuosness was elevated! I suddenly felt a little more mature, a little more "wordly and sophiscated". Beneath the Tiffany Lamp and the soft piano music playing lightly in the backround, I directed our conversation towards politics and other wordly matters. All this, from the taste of cheese.

Years have passed since. The markets are overflowing with cheeses and yes, Port Wine is now found everywhere. I just saw some being offered in 7-11 store, although it is packaged like a cream cheese spread (yuk). I have encountered this cheese more times than I care to count. I am no longer drawn to it in the way I once was. I no longer feel sophisticated beyond my years when I taste it.

Hold that thought.....

I once worked in an office that had a very tempermental lady working it. One day she would greet you with the smiles, the next day, she'd ignore you like you weren't there.Her ups and downs were faster than two Hippos on a see-saw!

Her redemption,......on certain days of the week, she would wear stiletos. Her overall appearence....was simply, average. Not very pretty,average body type, not curvey, or busty, not tall, not short....just average. For some reason, when she would walk through the office with those pointed heels....she seemed to have gained an edge in all categories.When she strutted through the office in those heels, how quickly I could forgive her cold shoulder and her biting remarks that she made just the day before.

So as I stare into my fridge, and notice that piece of Port Wine Cheese (from who knows when) and do not have the desire for it. I salute you ladies, with your magic slipper, how easily, one style of shoe can have a mood altering impact.

....Now I know why Prince charming was going so crazy to findCindarella, it was the stileto!

HIGH TEST

2007-03-04T20:34:00.000-08:00

I really enjoy being at the market early in the morning. The scents of freshly baked breads mix with floral arrangements, yield such a welcoming feeling to the store. Everything is glistening and new!

On this morning, the calm was was rippled by a woman briskly walking right past me. She was an elderly store employee, I admired the high energy in her walk. I just could not imagine what her hurry was. I reached the end of the aisle and there she was, holding a tray of small plastic cups filled with a beverage. She's in the twilight of her years and does not quite measure up to 5 ft in height. "Wanna try a new drink?" she asks , flashing a big smile with bright red lipstick painted on her lips. "It's a new energy drink, that is made from Green Tea and has a peachy flavor to it. It has vitamins and lots of good things in it to give you a boost. There are no harmful herbs or caffiene in it". I smile and say "sure" ad sip the new offering. It was a delightful blend of green tea and peach flavoring. the two distinctly different flavors played off of each other. The beverage was light and refreshing. I lifted the can off the table and examined the label of its ingredients which the woman had boasted about.

There on the front of the can, the words were quite clear "contains caffiene". "oops" I smiled to the woman, "it seems like this miracle drink does have caffiene in it". Her immediate reply without hestitation..."I never said it didn't have caffiene". Then continuing with her sales speech, "of course it has caffiene, that is what gives you the boost....what it doesn't have is those harmful things that you find in the other sports drinks...You know, the things that kill the athletes on the ballfield." My eybrows went up, crinkling my forehead..."Killing athletes?" I said bewildered, "what athlete died from a sports drink?" She looked me in the eyes and said.."Lew Burdette....the pitcher for the Milwalkee Braves" My eybrows flew up another notch, "Lew Burdette?, yes, I remember him, but he died last week at 81 years of age, he didn't die from drinking a sports drink". Once again she smiled with her big red lips, "I didn't say he died from drinking a sports drink, I just said, he was an athlete who died".

I lingered at the table for a moment not certain if I was losing my mind, ormy hearing. "Here" she said holding up another cup, "have another sample, you look like you could use it". As I swallowed the one gulp in that cup, she took a cup for herself and sent it down the hatch as if she was racing me. Simultaneously, we tossed our empty cups in the small wastebasket by her stand. I noticed that the wastebasket had quite a few empty cups in it. I looked around and realized, I was the only customer in the store. "This drink comes in 3 flavors and you know what is really good about it? You can drink it straight from the can or pour it over ice in a glass, either way, it's very refreshing!" She boasted with a big smile.

I reached over to the display and loaded two six packs into my cart. "Wow" she said, "two six packs, you must really like this stuff". I smiled back and said..."I am not sure how much I like it, but I know it would take 3 bottles or Merlot to get me as happy as you are!"

The stuff is quite good. I am on my 3rd can.

Oh, by the way, I am communicating this message telepathically ...I am not even near the computer...at this moment, I am doing the Samba on the treadmill while listening to the Gypsy spirited heated rythms of Sade!

How will I know when the music is over!

Precision Vs. Perfection

2007-03-03T21:39:00.000-08:00

My prayers of Peace go out the families in Enterprise Alabama. Their lives forever changed. The weight of grief they are carrying, unimaginable.

In watching the televised news report, my mind once again sent into a tailspin when one of the injured High School students asked, "what was God thinking?"

God, (or Our Creator) does not sit in the heavens with a joystick, and with a few flicks of the wrist, have a Tornado develop, or an earthquake collapse a city, or have your car rear ended.

So why create a "Garden Of Eden" only to have it's inhabitants assulted by the temper of Mother Nature? The answer, lies in our very own construction.

Scientists and Drs. have marveled over our network of arteries, veins, muscle and bone. We are a symbiotic series of systems (nervous, digestive, repoductive) that come together and allows us to sustain our species. Open up one of those "Human Body" books, and imagine if YOU were entrusted in making a human being! We are an amazing creation! Yet, with all of this precision, it takes only one cancerous cell, one micscopic virus or clot and all this precision comes tumbling down! What was God thinking??? To create something so very, very precise and yet, so imperfect! Precision is not perfection.

It is knowing how imperfect we are, how imperfect this world and Mother Nature is that should keep us thankful for each day. Living with a purpose that positively affects others is the thing that brings us a little closer to perfection!

So my answer to that puzzled young student who asked "What kind of God allows this to happen?" I answer, "the same God that created the Hope, and the Power to heal with Love". It's not the perfect answer, just a precise one.

I still pray...

The Meatball Sub

2007-03-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

The Meatball Sub ( this is what gets us through the day!)

At the age of nine and a half, my mother, a single mom of three children, saved her last dollars to send me and my two older sisters to a sleep away camp for the summer. It was a six hour bus ride to the campsite which was too far from home for my liking. At the midpoint of the ride, the buses pulled over and stopped at a roadside eatery. The camp had arranged with the eatery to provide box lunches for us. The soggy and tasteless sandwiches were hardly a comforting break from the boring bus ride. While silently picking around the sandwich, I noticed other campers walking around with fist sized burgers and huge subs! A camper sat down next to me with the most delicious meatball sub.

“Where did you get that?” I asked

“I bought it in the cafeteria. Who can eat that boxed stuff?” He replied.

I jumped up, ran inside the eatery and saw a sign that hanging high on the wall. Meatball Sub……. 75 cents. My mom had sent me off to camp with five dollars . In those days that could buy you forty Milky Way bars and twenty sodas! The five dollars was to be my canteen spending money for the summer. I decided to pass on the sub, but the sight of it, had left an indelible mark on my mind.

During the next eight weeks of camp, with each tasteless meal came the thought of that tantalizing meatball sub! I removed three quarters from my pool of wealth and set them aside for the ride back home. That would be my reward and treat for being so thrifty!

The last day of camp arrived, and during the bus ride home I could only think about that meatball sub! The bus arrived at the eatery and pulled over. The counselors advised that the box lunches would be served.

“No way” I uttered as I briskly made my way into the cafeteria. I can still recall that feeling of pride as I grabbed a tray and slid it along the rails and announced my order to the cook “a meatball sub please!”

As I walked away from the cashier my eyes were fixed on the tray in my hands with that glorious meatball sub on it, smothered with a bright red sauce! I wanted to indulge myself in privacy so I headed for a table outside the eatery. I remember approaching the big glass doors that led to the outside. In the next instant, I was sprawled out on the floor with a terrible pain on my head! While exiting, someone had slammed the giant glass door on me and it hit me on the head! People came to my aid and escorted me to a table. Someone placed an ice pack for the lump that was quickly forming on my head. No sooner than they had placed that bag on my head, one of the older campers appeared before me with a brand new meatball sub.

“I don’t have enough money to pay for it” I whimpered.

“Don’t be silly” came the sweet reply, “this is yours, enjoy it!”

What makes me remember this incident so clearly forty years after it happened? What is so important about this? It is incidences like these which seem so small, but in reality they carry the larger lessons of life. Had I never walked into that door, the meatball sub would have vanished from thought, but it was the act of kindness that was so dearly expressed to me that I remember the most. From there I learned, there can be no act of kindness that is too small!

Some say that we learn how to be kind to others. The truth is, the kindness is already within us, it just waits for the moment to get out!

Bon Apetit my friends!

Misplaced Luck

2007-02-15T20:46:00.000-08:00

While checking out the winning lottery numbers in todays paper, uttering that same chant, "please, please, luck find me", an article next to the numbers grabbed my attention.

"Tainted Jars of Peanut Butter being recalled" The article explains that 300 people have been stricken with salmonella poisoning from tainted jars of Peanut Butter. Jars beginning with the number 2111......

I made a dash for the pantry cabinet, picked up a recently purchased jar and read the numbers 2111.....Wow, I've got one! A jar of peanut butter loaded with salmonella!!

At that moment my wife entered the kitchen....."we win the lotto or do I have to go to work today?" she asked with her sacastic chime. "While we didn't win the lottery, we do have a tainted jar Peanut Butter" I proudly replied. "Well, that figures" she continued with the sarcastic chime...."you can't pick the winning lottery numbers but you can pick the jar with tainted peanut butter...whoopie!"

"Well, look at it this way....we could of had made that Thai salad with Spicey peanut Dressing last night and today...we both would not have been going to work!"

Luck....we all get it, not just in the way we want it!

Marc :)

The Circle Game

2007-01-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite photos is situated in the middle of a large wall collage of photos that hangs on the wall. It's not a family portrait, nor some posed shot at a milestone family gathering. It is a photo of my three sons, at the ages of two, five and eight. Three beautiful squeaky clean smiles peering out of a shower stall door that is just opening.

What makes this photo so dear, is the timing of the photo. Just staring at it I am swept back to those days and that hour of the day...."O.K. boys, dry yourselves off and hop into your pajamas...I'll meet you in bed for your bedtime story!" Through the door, I could hear their excitement...."oh boy, I hope he tells us a good one"....

They were still small enough to fit on one bed and curl up around me. A chorus of requests would eminate, "tell us the Toys R Us story," "tells us the story when we got Locked in McDonalds" "tell us the story when we were shrunk and put into a video game"......No, you won't find these stories in your Storytime books....Every once in awhile, I would hand sew a night time tale to custom fit their imaginations. "The aiplane story"!....yes, that was one of their most requested......My, how they loved watching airplanes taking off and landing at the airport! In this particular story, I had taken them to the airport for an afternoon of watching. While there, they wandered onto a jetliner that was idle. They sat in cockpit musing at the hundreds of dials and switches. The older boys dared the younger one to flip a switch. The youngest flipped the switch and the door to the jet closed. "Whoa, better flip it back" they beckoned. When the youngest did, the engines of the jet began to turn..........and each subsequent flipping, the wheels were set in motion for taking off........till, they finally did!

The story continued, how I grabbed a pilot and we jumped on another plane and took off after them! We lined up the planes , wing to wing, and I described how I would open the door to walk across to get into their plane. My five year old would always ask..."dad, would you really walk on the wing on of a jet at 25,000 feet high to save us?" "yes" I would smile.."that's how much daddy loves you".....(sneaking in my ultimate message!)... I boarded their plane and took them in for a safe landing. "Did you punish us?" The oldest would ask...."No T.V. or nintendo for a year!" I firmly stated. The little one would pout, but it wasan accident, we didn't mean to fly the plane"...."I know" ....."and while no one got hurt, ...you did wander off away from Daddy....so, that's in part what the punishment is for"....

The scent of their freshly washed hair, their skin so soft, their heartbeats so tender, we would lay a few minutes more before each one was escorted off to his own bed. They would close their eyes knowing they were protected, and loved beyond measure.

I don't think I have known anything so eloquent as those moments.

I look at that photo, and do not say "what a shame those moments could not last" but rather, I muse, "what a shame it would have been, had I not had one of those moments"

and the wheel spins round......

Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when youre older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we con only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round, in the circle game. Joni Mitchell

Did You Ever Have To make Up Your Mind?

2006-12-30T20:42:00.000-08:00

There I was, in the supermarket aisle staring at the offering of room scents. Did I want my bathroom smelling like an Evergreen Forest, an Ocean Breeze, a Rain Forest Mist, a Vanilla Rose, or a Lavendar Boquet? At that moment of great indecision, an old tune by the Lovin' Spoonful played over the music system.

"Did you ever have to make up your mind?/ To pick up on one and leave the other behind? It's not always easy and not often kind/ Did you ever have to make up your mind?"

I chuckled to myself.... suddenly realizing the world that we live in has placed us in a non-stop decision making mode. I had 12 fragrances to choose from for my bathroom! That is only the beginning! Rice? Do you want Jasmine, basamati, Long Grain, Saffron, Wild or Brown? Got Milk? You want regualar, low fat, non fat, soy, milk with acidolphulus,lactose free, vanilla, chocolate or strawberry flavored? Coffee Creamer? Let's not even go there! Every aisle, begs you to ...MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

My mind continued....and when I get out of here, I will pass by McDonalds, Wendys, KFC, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Starbucks and Dairy Queen. And....when I get home, I will have to choose from 100 channels on cable or 120 listening channels on XM radio!

The song played...."did you ever have to finally decide, pick up on one and let the other one ride"......"ONE" I exclaimed....there is no such thing as leaving "one" behind, not anymore....now when I decide, I'm leaving a whole army behind!

I proceeded to checkout line, not knowing why I decided to allow this issue of "deciding" to overrun the calmness of this afternoon. The cashier smiled, "$45.56....will that be cash, check or charge?"......I half grinned.....pulled my debit card from my wallet...."it's a debit" I replied. I swiped the card.....the small machine now took over and asked "credit or debit?" I clicked "debit" "enter your pin #" it prompted..... "is 45.56 correct? yes? No?........."geez" I muttered..when will this stop...I selected "yes"...."Cash back? Yes? No? It asked.....My eyes bulged, with my now warming blood.....as I responded with "no", I closed my eyes....took in a deep breath, and calmed myself....."there will be no more decisions for the rest of the day. I will not allow myself to be confronted....from this moment on I am freeing myself from choice...."SIR!!" came the loud voice breaking my 10 second meditation....I opened my eyes....the bag boy staring at me..."Sir" his voice raised..."Paper or Plastic?"..I smiled and replied...."whatever you decide will be just fine!"

As we move forward into a New Year....a year that automatically renews our suscription to millions of decisions, I wish for you, a kinder and simpler year. A year that you can count on what you have, and smile at...what you left behind.

Peace and Blessings....Marc :)

FRED ASTAIRE & GINGER ROGERS (Dancing Cheek To Cheek)

2006-11-11T20:15:00.000-08:00

Everybody loves to watch Fred and Ginger! The enjoyment of watching this dancing duo has transcended generations!

What is the real allure there? What is so wonderous about their act that we are compelled to watch it again and again?

Their dance resonates with the very thing that we all seek to have with another partner. It's called "harmony". The ability for our heart to move and act similarly with the heart of another. To be able to react to the music of life simultaneously. This is so endearing to us. We all love watching it, as we subconsciously know, how difficult it is to obtain/maintain. We always want our partner in unision!

There is, one step above being in perfect harmony with your partner, and that is being in perfect harmony with yourself. To be able to dance with your soul....as Fred danced with Ginger! Its not an easy dance to learn,the tendancy to lose balance and stumble is quite common, but there should be no shame in that...unless you refrain from getting back up on that dance floor!

The night is young....time to dance! Grab your Soul for one more spin!

__________________________________________________________

I'm heaven, I"m in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When were out together dancing, out together dancing
Out together dancing cheek to cheek

Pervis,Gaddis & Zippy

2006-09-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

The back of my house is located on a canal. Each morning I step outside, retrieve my fishing rod from the shed and cast my lure out. It’s a meditation in motion. A few weeks ago a large peacock bass followed my lure and at the last moment turned and swam away, kicking at the surface as it did so. “Nervous?” I would call out. “What are you scared of…just take a bite!” This fish has made several repeat appearances, and thus I have given it a name, Nervous Pervis.

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Another character that swims by, is a large catfish. I am not interested in catching it, but I do muse at its age, I am certain if it could talk, it would have many tales to tell. I have named this fish “Gaddis”. Many years ago, one of the first sports fishing shows on TV was hosted by a very talkative fisherman, Gadabout Gaddis. Also frequenting my mornings is a small blue gill that zips around. Like that catfish, I have little interest in landing that blue gill, but I do admire its energy.Thus,he has earned the name, Zippy.

Last week my son visited from college. His trademark is to leave something behind and once he has returned to his dorm, he’ll call and ask if I can mail it out “next day”! On this occasion he left behind his favorite lure, “the wounded minnow”. For me, I just don’t see why a fish would even give this thing a second look, but my son swears by it as if it had magical power.

This morning I decided to change, I clipped off my old lure and tied on my son’s favorite, the wounded minnow. My first cast out, I slowly retrieved, a huge splash, and my rod was bent in half! It was Pervis! Thunderbolts of excitement went through my arms as I fought to reel him in. Just as I he neared, he gave one final strong tug and then…..the line broke! He was gone,,,with my sons wounded minnow lure firmly hooked in its mouth!

There was a deafening silence …silence that comes with disbelief, shock and disappointment. I stared into the water….and became part of it.

“Whoa there Pervis, what’s your hurry?...and what the heck is that hanging from your lip?” inquired Zippy. Thrashing a bit, Pervis replies, “my lip? Why is something hanging from my lip?” “Yes, Pervis, you got something there…hold still and I’ll get a closer look” Zippy slowly swims closer….”hmmm….hmmm…oohhh..eeEEEKKs!”Zippy shrieks…”it’s a lure!” “A lure??” questions Pervis, “what the heck is a lure?”

“A lure is a one of those fake fish that has sharp hooks in and when they grab you, you get pulled out of the water by these monsters that live outside the water!”

Pervis’s eyes bulged. “What do the monsters do when they catch you?”

“They eat you!” chimed in Gaddis, the catfish who now was on the scene. “Let me see what you’ve gotten yourself into” Gaddis swam closer to Pervis to investigate.

“Oh that is bad, those hooks are in your lip, they’re in solid” Gaddis officially remarked.

“Pervis swam nervously in a circle, “oh my, now what, now what am I going to do? I’ve got this lure on my lip for life!..How am I going to eat?”

“Ya know,” piped in Gaddis, you’ll just have to become a vegetarian”

“Vegetarian!!” exclaimed Pervis, “No way!..C’mon guys, give me a hand here, help me, please!”

Gaddis and Zippy swam off and could be seen having a discussion between them. They slowly swam back.

Zippy spoke, “We think we have come up with the only possible solution”.

Gaddis then took over, “This guy that tosses the lures in here, I’ve seen him come here everyday. I don’t think he’s really a monster. I have seen him catch us fish, and then toss us back.”

“Toss us back?” said the puzzled Pervis. “Why catch us and then toss us back, what a waste of time!”

“I don’t know” continued Gaddis. “As far as I can make out, anyone who lives outside the water is crazy.Anyhow, this is our plan. When he comes here in the morning he will be tossing out that lure that you have been following, this time, bite into it”

“Are you nuts!” shrieked Pervis, “and get hooked again?”

“Will you let us finish?” Zippy bust out..then continuing Zippy said,”bite on the lure, this time ease up on your thrashing……he’ll pull you in….and he’ll be so darn happy to get both his lures back , for sure he will set you free.”

“And, what if he decides to keep me…to eat me?” asked Pervis.

“Talk to him…grant him three wishes” laughed Zippy.

The three fish burst out in laughter! “That’s the oldest trick in the book” laughed Gaddis. “Fisherman believing if they toss fish back in the water something good comes their way”.

“Well”, continued Gaddis….its either bite the lure or become a vegetarian, you decide”.

Later in the afternoon I spoke with my son. “Dad, I can’t believe you lost my wounded minnow lure” he said with great disappointment in his voice. “Don’t worry” I said..… “I have a feeling that I’ll be getting it back by tomorrow.”

Yes, I’ll have his lure…and three more wishes to ponder!

You Gotta have Heart!

2006-09-28T17:47:00.000-07:00

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Fifteen years ago on a cool September afternoon, my 10 year son and I went to the baseball field to work on his pitching form. He was not in his teams “rotation’, but I had assured my son, with practice his turn would come.

After a few minutes into our routine a half-pint sized kid appears by the dugout. Dressed in catchers gear, he calls out “nice throwing, pitcher!” I looked over at this kid who was considerably smaller than my son. “So, you’re a catcher?” I asked. “Yup..and if you don’t mind, I’ll catch your son and you can go down to second base and I’ll throw a few down to you. I chuckled to myself while admiring this young boy’s gusto.

My son had made a few throws, when in the distance I could hear a mans voice call out, “whoa, what do we have here, another Nolan Ryan in the League?” He was a middle aged guy with a salt and pepper beard, wearing a torn t-shirt and shorts that were riddled with holes. “NICE THROW KID” he yelled out.His voice with such enthusiasm, it sent chills down my spine! He was carrying a giant equipment bag on his shoulder, and let it fall to the ground. He walked briskly towards me while not taking an eye off of my son. “whoa kid, you keep throwing like that and one day you’ll be selling your autograph!” He extended his hand out to me, “howdy, I’m Bill Riggans, coach of the Dodgers. We have a scrimmage game today against Quackenbush. Your son throws nicely; does he pitch in our league?” I explained that he was on a team that already had 4 pitchers, so getting a turn on the mound was not easy. “Well, that shouldn’t be” he commented. “Well, I have a scrimmage game in an hour, how about if he starts on the mound for my team?” My jaw dropped, “start?....won’t your parents object to seeing a strange kid start on the mound” “Heck, he answered, “if any of the kids on my team could throw half as good as your son, they would start….” My pride had to be showing, “thanks, sure, he’ll be ready to start for you.” I walked over to my son and explained to him that his chance had come. I told him to stay with the coach while I raced home for his athletic cup, a baseball jersey and a bottle of Gatorade.

My wheels schreeched as I pulled up the driveway. “Where’s Adam? My wife quizzed. “I left him at the field, he’s with the Dodgers, the coach, Bill Riggans thinks he’s the next Nolan Ryan and wants him to start on the MOUND in an hour.” I was back in the car when the word “hour” reached her ears.

When I returned to the field my son was in the dugout with the rest of his new teammates. As I handed my son a bag with his things, I casually asked if he had told Shawn Riggans, the catcher, his different pitches. Shawn piped out, “yeah, its all taken care of, 1 is a fastball, 2 is a change up 3 will be high and inside” “High and inside?” You want him throwing at the batters head?” I asked. “Yeah, cause the next pitch will be coming down the middle of the plate, but the batter will be too shaken to even swing…don’t worry Mr. I’ll take care of the batters”. I could barely believe what I was hearing, psychology from a 10 year old catcher who needed extra bungee cords to keep the mask and chest protector from sliding off his small frame!

Shawns plan worked. Adam pitched splendidly and looked like a genius with Shawn calling the pitches. After that day, word got back to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Adams coach, and he finally did geta turn to pitch!

The next season, Coach Bill picked up Adam in the draft. Bill and I coached baseball together, and the park was not the same for the next 6 years. Bill and I have remained best of friends, and our memories of the days on the baseball diamond have sustained through good times and the bad.. My son Adam, had a fine little league and High School baseball career. Shawn….. Shawn’s growth was slow in coming, and while he made the H.S. baseball team he was used as bullpen catcher. He had six at bats in H.S. While this may have bothered Shawn, he pressed on. His work ethic, relentless.His heart, filled with this dream of playing baseball!

On September 6th of this year Shawn Riggans got his turn. He was called up to play in the Majors by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. This “half-pint”, grew ,and has now had more at bats in the major league than he had while playing H.S.!! He has played in Yankee Stadium, hit ground balls fielded by Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez.

Not all wishes and dreams come true. But, without a heart filled them what would this world be like!

Way to go Shawn! Game against Boston Today!

HILDAS BRA--- SELFISHNESS SPOILS LIFES PROTOCOL

2006-09-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

I worked for a company that each year, the week prior to Christmas, they would order in lunch for all the employees. Each day of that week a different food was ordered in. There was always plenty to go around, and the left overs were quickly scooped up who get excited over "free food".

On the last day of the week, a Chinese buffet was always brought in. This would really get Hilda going. Hilda was short, stocky , large breasted dame that loved Chinese food! She had been known to charge the line, pile up a mountain of food, only to return to the food line moments later! "Where does she put it?" we would laughingly ask.

There is a marvelous protocol that we are all born with. This "protocol" has us instinctively care for and protect our young. This "protocol" will have us jump when we hear another human cry in pain. This "protocol" will have our hearts open up and share with others who are less fortunate. The only thing that disrupts this "protocol" is selfishness. It's a selfish love that disrupts the simple logic of our nature. Thus chaos gets invited to the picnic.

Hildas love, her selfish love of Chinese food which forces her to get on line, again and again, and have us wonder about that sagging bra she is wearing, is proof enough how our love, when executed with selfishness spoils the wonderful protocol that we were blessed with!

I guess her husband always looked forward to that sweet and sour breast of chicken!

Confessions Of A Window Shopper

2006-08-31T16:50:00.000-07:00

It's a favorite American pastime, window shopping! We are addicted to the sensations at the mere sight of luxurious items displayed in windows, showcases and show rooms!

"Oh honey, look at the diamond necklace!" "That Mink Coat looks heavenly!" "Oh my, I can see myself in that Ferrari"

How unfortunate that the mink that surrendered its life to make that coat never got to hear all the "ohhs & ahhs". How unfortunate that the jeweler who spent a week of his life laboring on that necklace will never see the smiles his workmanship yields. How sad, that a mother of four, who sleeps on a grass mat, will never know the ectasy that is felt when someone sits in the leather seat she hand stitched that went into that Ferrari.

The more adavanced we become with technology and our global industrialization, the more distant are the "ohs&ahs". However, I am reminded of my fondest "window shopping" adventure, and that is, walking outside and watching nature. Chilren playing, a dog, a sunrise, a sunset, a smile, flowers..........each vision so fine and exquisite in its construction......all made by one hand. I trust, the "ohs& ahs" I emit in the form of a thankful prayer, are heard and happily received by its maker!

"oh & ah" often.....He loves hearing from you!

Peace~~~Marc :)

JAVIER & JUANITA (The Sands of Cabo san Lucas)

2006-08-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

Javier & Juanita ( The Sands of Cabo San Lucas)

Tonight the moon is full. As I look out the window, I notice one of my jars of sand, labeled Cabo San Lucas. I collect sand from beaches everywhere. Many of the small samples are from beaches that friends have visited and have sent to me. The one from Cabo San Lucas was from a woman I had some business dealings with. She went to Cabo San Lucas for some relaxation and with the hope that she would find romance in the great resort area.

I had received the jar of sand with a note from her. Her note was brief, “got lots of rest, no romance…and you, you get your sand! Enjoy!”

While I was touched by her remembering to collect and send me the sand, I was sorry that her ultimate wish was not fulfilled. I needed to thank her and remind her that the “search” should have as much excitement as the discovery. and that an unfilled desire should only be the fuel to continuing hoping! This was my note to her.

Dear Nina,

Your precious gift of sand has certainly made my day, but the news of your returning “empty hearted” has provoked me……

Javier & Juanita

Javier was a young man that lived on a small farm near Cabo San Lucas. One year his crop was so bad that he could not pay the mortgage he had on the farm. The bank served him with a notice that he would be evicted. On the night before his eviction, he and his loving wife, Juanita, went to the beach at Cabo San Lucas. Beneath the full moon and a night filled with stars they fell into the sand and made passionate love. During those enflamed moments, Juanita clutched a handful of sand and squeezed it from her ecstasy. In that small handful of sand was an oyster and the folklore has it, that the heat from Juanita had caused the oyster to expel a huge beautiful pearl!

The next morning they took this beautiful huge pearl into town and found it to be worth more money than they needed to save their farm! They were rich! Word of this quickly spread. Fisherman came by day and cast their nets along the shore hoping to catch an oyster! Lovers came at night and recreated the passionate lovemaking scene they had heard about, hoping the same great reward would come as a result of their passion!

Javier seeing this crowd come, day and night, set up a small refreshment bar. People from all over flocked to his bar to hear him recall that night which had changed his fate!

And you thought the beach at Cabo San Lucas was only good for sunbathing! Well, thank you for your gift of sand…..and in the event you are wondering, there was no oyster in that bag you sent. As they say at Javier’s Bar, “Aw shucks!”

Warmest regards, Marc

As I lift this small jar, the tiny grains of sand sparkle in the moonlight night, just like our hopes. And I muse, as long as we have hope, we all sparkle!

"CHE"

2006-08-08T18:04:00.000-07:00

…In 1970 I purchased my first car. A 1960 Rambler, also known as the “box”. For those of you who have never seen this particular model, I suggest looking up this piece of folk automobile history.

The first upgrade this faded grey auto got was an 8 track player. Nothing could be more sublime than driving down the streets of New York City with Bob Dylan, Phil Ochs, and Richie Havens blasting out the open windows, wailing their songs of peace and anti war sentiments.

Yes, in 1970, it was all about making a statement! I soon felt that the music was not enough; after all, everyone that drove had an eight track stereo and was blasting music. On a beautiful fall weekend, I collaborated with an art student and together we attempted to paint a huge smile on the trunk of the car. Bright red lips, stretching from the left rear light to the right light! The bright red lips were “my statement”. Many things come from lips, words of love…a sweet smile, or a tender kiss!

We spent a few moments admiring our work when I noticed how terribly faded the front of the car was. On the sides of the front headlights we wrote in an Old English font “CHE” (Latin for “short and chubby”). Satisfied with our artwork we decided to give CHE a test ride.

Down the street we drove. Some of the cars tooted us and people were blowing kisses at my female companion, others raising their fists and chanting, “Viva Che Gueverra”. Che Gueverra? I asked, who is Che Guevara? “Oops” she smiled, I think Che Guevara helped Castro with the overthrow of the Cuban regime. “Groovy”! I exclaimed, as I turned up the stereo and allowed Bob Dylan’s “rainy day woman” to come pouring out the windows. I was thrilled! In a time when people wanted to be heard, to have their feelings made visible….I was doing it! In the following days I drove that car and enjoyed the attention it brought…..till one day my sister needed to use the car! (She helped me finance the purchase). "Do you know who Che Guevarra is?" I used as my defense as she threatened to call her loan in. Screaming back me with her high pitched voice of anger,"I don't care who he is, but I'm sure every guy in Brooklyn that has pulled up next to me while I am stopped at a traffic light and blows kisses at me, doesn't give a sh*t about Che Guevarra!"

The road of life……drive that car as far as you can!

The Ice Cream Cone

2006-07-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

To those of you wonderful j-landers who expressed a concern about my whereabouts, I thank you ..... and even if you gave just a passing thought , I thank you for having that thought as well!

I have been faced with many serious issues over the past months.....I had to give this journal ....writing, answering your wonderful comments and reading other jounals a rest.

A few months ago my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It has since spread very fast and he is now very close to passing on. I have been placed at the threshold of many emotions I never could conceive. Today he has an appointment with his Dr. and I know, the prognosis of this visit will not be good (being admitted to Hospice is at hand).

And so, with this moment and this need to reflect, I wish to share..... The Ice Cream Cone<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

One of my favorite photos in my album is that of my 4 year old son holding an ice cream cone that I had just placed in his small hand. The photo captures his purely innocent expression of gratitude and joy. Viewing this photo takes me back in time, when I was four.

The large ball balanced upon a cone and being placed in my tiny hand for my own personal consumption, was redemption! Nothing could come close to that creamy confection in making my world seem so wonderful. Not my two fondest possessions, my cartoon character underwear and my Superman T-shirt could bring me to that level of satisfaction!

More importantly, it was where the ice cream was coming from, my Dad. In that small instant of my life, he was the ultimate Hero! Without him speaking, I could hear his pleasure in handing me the ice cream cone. I may have been too young to understand, but not too young to feel it as a moment of shared joy. As the sweetness seemed to melt within me, I was transformed from a world of lectures and warnings. I was removed from a platform of expectations. The ice cream cone in my hand was like a magic wand that just let me be me.

The years passed, and the distance between my Father and I widened. The expectations we had of each other missed the mark. Our geographies changed, restricting when and how often we could meet. The business of life mutually disabled us to manifest a father/son relationship.

A lifetime of years has passed since then, and while there is long list of wonderful memories we did share, the ones that standout is when he came to my rescue. Transporting me from an ordinary day, by taking a moment and making it special. If there was ever a time when he seemed so tall, so knowledgeable, generous and understanding, it was the time he handed me that ice cream cone.

I stare at that photo of my son about to take his first lick, and he, not knowing that mound of ice cream would be frozen in time with all the love, joy and peace that was in the handing of it to that small hand!

Wishing Peace to all......make a moment for someone, it is the only thing that is guarenteed to last an eternity!

Marc :)

The Cow

2006-04-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

A very wise man told me this tale which has such a rich lesson that one may use for guidance from the dark hallways we so often find ourselves walking through.

Long ago, there lived a couple on the outskirts of the city. They lived in an old broken down house and their sole possession was a cow. This cow gave them milk to both drink and to make cheese. The extra milk from the cow would be traded for other needs they had.

One day, a well known "man of cloth" and his disciples were passing by this house. The great spiritual leader stopped by the house, walked up to the door and knocked. When the poor man opened the door he could not believe who was standing before him! The Spiritual leader explained that he was en route to a Holy tribunal in a another city and would it be possible if he and his disciples could be fed a meal and be put up for the night.

The poor man still overwhelmed by the presence of this wise and holy leader responded with "yes, of course, absolutely, with pleasure I shall feed you and provide you with a bed to sleep in for the night!" He opened the door and allowed the entourage to enter. The poor mans wife hearing this, pulled him to the side, "have you lost your mind?" she whispered with puzzlement. "What do you think we have to offer them aside from some old cheese and milk?" He smiled at her and said, we will give them a fine dinner and they will shower us with their blessings. Now I must go, I have some work to do." The old man excused himself and said he would soon return.

After some time elapsed the old man appeared at the door of house, carrying in his arms two large sacks, filled with the finest meats, wines and breads that the city had to offer! "Here!" he boasted to his wife, we have some cooking to do, our guests will be treated to one the finest meals ever!" Completely puzzled she asked, "how in the world did you pay for all of this?"..He smiled, "I sold the cow."

The meal was glorious, yes , one would say it was fit for a king. The spiritual leader had a huge appetite. he ate, and ate, and drank the wine. He ate some more and drank the last drop of wine. All the food was gone! The Spiritual Leader got up from his chair and exclaimed that it was the best meal he has had in a long time. He expressed his appreciation and then said that he decided he did not want to lose any time, so he would continue to travel on through the night. He packed up with his disciples and left.

The old man dared not show any sign of disappointment, as they were hoping to receive some Spiritual lessons from their guests. The old house was now quiet. The wife looked at the empty plates and bottles. "Everything is gone" she cried. "What are we going to eat tomorrow?" she asked her husband. Realizing he made a terrible mistake, he became very angry and upset with himself.."what was I thinking? I have sold our cow, we have nothing and it's all my fault!" He began to cry and ran outside into the forest and continued with his shameful crying. The old man stumbled through the woods and his weeping was interrupted by the sounds of another cry. It was a very well dressed man, who was laying on the ground sobbing. "Sir, are you alright?" said the old man. Continuing he asked," tell me where you live, I will go there and get help for you." The well dressed man on the ground was gasping for air, and with shallow breaths, he explained that he did not want his family to know where he was. He told the old man that he was extremely wealthy, but his family only loved him for his wealth. "If I didn't have a penny, they wouldn't care if I was dead or alive". He vowed that as retribution for their false behavior, they would not see one penny from his estate."But you" he continued gasping, "a complete stranger and you are willing to help me for nothing in return". He pulled the old man close to him and whispered in his ear the location of a buried fortune..."take it" he moaned.."you deserve more than they", and with that the wealthy man died.

The old man buried the wealthy man and said a prayer. Then he went on to retrieve the buried treasure.

Two years passed and the Spiritual Leader and his disciples were passing down that same road of where the old broken down house was. The House was no longer there. In its place was huge mansion, beautifully landscaped. As the Leader and disciples watched, the doors of the mansion opened and out walked the poor old man with his wife. They were dressed like royalty and they were stepping into beautiful horse drawn carriage!

The disciples were puzzled..."is this the same couple we visited two years ago, who had not a penny to their name?" they asked the Leader. "Yes" smiled the wise one. "How did this happen?" they asked. The leader continuing with his smile replied "I made them sell the cow!"

__________________________________________________________________

......You can never know who you are, till you let go of who you were.

...............The best of who you are, is what you are always becoming.......

Marc :)

Dreams

2006-03-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

While walking the dogs, they stopped at their favorite tree to irrigate it. I happened to look up and notice a kite dangling from a low branch. The tail hung down just low enough for me to be able to reach it and release it from its capativity. Instaneously, I was reminded of the many Sunday afternoons that I would fly a kite with my sons. Watching the kite soar and float so high against a clear blue sky was always a joyous sight to behold. We would for an afternoon, and as the winds would let up, the kite would become a victim of branch. The kite would always be torn beyond repair.Its not that the tree acted in malice, it just happened to be there.

I held this kite observing its unreversible damage, and suddenly I was overcome with a whole other perspective.......my mind wandered back to a time and place that is rarely frequented.......

I was in my Senior year in High School, it was a Friday and my friends had arranged for a beach blanket night party near Coney Island Beach. Six guys packed in car, headed off to the beach with a giutar, blankets, a pack of cigarettes, lighter fluid to set a beach fire and a bunch of dreams about meeting some new babe! One of the guys in our group had asked his cousin from a distant neighborhood, to bring her girfriends to the beach, the thought of meeting new faces was exciting!

We found our spot at the beach, and set up camp. Once the fire was going strong, out came the guitar, the cigarettes and then the songs...."Puff The Magic Dragon", "Blowing In The Wind", "Catch the Wind" , "California Dreamin'.".....As the guys began "pairing off with the girls" I decided it was time to take a solo walk along the shorline and commune with Mother Nature. The slow rolling of waves, the scent of the night mixed with the cool ocean was the perfect partner for me. On my way back to blanket, I passed by a lifeguard chair. A soft voice called down "Hi There!" I returned the greeting and asked how the view was from up there. "Come on up and see for yourself" she politely invited me. I climbed up, sat down and introduced myself. There was no moon that night, I sat up there in a shroud od darkness. "You sing pretty good" she said. "Oh, so you're with the group?" I asked.. "yes, I came with them, not sure why, the way they carry on.....I guess I just didn't want to be alone tonight". From there the conversation opened up, we talked about the pressures of being High School seniors, she told me that she went through High School not having a boyfriend and the effect it had on her.We spoke of the hurts that are inflicted upon us without others even knowing. "Marc, you seem like a really nice guy, I feel like I know you....I hope you don't mind.....could you put your arm around me?" "SURE!" I said as bells whistles sirens and alarms went off in my head. She slid over and tucked herself beneath my arm and we continued talking. A few minutes into our conversation a girls voice called out from below "Hey Ivy, c'mon down we're all going over to Nathans for a bite to eat...the guys will meet us there, so you two lovebirds can continue there!"...

She climbed down from the stand, I still could not make out her features in the darkened night. "How will I know how to find her?" I thought. I quickly climbed down and headed over to the car where my friends were waiting for me. They all looked at me with smirks...they broke out in song.."going to the chapel and we're gonna get married".......I defended my honor with..."hey guys, I was 5 minutes away from having one hand up her blouse....so puff that in your magic dragon".....The drive to Nathans was 5 minutes, but all the while I wondered....what does she look like...who is this sweet girl that is so inviting?

We parked the car, hopped out and strutted by the eatery looking for the girls. "Marc!"..I heard a voice call out..I stopped, I recognized the voice, it was hers, I turned around and saw many faces..."Marc, hi its me, Ivy"....She was short and very, very pudgy, a rounded freckled face, and red curly hair. Nothing close to what I imagined, and physically speaking, no chemistry. My friends pulled behind..."oh, its the bride!" they chimed. I smiled at her....said "Hi....don't pay any attention to them, combined have an IQ of my age....Now, how about a Nathans Hot dog!" We found a table sat down and continued to talk. We talked about the Viet nam war, she asked what I would do if I was drafted. We talked about horoscopes, first pets, and favorite TV shows. In the time it took to eat a hot dog, we got to know each other so well. "Time to go" her friend announced. She looked at me and mentioned that this one one of the best nights she has had and then asked if she would see me again.I knew she lived very far from me, and seeing her again was unlikely.

I asked for her phone number, she wrote it on a mustard and coke stained napkin. "Call me please" she said....and then got up and left with her friends. I placed the napkin in my pocket.

I never did call her again....but held onto that napkin.....I knew that napkin represented a hope, a dream......and I just could not trash it.

Our dreams are born out darkness, like kites, they float high above sky, soaring above our fears and beyond the shadows cast upon us.......but, dreams are like kites, they eventually fall.......only to find their way, getting caught by a tree, torn and becoming lifeless........holding only the joy that sailed in them!

First Kiss

2006-03-26T20:13:00.000-08:00

.......Prior to that kiss, there was a dark history....(this was an previous entry of mine Dec.2004).....

....skating back in time I can recall that tender age of 13. I first noticed girls batting their eylids at me, calling my name cutely, and teased me for attention. I was naive in noticing that it was "nature calling". When the time came for my first kiss, I was too shy and clumbsy to live up to her expectations!.......Word quickly spread, I was a terrible kisser! At 13, there are no second chances!! My reputation preceded my boyhood charm and good looks! The girls on the block had turned stone cold on me! I was devastated...and for the next few years, I avoided being placed in a close up puckering position. (aww)

I watched T.V. shows and movies carefully.....I studied how James Bond would lock lips with his leading ladies....Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, Kirk Douglas...I watched them all, and observed. Through this careful observation I discovered that kissing was not just about lips being locked together, but it was the intimate formation two souls, using the lips as a conduit for their passion. The passion of two souls!

Many years passed, and in one night, the phobia was laid to rest, as I fell into the eyes of another and she whispered the words into my ear..."oh Marc, where did you ever learn to kiss like that?"

If heaven was ever to touch Earth, this was the night!

Do You Want To Know A Secret

2006-03-21T20:57:00.000-08:00

On any given night there are two hearts that are destined for each other. However, they are well contained and concealed from each others reach. Only the secret words, "I love You", can release them.

These simple and magical words will release them! They will burst from their area of confinement, race into each other, grabbing hold and dance in the rain of joy, tapping in the puddles of their passion, splashing droplets of magic in every direction!

(Continuing.."Harbor of the Heart" entry ..2/23/06)

Spring came that year, we shared that Spanish 101 class for five weeks. While my heart was on my sleeve, hers was well concealed. I had no idea how she felt about me, if anything at all.

A party celebrating Spring was made, and we attended. At midnight, people began filing out, leaving just her, me, and another couple. "Lets go for a bite" suggested my friend.."I feel like something in Chinatown". We quickly agreed and were in his car heading for downtown N.Y.C.

We made it to the downtown area, the car radio playing the loveable sing along oldies. We drove along the riverside, the imposing skyscrapers, softly lit, were like giant ornaments for the night sky....the water, softly reflecting the light of the moon.

We were seated in the back, I at one side, and her staring out the car window on the other side.

The song by the Beatles, Do You Want To Know A Secret? came on, over the radio

"You'll never know how much I really love you

you'll never know how much I really care.

Listen (do-wa-do) do you want to know a secret?

do you promise not to tell?

...........................................I sat on my side of the car, a huge grin broke out on my face...."gee, if she only knew" my heart spun its awakening call......

my lips went in sync with the song....

"Ive known a secret for a week or two,

nobody knows just we too, listen

(do-wa-do)

I turned to face her.....and behold..she was facing me with a sweet smile and was singing...our eyes locked.....in unison

"do you want to know a secret

do you promise not to tell

I'm in love with you"......

.........it was followed with the softest yet most powerful kiss that I had ever come to known in my short life.....

Now, many years later I cannot even recall what occured the remainder of that evening.....I just know a part of my heart was left behind beneath a moonlight night, and in the tune of a Beatle song that liberated it!

Sweet liberations to the hearts that silently wait....your turn will come! ....

Faith Interrupted

2006-03-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

When death, serious illness, and news of crumbling relationships resonate in my ears, my complete and unyielding faith in the warm hand of the Almighty becomes interrupted. Once again, I turn and look for a clue...could there even be one? Why are our hearts allowed to fall to the ground and shatter as if they were made of fine porcelain. Can the Creator of worlds and time be so occupied and removed from us? And so I muse......

As my sons were growing up, they looked up to me for all sorts of answers, especially to their homework assignments! When my youngest was 12, he saw me as a natural wealth of quick information.

One night he came to me and said in a half whine..."Dad, I need help with my math homework...I really don't understand the problems." ..... I always enjoyed being engaged and challenged...after all, eighth grade math was my calling! "Hmmm...O.K.....here we go....if x+4 =8, we'll move the x to this side, subtract that side...." and to his relief, I unraveled this dark mystery for him . He was never amazed at my swift calculations, after all, I was Dad, I was supposed to know!

Imagine my amazement when he came home from school the next day and waved the homework assignment in my face..."Look Dad, an "F"....all of YOUR answers were wrong! I can't believe it Dad...an "F"....!!

My mouth fell to the open position and stayed frozen that way. Aside from the disbelief that I had incorrectly answered every question, was the fact that I let my son down..way down! After rereading the questions that were asked, I understood that my approach to his assignment was all wrong, but that did not matter now. I asked him how much this assignment meant to the grade for the period. "Well, I was running a B-, but with this F, I'll be lucky to get a "C" for a grade.Now what do you suggest?"

I had never let my son down like I had at that moment. There was no fixing this, I couldn't explain to the teacher that Dad was doing his sons homework and failed to properly follow instructions. I just looked at my son and explained that he would now need to work extrahard,. He would need to be better prepared for tests and do some extra credit work. "You mean I have to do all that extra hard work because you couldn't do my homework right?"

A parent is supposed to have the answers, it is the problem solver, the parent is supposed to make the hurt go away...it is not supposed to be the source of it.

The world spins on an axis which we have no control over. The sun rises and sets each day keeping things on this planet in perfect running order. We trust this amazing feat of mechanical awesomeness is in good hands. So when our lives are pulled away from us like a rug being pulled from beneath out feet, we are plunged into a deeper depth of darkness, as if our parent has abandoned us....as if our parent gave us all the wrong answers on a homework assignment!

It now becomes our job, to work harder. we must now pull ourselves together.

It is now time to believe, hope and trust...more than ever before.

To all my friends here in J-land who have recently lost loved ones, to those who have loved ones battling a serious or life threatening illness, to those struggling in family matters, to all of those who face face despair as if it were a permanent fixture in their day.....The Parent does not have all the answers, and to believe so only allows for a faith interrupted.

My prayers of a return and restoration to a peaceful soul~~~Marc

The Guest Towel

2006-03-15T20:23:00.000-08:00

Regarding my last entry, "License To Love", I have received a few comments and e-mails provoking me to realize that while we all have a license to love, we are often guilty of malpractice! So...I offer up to you the other side ..........

THE GUEST TOWEL

You have just spent four wonderful days in a very plush hotel. Everything about this hotel resonates with the ultimate in comfort. The silk sheets, the thick carpeting, the scent of fresh linen and lilac permeating the air, right down to the very plush guest towels, this hotel is PLUSH!

It is time to start packing, you have just washed your face the creamy kiwi cucumber soap and now begin to pat your skin with the plush guest towel. "This place is heaven" you sigh to yourself. "I just wish I could take a piece of this with me". You stare at the plush guest towel in your hands, "this will do!" and you toss it into your suitcase which is lying open on the bed. Your conscience rebels! "Hey! That's not right, thats stealing!...Now go hang that towel back up on the rack!".... You pause, you want that guest towel, you feel it belongs to you. You counter your conscience "Hey, with what I am paying for each day here....they should give me a towel!....Besides..In a place this big, who will ever notice one little guest towel is missing?" You have just steamrolled your sense of morals with your own handpicked logic.......you zip up the suitcase, and this matter is closed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Our hearts are like that plush hotel. They offer the greatest comfort known to man....Love. How foolish we are, to come into this Hotel and take what we feel belongs to us and then excuse ourselves with our own sense of logic!

How unfortunate for the Hotel owner, who is faced with replacing those guest towels over and over again and leaving himself to wonder.."have I charged too high a price for someone to come here?"

Looking for that soft and fluffy pillow..........Marc :)

License To Love

2006-03-14T20:10:00.000-08:00

Imagine you are in need of a heart operation! In walks the surgeon, it's Harrison Ford! You gasp, "Harrison Ford? You're not a heart surgeon. What are you doing here?"..Smiling with his charming grin, "Oh, but I did play a Dr. in the movie, The Fugitive, I think I will do just fine!"

Your roof has a leak, you call a roofer and Tim Allen shows up (Home Improvement)....While you are delighted to meet him...he's not the one you'll hire to fix your roof!

.......License!.....Yes, when it comes to matters that affects our health and the roof over our heads...we want to see a license. It shows us that we are in the hands of an "authority"....someone that really knows how to do the job right!

What about Love? We meet strangers, and as they pass our sets of criteria we allow ourselves to open our hearts to them. No license necessary, "here, you have won me over with the right look, the right words and the right touch, here's my heart! It almost sounds too foolish to be true!

Upon closer scrutiny I realized, that when our hearts want something so much, when the needs of the heart is so strong, it will overlook the details that line the path to the object of its' desire...in this case, Love! The place, the time, the circumstance are of little importance, just the fact that we reached that highpoint of emotion..is all we think about. In other words, the license to love and be loved by someone, is overlooked....we don't need credentials!

I asked "why not?"....We want our Heart Dr. to have credentials, we want our roofer and plumber to have them...why not a stranger we allow in our heart?

I thought of myself, who walks with an open heart and allows entrance to whoever holds a ticket of kindness. Then it occurred to me, there is a license to love. We all have one,it was given to us by our Creator (God if you wish)..Our hearts have been preset to respond to kindness and caring. They have been treated with a sensitivity towards truth, trust and sincerity. As long as we sense these long proven elements, a license to love hangs proudly in our hearts! The other details..are small.

Congratulations...it looks like all you lovely J-Landers are Drs!

Mistress Of Betrayal

2006-03-09T20:46:00.000-08:00

The year was 1992. Everyone was sporting a pager (beeper) on their wasitline or had one attached to their pocketbook. I had resisted this accouterment which let one know that they had to stop whatever it was they were doing and head for a phone. Finally, I could no longer hold onto a simpler world, and I purchased one. I had barely remembered my new number and which button to press, when my wife presented me with her wish for her upcoming birthday, a cell phone!

Back then, cell phones were reserved for professionals on the move. Most of the models were the size of bricks and the monthly plans were like second mortgages. She told me that Motorola had come out with a new smaller version..a "flip phone". It still did not convince me why a stay at home mom who had a pager, now needed a cell phone. My resistance to her wishes were met with a similar response that a child makes when being told he cannot have a toy he asked for. In my retreat, a wave of suspicion came creeping in! "Why is she so insistant on having a device that will allow her to make calls on the go?". The "Columbo" part of my brain began working overtime. It held any insignificant data it could find and incriminatd her in the court of my mind. "She must be flirting with someone!" I concluded. Yes, I did not forget the smiles and winks she flashed at other coaches when we were at the little league games. Suspicion had now formed a lynching party.

Her birthday approached, and I caved in, taking her to Cicuit City to purchase this cell phone. Back then, there was only one choice, there were no sleek Nokias, Ericsons, or Color screen Samsungs....just one Motorola model and just one plan. Eighty bucks a month for 30 minutes of talk time! If you spoke for 10 seconds, that was your minute. Once you went over 30 minutes, you were charged. Her happiness at holding the phone at the store was something unequalled. Again alarms went off in my mind. I half grinned at the salesman, and agreed it was a sale. She kissed me on the cheek and then wandered off to muse at the other electronics as I woefully signed a 3 year contract. I smiled at the saleperson, "shouldn't we have a man of the cloth here, this is not a contract, it's more like a vow!"

The salesman chuckled and then began to make another pitch, "would you like to purchase insurance for this phone?" I gave him a cold "No". "Would you like roadside assistance plan?". "No"...."Would you like an extra minute plan?"..No"...."Would you like a payment protection plan in case you get sick and can't pay for the phone?"...."No"..."would you like detailed billing?"..... My tongue went deep into my cheek..."detailed billing?, please explain" I said. "O.k., detailed billing will give you a list of all the outgoing phone calls that have been made on this phone. The list will be a part of your monthly statement and costs just 5 bucks a month". My mouth fell open, a silent "halleluhah" rolled off my lips. My suspicions as to why she has to have this device could be confirmed! "Put it on, I'll take it, yes...I think that is a wonderful option to have!"

I signed the contract, folded it in my pocket and took the shopping bag over to my wife who was admiring the TVs...."here you are" I said with with the widest of grins.."Happy Birthday". We both exited the store with big wide grins.

A month had passed and the day came when the first statement arrived. I made no mention of it and put the bill away for a private review. Night decended and she soon fell asleep. I went into another room to open this document which would, as I presumed, confirm my suspicions. My eyes ran down the lines, my brain assimilating the numbers called .....I quickly noticed a pattern of the same numbers. I mutterred the number repeatedly under my stuttering breath. Yes, now I recall! That was the number of my friend! Blood raced through my head.."I can't believe it, I can't believe it!" my mind reeled. The "Columbo" part of my brain was summoned...."let's see...all of these calls ...lasted .....one minute....so, this is obviously his pager number"...."and...lets see what happens after he is paged....well now, look at that, an incoming call being returned within minutes of being paged....my oh my, he is faithful as a puppy!"

My mind was now cooked in boiling blood! "I can't believe my plan worked so fast...how stupid could she be!!" .... "Now, where do I go from here?". Images of the two of them chatting on the phone, schemeing on a place to meet played in my mind like a lage cinema movie!...I tried hard to calm myself, but to no avail. I tried reaching deep into my intellect, begging for it to gain control of my raging heart. "I must think responsibly, remember, there are kids involved...mine and his. And...I must be absoutely certain this is who I think it is" I told myself.

It was late, I could not sleep, part of me wanted to go into the bedroom and throw ice water on her! I paced the living room floor, even the family dog became nervous. I knew I needed to have some small piece of resolution before I could close my eyes. Then I recalled, a sheet that was being passed around the office...beeper codes. Callers would punch in certain numbers that would mean a message, for example, "43" on a beeper meant "I love you"... I pulled the paper out of my briefcase....yes, there it was ..."143" which meant "F*ck You"..... I picked up the phone and proceeded to dial the number that was on the bill..."heheh" I chuckled.."when he wakes up in the morning, he will see he has gained one new enemy this day!" At the promt, I hit the keys, it felt so therapeutic. I quietly crawled into bed, I marched in a parade of defeat and jubliation to sleep.

Morning came, I showered and dressed, made the boys breakfeast and packed their lunches, I was cold and indifferent, acting like a vegetarian in a butcher shop. My mind too occupied, scheming its next plan to catch these culprits. I poured my coffee to go, and went back to the bedroom to get my wallet, keys and pager. "Gee" she said to me, "you haven't said a word this morning, are you o.k.?"....I didn't answer, just slipped my wallet in my back pocket, my keys in my pocket and slipped my pager on my belt...which had a message waiting for me...143!

The "somewhat familar" number was...yes...my own pager #!

When the mind entertains suspicion and doubt, it will often find that mind becomes the mistress of betrayal!

Sleeping with both eyes closed.....Marc :)

In The Harbor of the Heart

2006-02-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

There are many minutes that fill a lifetime, while each one is equal in measurement, we each have minutes that carry the weight of an eternity!

It was a February many years ago. I was in college and had just returned to school from "winter break". A new semester, and a new set of classes to attend. "Spanish History 101, how did I get this class?" I mused. Reluctlantly, I headed down the hallways and consoled myself with the fact that this would be a class to catch a nap in.I entered the room found a seat and scanned the room for any familar faces. It was a class of complete strangers. I looked up at the chalkboard, where the professors name was written, and the words "Spanish History 101" and beneath that "Spanish History 102". "They must be kidding" I laughed to myself..."101 will certainly be enough!"

In that very instant, my world moved.....a young lady had walked into the classroom, I had not seen her before, every cell in my body jumped, she saw the empty seat next to me,and sat down. Our eyes made contact for a second, it seemed like an eternity. I did not need an explanation nor did I need to consult a handbook for what I was feeling. Suddenly, "Spanish History 101" was going to be my favorite class! I made a polite attempt at starting a conversation, but she seemed in no mood. An hour passed, and the bell rang signaling the end of class. The professor chimed his last words as the students were rising out of their seats, "this class meets on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays....see you on Wednesday". For me, it was music to my ears! I spoke beneath my breath, "I wish it was Monday through Friday"..."are you nuts?" she said...."you want this class 5 days a week?".....She heard me! ...Quickly my tongue went into my cheek..."why yes, I loved taking Spanish in high School, and one day, I plan on visiting Spain....this class should be a breeze for me..so, if you ever need help, feel free to ask me". I can't remeber what she said, I was melting too fast in her eyes...she knew I was staring at her. "I'm sorry" I said apologetically, "forgive me for staring, I believe I have seen you before." Her face had that "disbelieving look" on it. "No really, I know I have seen your face before....yes! I saw your face on a wanted poster at the Post office!" "Oh really" she said with sarcasm, "do I look likea bank robber to you?" "Noo...but I do believe it said on the poster that you were on the Wanted List for stealing so many hearts!". She was not impressed with my line of flattery and coldly said "godbye, see you Wednesday".

Fate moves not only in mysterious ways, but in marvelous ones!

It was the start of a relationship that sounded all the alarms in the hall of romance. Every cell was woken to a new and wonderous world. My ears began hearing every word of every love song. My eyes learned the striking similarity of a moonbeam and the softness of her hair. My tastebuds learned the uncomaparble sweetness of her skin. My heart....my heart was no longer just mine.

...and now many Februarys later, while I can no longer remember what her lips were like on mine, my heart recalls that one minute, the minute that fate was twisted and the doors to a paradise were opened.

The mind sets sail to many moments ...and they are lost in a sea of time passed, but the heart, the heart is a harbor for the treasures left behind.

.......Marc :)

PENNIES FROM HEAVEN

2006-02-20T20:37:00.000-08:00

Upon returning from a trip to the supermarket, I spied a penny lying on the ground. Despite my hands being occupied, I managed to retrieve the coin from the ground and smiled as I put it in my pocket, recalling many years ago the lesson and the origon of where this penny came from.

PENNIES FROM HEAVEN

“Alright” I said to my five year old son, “for being such a big help to Dad, you may select one candy from the display (although for his remarkable patience he deserved more!). As he faced the cascade of boxes of candy on display, I began to load the groceries on the conveyer belt. As I reached into my pocket and withdrew some bills, a few pennies fell to the floor. Two pennies, too embarrassing for a grown man to be scrambling around for! As I pulled my eyes away from the still dancing pennies, I noticed one of my bills had slipped out of my hands and also had fallen to the floor. As I bent down to retrieve the dollar, I scooped up the two pennies that I was willing to just leave behind for someone with a little less pride to pick up.

“Twenty dollars, ninety seven cents” smiled the cashier. I handed her twenty one dollars, and she handed me the three pennies back. As I was tossing the change into my pocket, I could hear the clanging of money on the floor. I had missed my pocket, and the three pennies went rolling across the floor! Quick as a flash, my five year old son was on top of them. “Here Daddy, you dropped your money!” he said with a big satisfied grin.

It was then I recognized the huge difference between man and boy. How my pride intercepted my effort to pick up a few pennies from the floor. How my son, basking in his innocence, felt none the less slighter by picking up the pennies. A strange sense ran down my spine, was my ego too large? I knew there was a reason for this observation, but was not sure what.

Once home, I took out the three pennies that my son enthusiastically picked up from the floor and placed them in a jar. I promised myself, that I would never be too proud to stop and pick up a penny from the ground. As a reminder, I would place the coins that I found in that jar.

Years passed, I found pennies, nickels and dimes everywhere!

There they were, in parking lots, on sidewalks, beneath the seats at stadiums and theaters! Some were unknowingly dropped by their owner, but many were just left behind, not worth the effort of climbing over an ego to retrieve. The contents of the jar swelled.

Then one day, many years since those first three pennies, I read an article in a local newspaper. A family with a critically ill five year old son was holding a fundraising event at a local park. They needed money for a lifesaving operation. Without a thought, I emptied out the jar, and began to roll up the pennies, nickels and dimes. As I rolled, I recalled that moment when my son retrieved the first three pennies. I took all the rolled money and placed it a bag.

On the day of the fundraising event, I went to the park and stood at a long table where home baked goods were being sold to raise money. “Sir, how about a cookie for a dollar?” asked the lady behind the table. I recognized her from the newspaper article; it was the mother of the sick boy. I handed her my bag of rolled coins. “How about twenty seven dollars and thirteen cents” for one of those cookies I smiled. “Wow” she exclaimed, barely able to lift the canvas bag from my hand. “Goodness gracious” she laughed, “pennies! Loads of them, where on earth did you get all of these?” she exclaimed. I began to tell her the story of how, one day long ago, I was a too embarrassed to pick up some pennies off the floor, but my son, who picked them with a certain pride, had taught me a lesson. She smiled and thanked me and said,” Now I know where these came from, they are pennies from heaven”.

and so I learned...if you allow your ego to grow too large, it will block your sight of the small details....and the goodness that you might be able to render to others!

Peace to all Marc :)

The Meditation

2006-01-12T20:47:00.000-08:00

The past two weeks have ushered in huge waves of stress. As I gasp for one fresh breath and look for one ray of light I recall...... The power of light and meditation...when the two coincide, they provide a deep insight to the soul that no medical drug can match!....enjoy..and have a marvelous day!
The Meditation
   My friend told me of the most amazing day he had in Key West. He visted a meditition teacher who resided in a small house off the beach. The teachers house had the most spectactular view of the beach and the infamous "Key West Sunset!" I asked my friend to allow me to join him on his next vist.
     That day came, and we arrived at the teachers house in the mid afternoon. While he greeted us warmly, I could not help but having a feeling of disappointment when noticing that all the shades in house had been drawn down.I spent my first moments debating with myself if I should ask him why he closes off his house to a breathtaking view of the ocean!
    The meditation teacher was a marvelous host, engaging us in a lively conversation and then serving us some delightful green jasmine tea.
    Every few moments, my mind would wander to the fact that I had not yet seen the spectacular view of the ocean. As I sat in a chair in the dark room I could hear the gentle rolling waves of the ocean teasing me.
   It was now past eight o clock, I knew the sun was about to reach the shoreline, I began to stir. The meditation teacher annouced it was now time to perform our meditation. "This will be impossible" I said to myself.
    He led us into a room that had nothing but mats on the floor and shades, which were rolled down, on the windows. "Get into position" he gently commanded. I squatted down, folded my legs, outstreched my hands. "Take a deep breath...and hold it" he intsructed.
Just as I filled my lungs, like ballons for a party, I saw something straight ahead of me. A beacon of light! Directly ahead of me was a separation in the windowshade, there was a tear in it! I could see the sun taking its bow into the horizon. I could make out its magnificant reflection across the flattened ocean! Through this opening, firey hues of orange and purple came pouring in.
   There I was, filled with this one breath, and in a direct view of this ball of life immersing itself into the sea.
Suddenly, I felt connected to something far greater than anything here on earth. I could feel my connection to the universe! And this connection was sustained by this one breath.
   In a flash of second, I realized that just as this sun lights up and nourishes this world, I too am given that very same power.As the sun transfers its light to me, I can transfer light to my world!
    I also mused about the beauty that lies in nature, it resonates too sharply to be random or accidental. Light and dark....life and death ...are both given great distances between them, but the line they cross from one realm to another, is so very fine, and unavoidable.
   We must make the most of who we are, inbetween those lines, and with each breath!
   I wish for you to be able to have that moment when you can see through the crack in the shade.
  Peace~~~   Marc :)

"That's Weird"

2006-01-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that Gem (libragem007) would tag me, hoping for me to reveal my "weirdness". I am quite the normal guy.....I mean I go through life, in a most normal manner....I just try to spice it a bit so it doesn't appear too normal!.....So, when was the last time I had a "weird" feeling...... ah yes! Every Sunday afternoon there is a radio program that I MUST listen to, or Sunday does not feel like Sunday. It's a local music program called "Folk and Accoustic Sunday" (on the NPR radio station)....Its a smooth blend of old folk, current folk, Bluegrass and international folk..... Regardless of what i might be doing on that afternoon,the music has me sit down in my mind and pull up a chair on the porch and have a tall cold glass of iced tea. The program really makes my Sunday......if I miss hearing it...yes, I feel weird.

"Weird"....that's right.....just last week at the Christmas lunch, the secretaries were gabbing about men, and how they stare and gawk. One secretary spotted me listening in and chimed..."except for sweet Marc...when he talks to you he makes eye contact, not chest contact" The women all nodded in agreement that I was the perfect gentleman......... I grinned.....and laughed to myself...." I can really do that??? All these years I've been staring at their chests and they say I'm looking into their eyes!...Gee..that's weird!

If I can't think of something that is weird..I'm certain that the wife can! She swears that "I can't Chew gum and drive at the same time"...now that's not true...but one time tried chewing gum while having sex....and when we were finsihed, the gum was gone! I'm not telling where it was found, but that's the last time I'll "chew and screw".

Oh yes, which brings me to.....when I can't find my wallet....yes, I get weird about that......Imagine, I have handled millions of dollars worth of jewels in my days, I never get nervous if one gets misplaced at the factory...but my wallet, (which usually never has more than 40 bucks in it!) if its missing for 5 minutes...I get ....GAS! I mean turbulent gas folks.....I guess if I can't find my wallet, I'm hoping it will find me! Oh, by the way, whenever I misplace my wallet, it takes just 5 minutes for my wife to snif, snif and yell "HEY WHAT DID YOU DO.......LOSE YOUR WALLET!"

OK...4 weird things down...and one to go....hey, I need to make a run to the bathroom.....WAIT...which reminds me.....Women in bathrooms.....you take so much time in there.....and sometimes you go in there in pairs? You always come out smiling or grinning.....Me? I'm happy that I came and went...and I'll never take another guy to mens room with me....I hope that doesn't make me wierd!

OK gotta go.....I'll be tagging someone who hasn't been tagged with this when I get back! Love and peace to you all....Not so wierd, Marc :)

Marriage Therapy and Tanning Salon

2005-12-30T20:21:00.000-08:00

Floridas reputation for being "the retirement State" is quickly being replaced by being known as "the shopping State". Shopping Centers, Malls, Designer Outlet Stores, all sprouting up overnight like weeds! Within 2 minutes of traveling North, South, East or West of me, I will find at least one Starbucks.....meaning, in less than 10 mins I can hit 4 Starbucks! No one can accuse us Floridians of not having enough caffiene handy!

This morning while driving into work I was passing by another new strip shopping center and I could see that the first sign was in place announcing a new store coming soon! "What else could we possibly need in this neighborhood?" I asked myself. I took a fast glance to soothe my curious nature. "WHAT?" I said to myself in disbelief. I slowed the car and looked again. "NO WAY, Can't Be!..I never heard of such a place!" The big white sign with red lettering read "MARRIAGE THERAPY and TANNING SALON".....From that moment on, my day was flipped into overdrive with puzzlement!

The voice in the back of my mind woke up.... "who in the world would open such a place?" I lowered the radio station (which happens to be Dr. Joy Brown, who is a marvelous psychologist that hosts a great radio program) in order to think. I immediately began to imagine situations.....My wife and I sitting in that office....."Well Dr. we are having problems in our marriage, she goes to bed in Flannel, and I'm dreaming of her in some satin". "Hold it right there" I imagine the Dr. saying...."No wonder the two of you have trouble with your sex life, you are both white as ghosts! I am prescribing 3 tanning sessions immediately...once you have your tans on, you can come back and talk!".

The entire day my mind entertained me with the business variables of this bizzare storefront combination. I could see a woman coming home from a MarriageTherapy session...her hubby asking.."how did your session go tonight?"......"well, I'm not sure if I made much progress with my anxieties of you cheating on me, but look at my Boobies now....No tan lines!"..........and my mind wandered.....does the psychologist use a tanning bed instead of couch?...... I could see the ads for this place...."Give your Marriage a check up and get a tan on us!".......

I promised myself that on the way home, I would stop in at this new strip center and get a close up of this storefront that was under construction.

The day came to its close, I had scripted enough "situations" to write five seasons of a sit-com! I could not wait to re-visit this place which had captivated my imagination for the entire day.

As I neared the intersection oif this new shopping center, I began grinning, replaying my day of thoughts. It was dark and no lights were up yet. I pulled up to the storefront and looked up at the sign......A 120 mph wind raced through my ears screaming "idiot!".......The sign read "Massage Therapy and Tanning Salon"......... "oh" I said to myself..."I guess that does make sense".

I scratched my head, and went back into my car......"too bad..I had all these great ideas and images.....now what will I do with them?".....the voice in my head chuckled..."put them in your journal...what else would you do with them"!

Next time, before I read any more signs, I'm stopping at a Starbucks!

Make it a double expresso! Marc :)

SAMSON & DELILAH

2005-12-29T14:03:00.000-08:00

My deepest thank you to the many who left comments & suggestions about my adventure in Bloomies.....I am even more delighted that many you saw the innocence that was woven in my moments ...and not the image of a voyeur.......and so, allow me to add this statement for even further clarification........

SAMSON & DELILAH

Samson, the symbol of strength and courage. A model of muscle that all men hope to obtain.

Indeed man is consumed by challenge of competition. Anything that challenges his grasp on the "throttle" will have him alarmed. Man is willing to train and torture himself endlessly, just to be victorious in that challange. He trains his muscles to react, to be swift and overpowering.

But deep within, man senses his vulnerablity and is fearful of it. How ironic that mans greatest desire would also be be his largest fear to conquer. This unique double edged sword that I speak of is the scent of a woman.....not a fragrence, but her smile, the look in her eyes, the softness of her skin.

Samson knew that with just one look into Delilah's eyes, he would not only reveal the secret of his strength,but he would reveal to the subsequent generations, the weakness of man!

I confess to having this inheritance!

Marc :)

Breathless In Bloomies

2005-12-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

Thank the good Lord for the Bloomingdales Annual After Christmas Lingerie Sale! This is the one time of the year I get an excuse to enter that wonderful dept! It's the only time the "wife" is motivated to go and allows me to become a witness to passion that most women have...dressing up for their man!
    On this particular occaison, we entered the dept and she made a straight
path to the racks that I have dubbed, "The Taliban Section". Garments so heavy they should be sold as a beach blanket. I casually drifted over to where the more provacative racks were!

It was then I saw her.....a young, gorgeous blond going through a rack of the
finest, sheerest lingerie that one could possibly imagine! I positioned myself
to be able to observe, without being overly conspicuos. She lifted off the rack
a garment that was completely lace! She held it up in front of her face....I
could see her smile right through the garment! "oh my" I thought to
myself.."imagine coming home to her...dressed in that!
She placed the garment over her feminely formed arm.....I mused at her
complete gracefullness.
    She continued to fan through the garments on the rack..she lifted up another one....just a tangled bunch of strings on a hanger. She pulled them apart...it looked like floss to me..smiling she draped them on her arm with the other garment. "What is she planning? She will kill that poor man!"
    At that moment I could recognize the music playing over the stores sound
system. Enrique Iglesias, "Hero".....his voice filled in the backround, "if I could be your hero baby"....Oh my, my heart began to race.
Then she exumed a third article..a pink satin see through teddy! I imagined
her wearing it and appearing before me..."if I could be your hero baby..I would stand by you forever"My knees weakened. Satisfied with her find..she glided over to the cashier. Now, in my younger days...I would have intercepted adamsel such as that..I would have placed my hand on the garments and said "excuse me, but you must allow me to buy these for you!"
....Just then a hard tap on my shoulder shook me...flannel and burlap was in my face. "Here, hold these" my wife commanded. I felt like I was holding a bag of textbooks. From the corner of my eyes I could see the angelic blond clasping her Bloomie Bag and begine her exit from the dept. "Well?" queried my wife, "you gonna stand there with far off look or are you going to pay for these?" I smiled, realizing the need to quickly return to reality. "Certainly, did you find everything you were looking for?" I asked.....smiling back she stated, "why yes, and everything was on sale!"

"On sale!" I exclaimed, infusing a more joyful tone..... "why I can't imagine what else could possibly take my breath away!"

May all your "Day After Christmas sales" take your breaths away too!

Marc :)

In The Name Of Love

2005-12-24T20:26:00.000-08:00

In a recent dialogue with my 19 year old son, he asked, "how will I know the right girl when she comes along?" I smiled, I remember asking that question to myself a long time ago. "your name" I answered. "what?" he replied..."what about my name?" "You will know by the way she says your name" I answered I knew he did not fully understand what I was imparting so I explained..... "when you were two years old and beginning to utter words and make short sentences, they were so cute and precious to listen to. Of all the words you uttered, the one that elevated my spirit was "Daddy"........ I remember coming home from a difficult day at work...and I would walk in the house and hear your chirp "daddy!".. The pain of day was erased, a new light of joy would come rushing in from just hearing you say my name." My son smiled, "really?" "yes...for sure.....So, when your name is spoken, and its mention makes you feel special, the sound of your name on her lips elevates your spirit to its highest point, you will know, she is the one." "wow....thanks Dad" ......I just smiled.....and mused......even at 19 when he says "Dad"....it just makes my day! May you all feel that special love when you hear your name! Peace & Warmth....Marc :)

Lovely and Amazing

2005-12-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to women who look in the mirror and second guess what they see. Thanks to modern medicine women can now have their tummies tucked, their breasts augmented, their lips puffed and their wrinkles erased. Add a splash of hair color, a new hairdo and an application of makeup and you gals look gorgeous! Perhaps the greatest imperfection we have is the way that we see each other! While stopped at traffic light this morning, I glanced over the the car next to mine. I noticed the female driver staring in her mirror, applying a layer of makeup, painting her her lips, and fixing her hair. In that 30 second interval she made a complete transformation. The light turned green and she gave herself one last look in the mirror and smiled with approval. Little did she realize that she was facing the East. The first morning rays of light were streaming in. In that pure light that only our Creator could have provided, I could see the softness of her feminine skin, the sensousness of her lips illuminated, and the silkyness of hair, highlighted. In that pure stream of light, she looked so lovely and amazing! The next time you second guess yourself, I urge you step outside beneath a moonlight night and allow the moonbeams to circle your head and imagine this secret admiration that has been made just for you! Yes, you are, so lovely and amazing!~~~~~~~~~~~Marc :)

Our Essence: Sometimes it leads us, Sometimes it follows

2005-12-13T20:03:00.000-08:00

I just stepped outside into the cold night. The distant cry of a kitten dislodges my heart from its restful state. A pulse of a distant memory races through my mind.

As a young boy in N.Y., it would be on a cold day such as this that I would pick up a stray kitten and bring it to the basement of my apartment building. Like a faithful servant I would bring it milk, food and give it attention.

I did not tell my friends, my parents, nor did I invite an audience in to see what I was doing. It was my simple love of humanity that would have me do this again and again.

The way a person acts when no one is watching shows their true essence. As I look back, I smile at my age of innocence and know it was a time well spent.

Our Essence, sometimes it leads us, sometimes it follows us, especially on a night like this!

Peace & Blessings to All ~~ Marc :)

John Lennon.....The Artists Lament

2005-12-11T20:59:00.000-08:00

The Anniversary of John's passing, only adds another ring of sadness to the wonder of his potental lost.

The sketch shown here was drawn by John Charles Mertz, who has captured the essence of man who carries the weight of being expected to "create universally accepted songs". All too often we focus on the glitter of being in the spotlight, but rarely give thought to the pressures it brings upon the artist.

We hear your words John ..they are the call of every Artist....and thus become, The Artists Lament.

Whether the art form is painting color onto a canvas, or arranging words on paper, or forming clay with hands, or a song from his heart, the artist expresses the energies that are locked within.
His final product, an indulgence of his desire to reach into a world that will connect what is real to what he hopes his art will express.
The artist (painter, writer, musician, sculpter) engages brutal harshness of pain, or immaculate rays of hope, and ultimately creates a world of illusion that resemble the truth. Art is supposed to set the artist free as art is a freedom to express.

"Living is easy with closed, misunderstanding all you see

It's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out

it doesn't matter much to me." Strawberry Fields Forever

And as I write, with all this freedom flowing from my heart through my pen, I am no more free than a slave, a slave to my senses, a slave to my secret passions, a slave for the kiss that eludes my lips.
There is no greater prisioner than the one who lives in a world filled with dreams...and yet without dreams, there would be no art to paint this world the way is wishes to be seen.

It was another day without you, John......but your music and its world of images play on and on and on......... Rest in Peace~~~~~Marc

TAGGED...TEN LEVELS OF HAPPINESS

2005-12-09T20:18:00.000-08:00

WHOA! I've been tagged twice about the same topic! "TEN THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY"

Now, you must know that there are so many things that make me happy....I mean, a good cup of morning coffee makes me happy!..... So, instead of listing Ten Things..I have decided to list things that bring through the TEN LEVELS OF HAPPINESS!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME

VERY HAPPY..... Complimenting others

ECSTATIC HAPPY.... Knowing that I have made someone smile or feel better.

SILLY HAPPY...A womans smile

CRYING HAPPY... Puppies, Kittens, Hugs from sons

TONGUE IN CHEEK HAPPY.. When the wife says "yes"

SASSY HAPPY... while waiting on a long long line, a cashier, one aisle over calls out to me..."you, you're next over here"

SO DAMN HAPPY.... an unexpected refund, or dicount

DELERIOUSLY HAPPY... A sensous woman comes up to me and places her hand on my crotch and says "let's get to know each other better". While this has not happened to me < I know it would make me DELERIOUSLY HAPPY!

INSANELY HAPPY.... Feeling the chemistry between me and Nature

HALLELULAH HAPPY.... Ending a day...no aches, no pains and knowing that I have spent the day with purpose.

..........................................Happiness to all!.......................................

LOVE FOR DUMMIES

2005-12-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

Just returned from Barnes & Noble. These black and yellow instructional books have taken over every subject and clutter up every aisle....and so I muse

"LOVE FOR DUMMIES"
Take a walk through any major bookstore and you will see those black and yellow books in every aisle! "Photography for Dummies" "Auto Repair for Dummies" "Decorating For Dummies". Yes, every topic imaginable all there,completely explained! The first of these all knowing books was written at the dawn of man, and named, "Love For Dummies".

Imagine you are home alone, and there is a knock at your door. You open the door to find an 8 year old, freckled faced, red headed girl standing there. "May I help you?" you ask. "Sure!" She says in a cheery note, "My name is Melissa, and I am your new daughter!" She walks past you and asks "which room is mine? and I hope it has a T.V.!" Before you can begin to figure this out, a middle aged balding man shows up at your door and says "Hi, I'm Miguel,your brother" and as he walks into your house he says.."I'm hungry, have anything to eat?"
Imagine if we did not give birth, but our children, our next of kin, were assigned to us! At any moment there could be a knock at your door and "poof"...another member to your family!
Our creator had great insight. He knew how difficult it would be to unconditionally love a complete stranger. So we were constructed to give birth to our own. Love would be so easy, so very natural! To make sure this plan would be foolproof, our creator made certain that act of creating another would be so very pleasurable, so very intimate with our inner core, that we could not resist!
All we needed to do was to learn how to sustain this simple love ...and by giving us eyes to see each others beauty,and a heart to feel it, he felt the plan was perfect...a plan that only a dummie could mess up!
___________________________________

.....Somehow, it was a marvelous plan, too bad there are still so many dummies amongst us!(some of us just skimmed through the book!).....Peace & Warmth, Marc :)

"Thanks For Nothing"

2005-11-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

...I see while I was absent, AOL has begun placing banners on our journal pages, and has created a controversy!

While being a paying customer, I have always felt that AOL was like a friend. Full of information....connecting my ideas , my questions where they needed to be. Filling many of my nights with music, poetry from a soul in Pennsylvania, laughter, joy and warmth from you J-landers, Photo images from around the world, and ideas on how to improve whatever it was I wanted to improve. I was "Thankful" to pay my monthly fee to AOL...it was like a friend that needed a few bucks from me.

...Then this "betrayel".....I pondered...."what do you say to friend that has betrayed you?".......and then, I recalled........

"THANKS FOR NOTHING"

Alex, Ray and I were typical ten year olds that lived on the same block and hung out together. Alex's house was real nice inside, nicely furnished. His mom collected figurines. She had hundreds of them in that living room. They were crowded on every table, on every shelf, every square inch of that living room had a small figurine on it, it was like a China Shop! Naturally, we were not allowed to go in that living room, not even one foot in!

One day we were home from school and after having a boring catch outside, Alex invited Ray and me back to his house. No one was at his home. He opened the door and walked straight into the livingroom! "Cmon, don't be scared, you guys can sit in here" he cajoled. Reluctantly, we sat down, and looked around us, stunned by the massive collection of figurines that seemed to be staring at us. Alex removed the tennis ball from his pocket, and began tossing it in the air. "Hey Alex , not a good idea" we cautioned him. He laughed, and then tossed the ball over to Ray.."catch!" he said (implying a dare to drop the ball). Ray caught the ball, then tossed it to me. Call it pre adolescent Bravado, but we began tossing that ball around...faster...and faster...til, my toss to Alex sailed over his outstretched hands and sailed towards the end table! The ball landed and figurines were scattered about, and one slid off the table and onto the floor! We jumped up and ran over to asses the damage. Alex leaning over the figurine exclaimed, "My Mom is gonna kill me!....This is her favorite horse and its all busted up!"I tried to mitigate the circumstance with "favorite horse? There must be 100 little horses here, and THIS ONE is her favorite?" "You better believe it" said Alex..."She paid 200 bucks for this one...it's her favorite!"

My stomach collapsed, I broke a 200 dollar horse! My Mom was gonna kill me too!...... "Hold on" I said as I tried to gain control of a situation that was going out of control. I began rearranging the animals that were on the table, trying to compensate for the empty space left on the table. "There!, Now she will never know her horse is missing..the display looks the same as when we first walked in here." Ray nodded his head in agreement and we decided to bury the broken horse figurine in the backyard.

The next day at school, Ray and I met up with Alex. "Boy is my Mom mad!" He exclaimed. As soon as she walked into the living room she cried out, "who messed up my end table?....and then that is when she noticed her favorite horse was missing!" "What did you tell her?" I asked with panic in my heart. "I told her that I didn't know a thing...that maybe my sister and her friends did something to it". "You won't ever tell her that it was us, will you?" I asked. "Nope" said Alex..."I don't squeal on my friends" "Man, you are the best friend that someone could have" I said as I placed my arm around Alex..."I really owe you"......

Time passed, my gratefullness for Alex not bailing out on me played into our friendship. I would loan him nickels for candy and let him use my bike whenever he needed.

Several months passed, it was now Spring and just when that incident was as deeply buried as that horse, my Mother confronted me. "I just got off the phone with Alex's mom, and while she was working in her garden she found a broken horse figurine buried there. She says that you, Alex and Ray were playing one day and broke it....is that true?".......... I was caught! .... In shame and for Mercy I put my head down and put my best puppy dog eyes on...."yes Mom....we broke it". "Well, you will be grounded for the next month and I told her that I would share in the cost of replaing that horse..so you will be losing 5 weeks of your allowance money." My head was spinning....I can't believe that Alex caved in and confessed...especially 5 months after we broke that horse!.....Grounded and no allwance for.... Five weeks? That's it? I got 75 cents a week.....how does that add up to 200 dollars?

The next day came and at first, I did not want to even look at Alex.. Over the past 5 months,I had thanked him a million times, bought him candy, loaned him my bike...all that "Thanks" and gratitude..and what does he do? Rat me out! But I was curious about why I was only losing 5 weeks of allowance...so.... "Hey Alex! Thanks for Nothing!...you couldn't deny it?"...... "No I couldn't" he said with his head in shame...."Besides, I'm the one that has to face her everyday...I am the one who hears her..I am one who is paying for this"... Then I asked about the cost of the horse...."oh, I made a mistake, the horse was only a few bucks..." He put out his hand to me..."still friends?" he asked.....I slowly put my hand out there.."yeah...we're still friends"

and so I learned....no matter how thankful you are and how grateful you might be to a friend, it is not a guarantee that they will always perform in a manner that is to your liking...there will bea time when they let you down . A friendship that is based on being grateful and thankful can only last as long as the "thanks" are being repayed.....

The years passed, and Alex and I remained friends. As we entered adolesence we shared the gossip and secrets of who had a crush on who. He was the first to know about a girl that had caught my heart. He, of course, set out and let her know....which was no problem ....as this "betrayel" had led me to my first kiss!

I hope and trust...that this breakdown that AOL had with us, will teach us with something meaningful .......and one day we'll look back and all say "friends?"

Peace and Blessings Marc :)

The Art of Missing You

2005-11-27T19:12:00.000-08:00

You return home from a day of work, your cat comes out from its hiding place and meanders between your legs and meows. Your dog lurches on top of you, as you open your door and greets you with yelps of joy!

How wonderful that our Creator imbued even the smallest creatures with that feeling of "missing"! Imagine if that feeling did not exist in our "emotional vocabulary"? ..To be gone for a day or two, and no one would notice. When we are told in any language, a bark, a meow, a "hello", that we were missed, its a wonderful form of acknowledgement that we have a place in the mind and spirit of another!

My deepest and warmest thanks to those who expressed a concern about my absense here. You have made me feel like this IS aspecial place to come back to!

My DSL at home has been restored......I may now enter and roam ......

and whether you missed me or not...I missed you all......Meow, Marc :)

Suddenly It's Christmas!

2005-11-12T20:56:00.000-08:00

Whether it's approaching your partner for intamcy, or being sold an automobile, or attending a family celebration...anticipation is the fuel that jump starts the engine of the heart.
Anticipation is a wonderful energy, but if that event gets over anticipated, the event itself will be anti-climatic.
I have just returned from the Mall. The stores have already begun decorating and setting up Christmas displays that reach the ceiling. One store was playing "Jingle Bells" over the sound system....pardon me, but last time I looked, it was the 11th of November! The Thanksgiving decorations were already moved to the clearence tables...I guessI was supposed to have purchased those items on Labor day!
Retailers are afraid about this Christmas season, between significantly higher gas prices, higher prices for merchandise, and the elevated interest rates , there won't be much in the pockets of consumers.
With all this Christmas "foreplay" they will certainly kill consumer spontanaity, which will leaving the store shelves with the unecessary merchandise that will need huge discounting to move. Well, you will be ale to find those bargains in the "day after Christmas sales" which will begin on Dec. 22 this year!
Peace & Joy....Marc :)

MERCY

2005-11-09T20:41:00.000-08:00

A socialite is having a party at her spacious home. As the waiters weave through the large rooms with trays of hors d'ouevres, a lovely young woman sits at the piano playing "Strangers In The Night". A guest who has been admiring this lady, uses this as his cue to make his introduction. He leans over the piano and asks, "do you know the Orgasm song?" Without breaking stride, the woman calmly replies, "no, but if you hum a few bars, I could fake it".

We have Fake gems, fake designer handbags, fake Rolex watches, false eyelashes and fake nails. Some of us fake happiness, some fake their age or their weight. Some of us say fake "how are you?", "Thank You" or even, "I love you". We all fake something in life. My! There is a whole lot of "faking" going on! Actually, it's understandable, afterall faking is an easy way to get a taste of the ultimate without having to go through the expense or trouble of obtaining the original.
What great insight the author (God, if you wish) of the Ten Commandments had when he inscribed "Thou shall not obey no other God but me". He knew how easily we could accept a subsitute, adapt to a fake. While God is out of our sight, he knew our vulnerability and that we could align ourselves with something that felt "close to his presence".

Two weeks ago Hurricane Wilma barged through South Florida,taking lives, demolishing homes, uprooting the livilhood of millions here. I was spared , once again making me thankful for the Mercy bestowed, but leaving me even more mindful for the many who have sufered great losses.
This past year we have seen not only the worst of many Hurricanes, but a Tsunami, major Earthquakes,Tornadoes and landslides. This is Nature, trying to regain its ba ance, from a world that is overheating its atmosphere, and plowing its depths for the energy it needs to thrive on. It is us,that has created this unbalance, and it us who is caught in this balancing act. Thus demonstarting once again, we are not in control. Yes, we are amazing, with our Ipods and PCs, cars and planes. Our bodies and minds can touch the four corners of this universe, but we still are not in control. One act of Mother nature can change all of that!
In this aftermath, I hear in the desparate quivering voices of the affected for something strong to lift them, something real to sustain them, and something eternal that will carry them past their wounds....they will not accept anything but the most authentic.....no fake is allowed in this place....only the genuine warmth of Gods Mercy can be embraced.

Praying this balancing act is complete! Peace and Mercy.......Marc

How Many Mantle Cards Does A Boy Need?

2005-10-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

It's October...The World Series is around the corner...The White Sox are in...the last time they were involved, the heros of the day were Mantle, Mays, Ted Williams,Stan Musial, Warren Spahn, Whitey Ford, Duke Snider....excuse me while I drift......................

In 1960, this country was embroiled in a Cold War with an unrelenting Russia. It was still mending itself from two brutal back to back wars (W.W.II & The Korean War), and in suberbs everywhere, frightened homeowners were building bomb shelters!
   Despite the political controversy, the biggest debate of the day was "who is better, Mantle or Mays?"
   Perhaps, the only real consolation of that time was the purchasing power of a nickel. Milkyway bars, A scoop of ice cream,a small bag of chips, all a nickel!
For a ten year old boy, nothing could compare to the 5 cent pack of baseball cards with a slab of gum! Just the actual purchase, became part of ritual!
I can recall those days after school, when my friends and I would converge on a luncheonette where the cards were sold. We would eyeball the the open box, and one at a time one of us would reach in, our fingers touching each pack and waiting for a divine signal to stop and select that magical pack of cards. We would each remove our only nickel from our pockets and hand them to the overweight cashier who would say "Hey! You messed up the box!"...
We exited the luncheonette where the "ritual" continued. Bobby had a "lucky spot" that he would go to, which was up against the mailbox. David would place the pack on top of his head, close his eyes and silently meditate the names of players he wished would be in the pack. Me? I would hold the pack,oozing with the sweet odor the bubblegum, to my lips, "please...Mantle....Musial....Mays" I would pray. Then we bagan opening our packs. The silence broken with a shriek "Oh My God! I got Hank Aaron"..and another screeh from the mailbox, "Clemente! I got Clemente!"..."Oh man Berra and Ernie Banks!" There never was a dissapointment when opening up those packs!
That was, til Ken joined our "buying ritual". Ken came from a wealthier backround, and alaways had a pocketful of quarters and dimes. While we were carefully selecting our packs, as if trying to sort out the finest diamond from a lot, Ken would just grab a fistful of packs and reach in his pocket to pay.Ken did not have a ritual, he simply tore the packs open, "got it, got it, need it, got it in triples" is all he said as he flashed through the cards. Bobby, David and I would watch in awe, "he got 3 kluzuskis, 2 Mantles, and his 4th Warren Spahn!" Once in a while we could strike a trade with Kenny, but he was never magnaminous despite having quintuplets of a certain player.
   I can still recall, coming home and adding my new cards to the ones I already had, and crossing their names off the checklist of the ones that I still needed.
   Each night, before going to bed, I would reveiw my rubberbanded deck. I would make a clearing on my bed, and create my own all-star team. "catching tonight will be Yogi Berra, Gil Hodges at First base, Bobby Richardson at second.." As I laid out my "team" I realized that I did not really need 2 or 3 Mantles, the one I had looked real good with Mays in left and Hank Aaron in rightfield.
The years quickly passed, adolesence ushered in new interests. Closets and drawers were emptied. The things that once meant all the world to me, lost their place on that list, and the cards were discarded.
Some 30 years later, I found myself escorting my 10 year old son into a card store and had the priviledge of watching him dig his small hand into the bottom of a display of cards and walk outside to certain spot, and hold the pack to his lips.."Clemmens, McQuire, Ripkin" he would chant. I confess to fighting
fighting back the tears as joy would overcome his face, "Look Dad, Clemmens, Bonds and Nolan Ryan in the same pack!"
   Then at night, to walk into his room, he fast asleep, with a deck still tucked in his fist...I truely understood, its not how many Mantles you can have in your hand,but how much appreciation,imagination and love you can hold in your heart!

    ....We all surrender or lose the most precious elements we could ever imagine having.....while we can't bring back what is lost or surrendered, can be healed with imagination, hope and love! May your dreams take you there...one day at a time, one step at a time.....   Marc :)

What's My Line?

2005-10-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

It was one of the first "quiz"shows aired on TV.."What's My Line?".... A guest would be invited on the stage and 3 ( TV Celebs) would each have a turn to ask the guest a question....after accumulating the answers, they had the task of guessing what that guest was "famous" for. Many times the panel would be stumped....and incorrectly guessed what the guest was all about.

It's not so easy to figure someone out, even when you have interrogated the person with 20 personal questions.

This entry is prompted by several J-landers who have recently written in their journals about receiving wicked and biting comments left for them. This is for the J-landers who write with anger and sadness about the harsh judgement they receive from relatives ..co-workers...people in the supermarket...and spouses.

It was 4 years ago that I went up to NY to attend a memorial service for a friend of mine who lost his brother in 9/11. It had been awhile since being in that surburbian town, and not wanting to get completely lost, I drove slow, carefully reading the street signs. I came to a road that narrowed, barely enough room for two cars to pass. I felt I was close to the house, and so I slowed down to read the house numbers. It was then I noticed a car behind me, riding very close. He flashed his lights....there was really no room for me to pull over.....he tapped his horn....."any house now" I told myself.....Then came the HONKS!...."alright alright" I muttered....and looking into my rear view mirror I could see the look of rage writtin into his face.....and then....the FINGER!.....That's it...he crossed the line. I stopped my car, got out and quickly walked to his car. Just as he rolled down his window I said firmly..."Pardon me for holding you up, but I am looking for the home of Max. /////......Who is holding a memorial service for his brother,who was killed in the attack on the World Trade Center!!.....The mans face dropped! "Oh my...please forgive me" he said, barely able to speak the words..."I thought you were just another "Sunday driver" not giving a hoot who was behind you....but I am wrong..I apologize......what home are you looking for?" I handed him the directions I had....."Oh my, you are on the North side heading in the wrong direction...you need to be heading South....look, ...I'll take you to his place, its only a few minutes from here...we'll have to make U-turns...just follow me".

As I followed the man, I mused.....here is a man that 60 seconds ago, was cursing me to hell, and now this same man, once he became aware of what I was about...is now my personal escort!....and without his help..I would have remained lost for quite some time!"

Remember fellow j-landers....once people take the time to know who we are, and what we are about...once we let others know who we are....the honking, cursing, criticizing, the slander ceases, and then...the kindness and understanding can begin!

Wishing all..simple measures of both! Marc :)

APEMAN

2005-10-08T21:06:00.000-07:00

The common thread of success that connects Bill Gates (founder, Microsoft) Steve Jobs (Founder Apple Computer) and me, is the age at which they were hurled through the "door" of fame and wealth. They were both in their twenties. Most of the worlds wealthiest and famous all had their destiny jump started while being "twenty something".

I have sometimes wondered..."what happened to me?"..."I was twenty something too...did I oversleep on the day that destiny had its door open to me?" "At least, did I get a chance to turn the knob?"

While unpacking a carton of momentos, the long lost answer to my question was answered in the form of two Eastern Airline Ticket stubs. (anyone here remember Eastern Airlines?). They were one way ticket stubs...from NY to Miami. My mind flew back.

We were newlywed...living and working in NYC. Two young adults, trying to take on a world , make a place for ourselves. Everything seemed difficult. We worked extremely hard and the only thing we seemed to do was get on each others tense nerves. One day, an offer came from a company based in Miami, we flew down on weekend for an interview and to scope out the town. The warm tropical air, scented with suntan lotion, the sound of Jimmy Buffet music and soft jazz playing everywhere, the casual easy going manner of a sleepy town, Pina Coladas and iced Coronas being served everywhere..... it seemd like the perfect ticket out! We returned back to NYC, gave notice to our bosses, landlord and packed up our tiny apt.

All I could think about during the time we were packing up, was being able to get out of the "rat race". The warm climate, the soothing aromas of beach and warm breezes, being chilled with the sweet succulence of a frozen rum drink......one would cerainly lose their inhibitions easily! Life was going to be easy. My wife would be relaxed. The door to pleasure would swing open, easy and often! Yes...I was giving up my business attire to become....An Apeman! My wife, was to be my Aperess! We were to swing in this new jungle without a worry , indulging ourselves in what this balmy and enchanted town had to offer!

Eastern Airlines brought us in....and the moment we landed, the sky burst with one of the worst rainstorms in the citys' history! Our car (which we shipped down from NY) was waiting for us....had no A/C....after driving for 20 minutes, the steam forming on the windshield was from the 92 degree heat & 100% humidity! During the next few days, we had to deal with our belongings being lost....the frzziness of my wifes hair, the car overheated three times and we discovered that Miami had cockroaches (called Palmetto bugs) as big as any thumb! My wife began missing her family, we overdosed on Cuban Coffee (espresso), and no one spoke English!

My romantic moves were soon dusted away..."Sorry honey, between this heat and the croacking of the frogs, who can get in the mood!"

You can bring the aperess into the jungle, but you can't make her swing in it.

At twenty something.. I hoped to take a step back in time, an easier life....I opened the door that said "Apeman".. Now, here I am, many years later, saying.."thank You Bill Gates and Steve Jobs for inventing the internet and the PC".....While I was trying to rendevous with the primitive spirit within, you guys were up to something more productive! Aw..heck...who am I kidding....if I had invented the PC..you guys would be typing with a set of sticks and bones!

My Leopard skin tunic hangs nearby.........

The Babys Room

2005-10-07T20:33:00.000-07:00

Twenty Four years and two months......and the time came last week to bid a fond farewell to our home. I walked down the halls of a completely vacant home and it felt so strange to be saying "goodbye". I stopped in each room to muse upon a memory, smiling to myself, "if these walls could talk!" My last stop was in, what I have called, the babys room. Now a baby has not been in this room for a long, long time, but this is where each of my 3 sons spent their first years, as they were born into this house. In this room, were some very tender moments, and this is where I embraced one lifes most powerful lessons....as I close the door..allow me to share............ The Babys Room........

Being the father of 3 boys, I can still recall their infant cries in the middle of night. Half awake, I would stumble down the hall and retrieve them from their crib.

By the time my third son came along, I had the 3 A.M. drill down to a routine. Then, on one such night, I awoke, but there was no cry coming from his room. "Any moment now" I murmered to myself. Minutes passed, still no cry. "Is he alright?" I asked myself....as anxiety began to pour in. I waited a few minutes more, til my nervous imagination got the better part of me, and I moved quickly down the hall to his room.

With my heartbeat racing, I aproached the crib, leaned over and observed. I gently lifted him up and held his tiny face to my mouth..there they were..the tinest but sweetest breaths one could possibly imagine! As I held my precious son to my chest, I could not help but wonder about our Creator. Why doesn't he come to our cries in the middle of the night? What could possibly be preventing him from wanting to pick us up and hold us close? How could he resist such a pleasure in comforting us?

I cannot speak for our Creator, but on that night I did realize that he has selected a wonderful nursemaid to attend to us. This nursemaid is is at our sides at all times, and never fails to pick us up during our darkest moments. The nursemaid that our Creator has selected is called HOPE.

As my boys grew, I observed them carefully. Whether catching butterflies, baseballs or a fish. Whether they were blowing out candles on a birthday cake,loving their pets, or studying for a test, I have seen their nursemaid,HOPE, standing in their shadows, bringing their dreams a little closer to them!

Now I know, when I step outside at night, and gaze into the night sky, musing upon the stars and moon, their beauty and precision.....that little spark of eternal energy that runs through my nerves, is merely a confirmation that my nuresemaid, HOPE is standing nearby!

Peace and Blessings.....Marc :)

Why not ask for MORE!

2005-09-20T20:55:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, the receptionist brought a magazine to work called "MORE". It was the premier issue. The magazine is geared to women in their forties. Most of the modeling in the magazine is done by women in their "mature" stage of life. The articles also are concerned with issues that women in their forties and beyond are challanged with.

I was fanning the pages when one ad caught my eye (and heart!) A sensational looking, darling woman in a fly fishing outfit! I must confess that her stunning panoramic smile and blond curls flowing from her "fly fishing cap" were far too provocative for me. I got lost in her smile! I immediately cut the page out..."this is unbelievable" I uttered. "I have fished from coast to coast, on hundreds of piers,miles of streams and sandy beaches and I have never come across a woman with a fishing rod who is as magnificant as this! Suddenly, I felt alone....denied one of lifes sweetest fruits! "No More!" I exclaimed!

I handed the recptionsit the page that I had torn out (which had no ad copy written on it) and asked her if she would write the following with her feminine penmanship.

Hi Marc! Looks like we are having trout almondine for dinner. The wine is chilling....the table only needs your company!

The dragonfly lure that you bought me for our anniversary works just great!...You are so smart!!

See ya later sweetie! <3 Alexis <3

P.S. No peeking in the Victoria Secret bag! You'll just have to wait!!

I took the picture to my desk and quickly slipped it into a picture frame and placed it dead center on my desk! Where it remains to this day.

.......I have since learned that this "fly fishing beauty" is a former model for Estee Lauder in the early 70's......She made her fame and fortune and then walked away from it....moving to upstate NY where she opened a fly fishing school!!!!!!! her name is Karen Graham..she is real.

I heard a beggar call from his crutch...why..why ask for so much?

A woman called from her darkened door..why?..why not ask for more?

Like a bird, on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free....Leonard Cohen

..One is never free from the beauty that warms their heart!....In that case....ask for More!

Marc :)

Confessions Of A Tightrope Walker

2005-09-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

"HEY LOOK UP!........I'M UP HERE!!.....LOOK , I"M UP HERE ON THE HIGHWIRE!!"

We are all tightrope walkers! Afterall we have just one heart that has the amazing job of balancing all of our emotions! Imagine.....the same heart that can full of Joy, can also be deflated by Sadness....the same heart that can be so Bold with Courage, can also shrivel in Fear......the same heart that falls in Love, can be filled with Hate. YIKES! What a balancing act that is! One heart and so many emotions running counter to each other! It is no wonder that so many of us fall off this highwire!

Well, there is no shame in falling off....its just a tragedy if you don't get back up!

Now as for me, I've been doing a pretty good job staying up here..and no, its not intellect that will keep you on this fine line....while it is intellect that will provide you with the knowledge how to maintain balance, it is Faith that provides the Will to stay up here! Intellect always will tell us what is possible, Faith will tell us, everything is possible if you believe in yourself! Faith defies intellect all the time!

I hope and pray there's a whole lot Faith being communed to the parts of this world that have been given a reason to stop believing.

Safe and peaceful journies...... Marc :)

Garage Sale...Used Heart .25 Cents

2005-09-11T20:17:00.000-07:00

Time and proximity influence the attention we can give to an event. For example, a car crash that takes place on your street corner will certainly have you focus more attention on it than another accident that has occured 30 miles away. Or, if your child becomes ill, it certainly will grab more of your attention than if a friend of yours who lives 500 miles away with a child that is ill. The heartache you have today, supecedes the the heartache you had 5 years ago. Time and proximity, the closer the event is to our eyes, the greater its intensity we feel...its only natural.

So, on this solemn anniversary of Sept. 11, I beg your pardon for being short on worthy words on a horrific event in our history which affects each one of us. My attention has been diverted by the sale of my home of 24 years. Yes, I know, I am most fortunate to be able to have sold it and not lost it in a flood...we need not experience the very worst of others to feel the loss.......

With two weeks remaining before we move, today was the day..the garage sale! Garage sales are not meant for the sentimental, or the morally sensitive.... The fishing rod that I sold for 2 bucks was worth far greater than that amount in sentimental value. The many days that my boys and I woke before the sun, with a certain eagerness, drove to a pier and baited our lines. The thrills of the catch, the easy moments of time spent alone. I could see all of that as the man walked triumphantly away with his new purchase.

....and so the day went, article after article being carted off, desks where homework assignments labored over...beds, where they slept, tables, where meals were eaten, games where laughter was shared....

My sons came home to help with the sale, they were happy to see their items being passed along into others hands...and they did an outstanding job of loading beds in the back of vans, and assisting those who needed a hand.

I know..life is about moving on and its wrong not to allow time do to its job of erasing and softing the impact ...... and so, I release my grasp on this hour hand and let it loose...let time tick quickly...as it will bring me further from this aching heart!.....Unfortunately, for the survivors of 9/11 and Katrina, time does not move fast enough......

A new day begins soon! Godspeed and Peace to all~~~~Marc :)

This Summer I Went Swimming

2005-09-05T19:58:00.000-07:00

Precisely the same time each day a group of campers, 6 years of age, were marched down to the lake for their hour of swim time.

The group was divided, the swimmers and the non swimmers. The swimmers were marched down a long pier that led to the middle of the lake. The non swimming group, stayed right at the shallow part, which was surrounded by a dock. This was the "learning pen". That is where I spent my summer afternoons. During that hour, the counselors would spend a few minutes with each of us, giving instructions.

I can still recall feeling the arms of the counslor under my chest, and his commandments "kick,kick,kick!" My eyes would be closed, my cheeks swollen from its one big gulp of air!

One eventful day, while doing my kicking and thrashing, I found myself hitting the edge of the dock. I looked around and to my amazement I was fifteen feet from from my cheerful counselor! That was it! I sawm! I took another gulp of air,kicked and thrashed and made the return trip! I was a swimmer!

Up to that point, nothing had given me such a boost of self esteem. I was officially emancipated from land! In the next few days I proved that I had earned my fins and was released from the group of "guppies", and allowed to swim with the other group in the middle of the lake.

Many summers later I encountered another new environment. A mysterious and well cloaked realm that compelled my exploration. The female! This soft skinned, finely scented species, was so pretty and so new to me. How was I to navigate this new enviornment?

Well, like that beginning swimmer of years before, I kicked and thrashed, took deep gulps of air and swallowed water. I nearly drowned in my own pool of tears.

Then a cool Summer's night, I found the most tender of touches on my heart. The feeling was so reassuring , there could be no stopping me. The soft touch of Young Love was sweeter and and more compelling than anything I had ever known!

Each "goodnight" was accompanied with a kiss that conveyed a passionate and magnetic energy. I could feel my emancipation from a solitary world of oneness and innocence.

It is this time of year, at Summers end, that I fondly recall the episodes of my summer fun and romance. The emancipated young man who was able to boast "This Summer I Went Swimming".

Milestones and moments....may you all reflect fondly upon all of them. Marc :)

(I'm the one second from the top the of ladder)

Turn,Turn,Turn

2005-09-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

We all face numerous personal tragedies in our lifetime. We all have our days of physical and emotional suffering.

This has been a week of absolute grief. There is nothing delicate about grief. The grief becomes magnified when we know we are grieving. And who enjoys confronting grief? The griever, usually waits for time to help with the healing.Unfortunately the grief of victims of Katrina, will need a long time. I hope and pray that the load of grief thay carry will be eased by the many who care. For us, it is our time to carry that weight.........

M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Archive › B › Byrds › Turn! Turn! Turn!

RATE / PRINTWords-adapted from the bible, book of ecclesiastes
Music-pete seeger

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late

It's a time for healing..for all of us. Peace~~~ Marc

The Kings New Clothes---Revisted

2005-08-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

That new designer label dress, that hot colored low cut blouse, that finely tailored suit.... Put one on and wow! Do we look good or what! .... Yes, they allow us to appear our best, but unfortunately , these chic styles can become a cheap disguise for the person that hides inside.

I know of this person parades with his wisdom of accumulating money, then uses his bank account as comaparison guide to the way others live. He adorns his wisdom as if its a designer garment..... I am not alone , as everyone around gets to see his "new clothes"

I am reminded of this tale that I have imparted to my sons, cautioning them about the "real clothes" they choose to wear!.............

The Kings New Clothes ----Revisited

A young man obtains employment with a company in a new community. The young man decides that he will spend a year working for the company before deciding if he will buy a house in this new community.

The year passes and the young man has done very well with the company and loves this new community. Each weekend he visits new home sites to select where he will have his house built. The young man has a miserly and greedy attitude. Never yielding to charity, always bargaining a vendor down til there is no more strength left on the part of the seller. The young man tries to bargain the prices of the homes down, but is unsuccessful. Finally, one home builder tells him, "if you are looking to spend such a small sum of money, why not contact Art the handy man, you can buy a small piece of land, and he will build a home for you at the price you are dreaming of!" The young man contacts Art and after viewing plans, they come to an agreement on price. Art takes out his measuring stick and proceeds to measure the young man and ask him questions about which room he feels he will be in the most.

The small parcel of land is purchased, and Art begins to build this home which will be one third the price of the new ones down the road! As the home is being built, the young man is sent away for a few months on a job to another city. When the young man returns, he is anxious to see his new home. He arranges to meet up with Art at the new house. From the outside it looks splendid! The young man opens the front door, takes two steps in and "ouch"...his head hits a low beam! "What is this?" asks the young man....and tilting his head down, he turns to the shorter Art and says.."You have made the ceiling so low, I can't even stand up straight in it!" Art smiles proudly.."you said you spend most of your time sitting or laying down, so why worry if the ceiling is low...think of the money that you will save on air conditioning and heating! Think of what you will save in time and money when you have to paint! Think of how much you saved on this house! Besides, not everyone is as tall you, you will be the only one to have tilt your head forward." It all made good sense to the young man, who was quickly satisfied by what he was saved.

Across the street from the young man lived a couple with a daughter whom they wished would marry. They were thrilled to learn that a successful young man had moved in across the street. The Mother baked an apple pie and along with her husband went to greet their new neighbor. They knocked on the door. "The door is open, you can come in" came the reply. The couple opened the door to see the young man istanding in the middle of his living room, hunched over. "Oh dear!" sighed the mother, he's a hunchback! The Father looking at the low ceiling whispered back to his wife "yes, but a very clever one, he built his ceiling just the same exact height as he is, not to waist a single dollar in building this house!"

If we are driven through life by the lower elements of greed and selfishness, even in the cloak of wisdom, we can look foolish!

and as they say...its not what you wear on the outside...but what you HAVE on the inside!

My..You are all looking good out there! Marc :)

Here Comes The Sun

2005-08-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

Katrina has left a trail of broken branches, flooded streets, and knocked out power lines here in South Florida. The skies are overcast, reflecting the mood as we sweep the debris and calculate the loss.

Only one thing will do to help reverse this....."Hey John, Paul, George Ringo...c'mon hit it guys!"

Little darling

It's been a long and lonely winter.

Little darling

seems like years since it's been here.

Here comes the sun,

Here comes the sun

it's alright..............

The Sun! Nothing to negotiate here! All of it's warmth, energy and light giving rays are ours....for free! "FREE" I said!

Just think about it..You don't need to pay for the minutes it shines, you don't nee to cook or clean for it (and it doesn't leave the toilet seat up either!) You need not remember its birthday, or bring it gifts. All you need to do is sit back and enjoy its warmth and life giving energy as it feeds every living cell in creation! What a bargain!

The Sun, a nourisher, a healer and a sustainer. Nothing is more "harmonic" than this Earth and its Sun! So come on, let's all join in!.(Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, it's alright)...............Just don't forget your sunscreen!

Towards the light! Marc :)

Happy Anniversary Eleanor Rigby

2005-08-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

It was this week in August of 1966 that the Beatles released "Eleanor Rigby".

You had to be there, 1966, these four young men had the world on a string (and wrapped around their fingers!). Every song resonated with the joy of romance we longed to have. "I want To Hold Your Hand", "Since I saw Her Standing There", "Do you Want To Know A Secret".

At their very peak of their career, they released "Eleanor Rigby", a song depicting the hollowness that lonliness creates. "Ah, look at lonely people, Ah, look at all the lonely people" the song opens. Some chose to ignore the message, and sang along with yet another chart topping tune, others brought the words closer and viewed introspectively.

What separates us from lonliness?

On the simplest level, knowing that we are being heard. Not just our voices,but that our hopes, our dreams, our prayers and thoughts are falling on someones ears. When these elements that we compose from our soul are met with "nothingness", darkness quickly closes in.There is no force more oppressive than darkness.

"Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been/ lives in a dream / Waits at the window, weraing the face that she keeps in the jar by the door/ Who is it for?"

Without our own dreams and thoughts acknowledged, we are left to pick up and muse upon the worlds that others live in.... with our own hopes unnoticed, we become invisible to ourselves.

"Father Mckenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear/No one comes near? Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there/ what does he care?

and the darkness voids our reality.

The Beatles, they brought immeasurable joy into our hearts with their catchy romantic tunes, subtley reminding us, that we too can be great musicians! How? With our acknowledgement! It is music to our ears, and magic to our hearts! It doesn't matter if you can't carry a tune, the recipient will have felt the enormous "lift" of being heard! The lift is even higher when you listen to their heart!

Thank You Eleanor, ....through your lonliness, I have found a greater purpose in myself!

Peace and Blessings to all! Marc :)

Does Size Matter?

2005-08-05T19:43:00.000-07:00

Thank you to the many who left kind comments....and a thank you to those of you who read my last entry with a grin :)

While the "treasure hunt" continues for the missing G-spots, an e-mail came my way asking if the size of a "g-spot detector" would influence the discovery!......Well, I hope this entry places that question "Does Size Matter" to rest! ( any amens out there?)

The answer to the question, "Does Size Matter?" Lies some 50 feet below the Oceans' surface off the coast of Australia.In the warm waters lie the home of the Hermaphrodtie Flatworms. This particular species is blessed with both mechanisms of a reproduction system! During the mating season, these worms face off in a dance. During this dance, each worm flashes its penis (talk about "dirty dancing"). The worms parry and stab at each other trying to penetrate its opponent, before being penetrated itself!

The fight is fierce.......the losing Hermaphrodite Flatworm leaves with the burdon of fertilized eggs and offspring to care for (and a now useless penis!) while the winner, moves on.....able to parry and thrust again!

Lesson learned...I'll take agility and stamina anytime!

Parry On my dear friends! Marc :)

The Gods Must be Crazy!

2005-07-30T17:32:00.000-07:00

Just a short while ago, there I was online at the supermarket with a bag of frozen peas, 2 containers of yogurt, a French bread and cantelope. While waiting on this "express line" I happen to glance at the magazine rack. Catching the cover of this months Marie Claire, my eyes widen, mouth opens, and my grip on the frozen peas,loosens! I bend down to quickly retrieve them and get another chance to read the cover again. Yes, I read it correctly...."NEW REPORT ON SEX....TWO MORE G_SPOTS REVEALED!".........."how can that be?" I whisper to myself, I thought I had it all figured out! As the blood was rushing to my brain..."Hi Marc", I turn....it's my neighbor....that 30 something hottie, that parades around in short shorts and a halter top! (I was grinning and blushing) "Oh!" she goes on....."seems like I have caught you with your mind ...wandering.....huh?"

I threw my eyes in the direction of the magazine....."Gina.....read the cover of Marie Claire.....and tell me......it isn't so"......She looked and in an instant caught the headline.....she lifts the magazine up and says...."well, this seems interesting...lets have a look here"....she thumbs through the pages.....the cashier calls my attion..."NEXT IN LINE PLEASE"........I am studying the expressions on Ginas face...for any evidence of truth....."well?" I ask...... "Well......I have know about the areas that they are talking about.....yes...they could be considered g-spots, but"...a loud voice interrupts "THAT WILL BE 5 DOLLARS AND 49 CENTS PLEASE" prompts the cashier. I yank my wallet out of my back pocket and hand her several bills.....I turn and stare at Gina as if she is the all knowing supreme being on this topic....."I don't know.....not sure if they are really new spots"...."SIR" called the cashier...."YOUR CHANGE...and HAVE A NICE DAY"

As I picked up my plastic bags with the items, I muttered beneath my breath.."yeah, you have a nice day..afterall, you don't have to look for those spots"

Just when I thought I had it all figured out... Never knowing about those 2 other places......geez,.3 g-spots??? Yes, it must be true...and the Sex Gods knew it, Men have no sense of direction!

Enjoy your new sense of Empowerment! Marc :)

John Scalzis Weekend Assignment #69--A New Ice Cream Flavor

2005-07-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

Weekend Assignment #69: You've been hired to invent a new ice cream flavor ...what is it?

Flavor is not only in taste....but in the experience!

This new flavor will only be served in a place where the diners are seated and served. This new flavor will not be sold in supermarkets, or be available in pints. quarts or half gallons. You cannot eat this alone!

It will come to your table in a bowl with two spoons...or formed into a milkshake and served in glass with two straws. It can only be shared.

This frozen delight will have the subtle delicasy of white chocolate, laced with dark chocolate ribbons and hidden inbtween a flavor of toasted almond.

Once served, you will simultaneously share in the experience .....a complete indulgence in a sweet and refreshing world. You will share in each others smiles, and appreciation of the moment. Most likely a flattering compliment will come your way..something about your hair, or your eyes. As your tastebuds dance, a wide smile lightens the room.

With such a simple intamacy, you will have not only savored a flavor that will last on your lips, but a moment that will last in your heart!

Sprinkles are optional! Marc :)

The Lotus Eaters

2005-07-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

A walk beneath a full moon with the warm summer breeze softly brushing my skin......Certainly, one of Natures most powerful aphrodisiacs!

and so, just one breath of this night and I am swept back in time...........

Ah! A young man in N.Y.C.! One of my favorite places to bring a date was to a place called "The Lotus Eaters". A wonderfully, cozy Chinese restaurant that served the most exotic Oriental fare and drinks!

On this particular date, I was armed with some empowering knowledge that I planned to use to stimulate our conversation. I researched the history of the Lotus Flower and found that many cultures have used it as a soother of the mind, an aphrodisiac, and as a means of forgetting about inhibitions! Also, during that time, a Japanese classmate was teaching me many popular expressions of the Orient....I practiced and my tongue became fluent!

The summer night sported a wonderful full moon.....we entered the restaurant. Having been there several times I requested the table that had the best view of this exoctic place! A waitress from the bar came and asked if we would be ordering drinks....I suggested to my date that we order "The Lotus Eaters Special Cocktail"...and after describing the exoctic fruits and liquors that went into it, she agreed.The drinks came, not with the typical straw umbrella, but garnished with a Lotus Flower! After a few sips of this beverage that quickly goes right to your toes....I tore off one of the petals of the Lotus Flower and placed it on my tongue. "Marc!" she exclaimed, "are you sure you can eat those?".....I smiled...."Certainly, people have been eating these potent flowers for thousands of years"..and just as I was beginning to unfold the lore of the flower, a young waitress came to our table. In a very broken English she greeted us, and asked if we were ready to order. I had to seize this moment.....and so, I began speaking the Asian language fluently that my friend helped me rehease! Both the eyes of the waitress and my date WIDENED! I knew my date was impressed, but the waitress....did I say something wrong??

The waitress put her head down...as if embarrassed....and in broken English she softly said.."I am sorry, I do not speak Japanese, I am from China and this is a chinese restaurant". My mouth...fell open in shock and disbelief that I could make such a miscalculation!...I sunk back in my chair, blood racing into my cheeks, screaming....you blunderer! You Fool!.How could you be so stupid! ............. I looked over at my date....she looked at me, and simultaneously, we burst into laughter! She placed her hand on top of mine, squeezed it....."if only you could see your expression....you have the most wonderful puppy dog eyes"........ The rest of the evening continued with sincere laughter and marvelously interesting converation.....and of course the combination of the full moon and warm summer breeze helped!

and so I learned the truth about aphrodisiacs that night......there is none greater than just being with the right person!

.In any language!....................................... Warmth, Marc :)

2005-07-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

ASSIGNMENT>>>TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE SOMETHING FRENCH................(LISE CHARMEL LINGERIE)

Twice a year it happens! A major department store announces its "semi-annual Lingerie Sale!"....... On one of these special occaisions, my wife will ask if I want to want to escort her through the dept. Like the Trojan Soldier who was asked to climb into the Trojan Horse......I get in the car. (somebody wheel me in there)

Once in the lingerie dept, she wanders off, seeking bargains of the less evoking styles of under garments, and I left alone wandering...staring, admiring the imaginitive creativeness of the French Designers!

On one such occaision, I was stopped by a huge magnificant poster which sat on top of a counter of Thong panties. The Model was so gorgeous in her thong, I began to blush! Not wanting my "appreciation" to be noticed, I moved around to the other side of the poster and allowed my imagination to mingle with the other items on display! .... From the other side of that huge poster....two very feminine voices could be heard....."Oh I love these!"......... "You wear THONG panties?" quieried the other female. Softly replying, "why certainly, I wear them all the time, I never take them off, except to shower and ummm...." "But they look so uncomfortable>" Moaned the second woman. "Heavens no! They are the best. Much more comfortable than panties....and this material...feel it...it's so soft..mmmmmm". I was eavesdropping!...My knees wobbled! "Oh my" the second woman softly said..."yes, these are so very soft...and sexy too". They both giggled, the way women giggle when they share an evocative secret. The first women continued to speak....."I can't believe this sale.....they are more than fifty percent off...I am going to buy several!". I was still standing, obscured by the huge poster that separated us. I could hear them "oh and ah" at the colors and little designs woven on the tiny fabric. Then I heard the second woman ask....."Oh wait, I am buying all of these and I didn't even check the size!"..... My curiousity had reached its final limit, I had to make my move around the poster and get a visual on who these two feminine tigers were. I casually stepped around the poster and noticed two "Very Big Bodied" women! simultaneously, the first woman explained..."oh you don't need to worry about the size....one size fits all!

as I walked away....I smiled and mused....she is so right....when it comes to feeding our fancy, flirting with desire, indulging in comfort.....one size...does fit all!

Hope this is fitting you all :) Marc :)

The Briefcase

2005-07-06T21:07:00.000-07:00

An advertisement featuring a stunning Diamond Necklace has provoked me........

Many years ago I worked for a very prestigious Jewelry Manufacturer. The company was known internationally for its one of a kind rare pieces. One morning the owner called me in his office. "I just sold the Pear shape diamond necklace" he said with enormous gratification in his voice. This necklace was a collection of flawless pear shaped diamonds ranging from 4 cts. in the center, tapering down to 3/4 cts right around to to the back of the neck! It had taken him over a year of examining hundreds of parcels of diamonds to make certain that all diamonds matched beyond the vision of the sharpest eye!

The price back then was close to 1.5 million dollars! He had called me in his office to tell me that the buyer wanted him to deliver the necklace in person. The buyer lived across the country, in Beverly Hills. My boss confessed that he was nervous about carrying such a valuable piece, in light of the increase in robberies."I have a plan" he confided, "and I will need your help". He then pointed to two identical briefcases that were on his desk. "I will place the necklace in one of these briefcases. I will lock both briefcases, and send the key, next day, to the place we are going. Tomorrow morning, you will take one of the briefcases, take a cab to LaGuardia and catch the 11 AM flight to L.A.." He then cautioned me about the cab ride. It was suspected that there was a group of drivers who knew the faces of people in the jewelry industry, and the taxi drivers would call ahead to the airport where thieves would be tipped off to make their heist. He continiued telling me that he would take the other briefcase and take a cab to Kennedy airport and catch a flight to L.A. He gave me the address of the person that was buying this precious necklace.

The next morning I walked into the vault, and saw the two briefcases. They were identical in everyway. I selected one, and off I went!

It felt so strange riding down in the elevator, everyone had a briefcase, I am certain some were filled with important documents, and some had nothing more valuable than a tuna sandwich wrapped in foil, but mine..(I felt)...a priceless necklace!

I hailed a taxi, and with a certain authority, commanded, "La Guardia airport". Usually, while riding a taxi in N.Y.C., I would take in the sights, people watch...observe the fashions, the movement. Not this ride. My eyes and ears glued to the taxi driver. Making certain that he made no suspicious calls or signals. I looked behind us, were we being followed?

Once at the airport, I bolted straight for my gate. I passed by a newspaper stand, "I always buy a newspaper at the airport"...well, not this flight! I passed by a coffee stand.."gee, I would love a cup of of java".....nope, can't stop...and no way will I put this briefcase down to sip some coffee.

While on the plane, I kept to myself. I avoided any casual conversation offered by my flying neighbors. The briefcase stayed in my lap, I did not even get up to go to the restroom!

The plane landed in L.A. despite my thirst, and my urge to go to the bathroom, I went straight to the taxi line and once again commanded the driver to take me to the address in Beverly Hills.

My boss and I pulled up to the house of the buyer almost simultaneously. We walked through this spacious "castle" and settled down in the buyers study. My boss had already told the buyer about his plan of using two couriers, to reduce the chances of having a loss. We chatted for a few moments, and then the buyer opened the envelope that he had just received which had the key in it. I placed my briefcase on his desk. "Click.....click" the latches went up and a knot formed in my throat. He opened the case, it was empty! I sank deep into the soft cushioned chair, like a man who had lost all purpose. "Click...click" the latches went up on the other briefcase, and inside was the velvet box that contained the necklace.

I remained quiet and subdued. We made the sale, the purchaser was exuberant. The purchasers' limo took us back to the airport, where we borded the same flight back to N.Y. My boss noticed my quiet behavior. "Marc, are you upset about the fact that you carried an empty briefcase out to L.A.?" I confessed that yes, some of the excitement had been exhausted upon learning that I merely carried a 25 dollar briefcase across the country. I told him how I had observed the taxi driver, put off my desire to buy a newspaper, a cup of coffee, and supressed the urge to chat and even go to the bathroom! He smiled, placed his large hand over mine and said .."good! You were observant! You were careful! You were concerned! You were sincere! That is what I pay you for! That is what makes your day worthwhile not only to me...but to you as well! Life is not about doing what we want all the time". At the time his statement seemed a bit stern, filled with expectation of how I was supposed to behave in order to suceed.

Many years later, after musing many times about this day a deeper lesson seeps in. Each day we live, is like carrying a briefcase. We have no way of knowing how that day will be filled...until the end of it, when it is opened. Should we stop and attend to each little thing that charms us, satisfies only us...then chances are..we are carrying an empty briefcase! If we live our moments with a deep appreciation, a certain sincerity, a display of integrity and sense of caring, then the day will be very worthwhile.....the day ("briefcase") will contain something very precious!

Hoping you all carry a full briefaces tomorrow!

as for me....hey! I gotta pee! Marc :)

WOOLY BULLY

2005-06-26T20:06:00.000-07:00

Weekend Assignment #65...Summer song dedication......I dedicate this to all the young men who on a summer nights such as these take steps from innocence to adolesence...................................

When I was 15, the borders or moarality were certainly narrower than they are today. A James Bond Movie was consudered to be bordering "soft porn" . T.V. was all about sit coms, and detectives.....issues of sex and homosexuality, were never raised. Condoms could only be purchased from the pharmacist, and femine products ....not advertised!

Despite sexuality not being in full view in the media, the imagination of young men always had a large screen TV playing in the screens of their minds!

It was on a summer afternoon, my friend Ron and I were walking through a park, harmonizing our favorite song, and smiling at the lovely young girls as they passed by. "Wooly Bully" by Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs, great tune, mysterious lyrics, a great attention getter when sung with its throbbing gusto.

"Matty told Hatty, about this thing she saw" we were singing, when suddenly the sight of something stopped us in our tracks.

"Is it what I think it is?" I asked

"yes" smiled Ron..."it sure is"

"I can't believe it!" I said in complete astonishment. "I mean, I can't believe something like that would happen here".

"Well Marc, you had better believe it...and believe me, they had one fine time!"

"Man", I sighed, "I wonder when I am going to be so lucky"

"One day" Ron said, "One day we all be this lucky!"

We both mused at the lifeless condom laying on the ground, which had indicated a finer moment had taken place where we were standing. I looked up.."Hey Ron, look whose coming...The Moss twins!...... They don't have much of a chest, but they are cute"....."Ok...On three....Uno, Dos, tres.....Matty told Hatty, that's the thing to do, get you someone really, to pull the wool with you....wooly bully, wooly bully......"

Communicating!

2005-06-22T19:01:00.000-07:00

Birds chirp from trees.....dogs bark in the night.....whales emit a lonesome cry....."You Talking to Me?"

There is no denying that each and every species was granted both the need and ability to communicate with each other. Each species has inherited a very special and unique language to enable some form of communicating.

Look at Man......from drawing stck figures on cave walls 10,000 years ago....to instant messaging on the interenet! Communication! Its very need has propelled mans sense of invention.

Despite being able to refine our methods of communicating, despite our technological wizardry...we still have problems understanding each other! We shout and argue , talk till we are "blue in the face" and yet, we feel we are being misunderstood! Are we that poor in communicating?

How unfortunate, all this precise technology at our fingertips...but who among us has mastered the art of managing the words. Our words are formed at the speed of light, they pass through our heart which contains a sea of emotions....fear, greed, jealousy, anger.....and in a milisecond the words shoot out of our mouths......and like feathers in the wind...impossible to gather back in. Are we in such a rush to speak....or perhaps, are we just a bit emotional?

I have found a language that is understood and accepted by people who don't even speak the same languge as me. When words are coated with kindness and understanding...the message is always understood!

To all who read....remember, a :) is always the best way to begin a conversation. When I see yours....I'll know you have understood this message.

smiles...sweet and warm........Marc :)

The Price Of Free Speech

2005-06-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

The Central Intelligence Agency has a spy in Afghanastan and needs to get a message to him. They call in another spy and instruct him to go to Afghanastan. They tell the spy that the man he needs to meet up with is named "Abduhl". He lives on the fourth floor of an apt. building. They encrypt the message on a piece of paper and instruct the spy to mention a secret password before handing over the message. The password...."Birds song fills the sky".

The spy flies into Afghanstan, and finds the building. He checks the names on the mailboxes, and to his surprise...on the fourth floor....are two "Abduhls"!

The spy decides to try the "Abduhl" whose apt. is closer to the stairway. A man opens the door...The spy whispers.....
"Birds song fills the sky"......The man looks puzzled, then his eyebrows raise with understanding...and he says....."Oh! You must want Abduhl the American spy....he lives at the end of this hall!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------- This morning's news the announcer boasted...."Sources inside State Dept say they know the whereabouts of Bin Laden, but are not sure how they are going to capture him"

When more than two people are aware of a secret...its no longer a secret! I would prefer being kept in the dark a little longer...and have all this "knowledge" revealed at the time of his capture! I am unsettled with this feeling that Justice must wait, till free speech has all of its say.

Peace ...in these uncertain times....Marc

SESAME STREET LIVE!

2005-06-18T20:08:00.000-07:00

SESAME STREET LIVE!

(HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?)

When my first son Adam was born, my major concern was if I was doing enough for him. As his first months of life rolled along, my list of questions lengthened. "Am I spending enough time with him? Am I feeding him enough? Is he happy enough?" As he grew, the questions continued, "am I reading enough to him? Am I teaching him enough?" The questioning voice within never silenced.

The year was 1982, Adam was two, and Sesame Street was the hottest show going! The characters faces were plastered everywhere. They were on cereal and cookie boxes. They appeared on clothes, bedding, wallpaper, and dishes. Sesame Street was on every street in America!

News that a "Live" Sesame Street show would be coming to town quickly spread. The only tickets available were for a Saturday morning in October. October was the height of my busy season, I just could not see myself taking off for this event. I purchased two tickets for the show, one for my wife and the other for my son. My wife was pregnant at the time and was having a very difficult pregnancy. As the day of the show approached, it became apparent that I would be taking my son to the show. With a certain sense of guilt I called in my absense, and resolved that I would make this day as best as possible. I can still recall the excitement in the voice of my two year old son as I strapped him in the car seat. The entire ride to the theater he chirpped, "Bert!, Ernie!, Cookie Monster! Big Bird! The Count!". He advised me that he knew these "people" very well!

We made it to our seats. He was so lost sitting in the auditorium seat. I lifted him up and perched him on my knee, which gave him a great view of the stage, and it gave me, a great view of him! Oh how I enjoyed watching the show through him! His eyes so wide, his joyous smile, his innocent laughter! His tiny nose fixed in the direction of the stage!

Ninety minutes into the show, all the characters came out on the stage. He had no idea that this was the grand finale. The curtain came down, and the stage was now a scene of silence. No more song, no more laughter, just silence. My son called out for his friends, "Bert!......Ernie!.....Cookie Monster......come back!" As I got up from my seat, he clung on to me, trembling he asked, "where is the Count?. A soft stream of tears began rolling down his precious cheeks. My heart ached, for there was nothing in my power that could make those characters appear on the stage again. I could feel the footsteps of panic walking through my heart. "They're at home" I blurted out. "All of your friends are waiting for you at home" I told him. He quickly quieted down, he believed me.."O.K. lets go home" he chimed.

When we got to the house, I ushered him to his room and told him that he would have to wait for the characters to get ready. I ran into the garage and fashioned a large box into a stage. I removed all his Sesame Street Puppets and toys from his toy chest, and I loaded the turntable with Sesame Street records. I called for my son to come into the family room, where I put on my own Sesame Street production just for him! It was worth it, just to see him smile and laugh once again!

And so it was on that day that I learned one of lifes most valuable lessons, and I was able to stop asking myself that question "am I doing enough?"...because I learned a parents love will have them go to any extreme for their child...when it comes to love...there is no such thing as "enough".

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

A Salute to Walt Disney

2005-06-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

Someone mention "amusement parks"? My mental playback mode is not big enough to retrieve the many wonderful moments spent inside one! So, I will just leave this photo here....for this is where it all began! (Photo taken at Disneyland 1955...my first adventure there!)

I am in awe of you Mr. Disney. Your creative genious has created more joy in the hearts of people than any other known man made entity! The sights, the smells, the themes of adventure, hope, friendship, and excitement all woven into a days experience....who could forget a visit to your wonderful place!

So, there I was....age 5, ...no mortgage to worry about, no credit card debt, never been love sick, just....a little scared about being alone in the dark.......Funny, No matter what part of life you are in....when you visit Disney....you feel just like that kid!

Its a small world afterall...............its a small, small world! Peace & Joy!

Waiting For The Miracle

2005-06-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

By definition, a miracle may be defined by the frequency of its appearence. In other words, something that can happen frequently during a lifetime, no matter how defiant it is to the law of averages, cannot be classified a miracle.

Therefore: Finding a soulmate? Not a miracle.............. Winning the lottery? Not a miracle. .............A person being reunited with a next of kin after 40 years of separation? Not a miracle.

A miracle has very high and strict standards....its a "once in an eternity" type occurance.

So, the next time you look in the mirror...STOP!!....and look closer. While you may have a look alike walking around on this planet...there can be no one...exactly like you! You are the first and last of your kind! Each of you, is a miracle in the scope of eternity! Look for that certain element that makes you unique in this galaxy of time....and let it sparkle!

I am well aware that since the dawn of man, we have not been able to live in peace (with one stroke, Cain wiped out 1/4 of the worlds' population!). and so I pray ...and wait,,,for the ultimate miracle.......Peace!

Wishing each of you some measure of this night! Marc :)

Nightmare Hair

2005-06-04T19:54:00.000-07:00

My mind is provoked by this weeks topic of "Nightmare Hair". Just the mention of that word brings me back to a night...where dreams can come true!............

The Sixties! I know, you have read about them and seen the TV shows and movies replay them........often overlooked in these epics.....the role that "Hair" played!

It started with the Beatles....but soon the standard head groom began changing. Longer sideburns, mustaches, beards blossoming....and then....FRIZZ..... There was Dylan, Sly (from Sly and The family Stone)...and then ...Jimi Hendrix (wow).

For the parents in the sixties....each day they would see their kids making a statement with their hair....in somecases...yes, a nightmare!

It was on Thanksgiving of 1968 that Jimi Hendrix was performing in a concert at Lincoln Center. (Imagine...Thanksgiving with Jimi and not the family).My mother understood....and so, off I went with my freind and my sister, to this "happening" as we called it.

Jimi was in his prime that night, performing flawlessly, spellbinding the sellout crowd. We left the concert in a "purple haze". We exited the center, and got into the car and pulled into the frozen traffic.

We were making our way down a street when a limo emerged from an underground parking lot and pulled in front of us. As I stared into the rear window and pondered who the party of wealth might be.... a politican, an actor, or maybe, a rock star....a beam of light entered the limo...and revealed that the person sitting in the back seat had a huge Afro! "IT'S JIMI" I screamed at the top of my lungs..."JIMI HENDRIX IS IN THE LIMO IN FRONT OF US"!!!!.......I ordered my friend to stay on the cars bumper....."we're gonna follow him til he gets out" I exclaimed.

and so the great car chase began...... The limo zipped through the heavy N.Y.C. traffic....even running red lights.....we stayed right with it...the thought of meeting my idol ruled out any fear from this car scene chase!

After a mile the limo pulled over to the side....I could see it was stopping at the Statler Hilton Hotel...I instructed my friend to pull in front of the limo.....I jumped out of the car with the program guide and a pencil in my hand, my heart in my throat........Jimi had exited the limo and was entering the turnstyle doors............I caught up with him......and grabbed hold of the door handle.....freezing him in the middle! He turned.. He saw me, smiled and winked. I let loose of the door and he stepped into the lobby, me right behind. As he turned, I had to duck out of the way of his huge head of hair, teased far out enough to cover three heads! I handed him the program guide to sign...he asked me "Did you like the show?" I moved my heart from my throat to answer back "I loved it...you were fabulous ..you are the best"......smoothly..ever so smoothly he replied..."good..I am glad you liked it.....Peace brother"...and he vanished in the lobby's crowd....distinguished by that large Afro that moved above the crowd as a sharks fin looms above the water.

Hair......in the sixties, an extension of ourpersonality....we used it to make a statement about who we were. It was our "I.D". Card.......

So many years have passed since that night...I confess to re living each moment of it many times over! And now I muse...how.... One nightmare hair-do......made a young boys dream come true!

just wish..I still had my head with all its hair!

Peace ya all! M :)

No man can Find The War

2005-05-30T12:56:00.000-07:00

On this day I pause to relect upon the many lives that were lost in name of our Freedom.

Some ask "What kind of God would allow for war?".....and so, his actual existance is questioned......and then there is the other saying.."there are no athiests in foxholes"

God does not make wars.....man does...this is his own creation.....the fear and grief that war breeds....brings us back to God.

....to best illustrate....a man is about to break into a bank vault at night.....as he exits his vehicle with his tools....he looks upward and says..."God, I hope I don't get caught" he hears a voice come back.."if you don't want to get caught, then why are you stealing?"..........

We are blessed with free will, but once we trangress on the will of our creator....He manages to leave the highway open back to him.

I hope all of us on this planet can find this highway, BEFORE we march off to war again...and again.

"Humans weep at human death

all the talkers lose their breath

movies paint a chaos tale

singers sing and poets wail

all the world knows the score

but no man, can find the war.------Lyrics Larry Becket ...song by Tim Buckley

"Ridiculous Pet Naming"

2005-05-28T13:31:00.000-07:00

At the tender age of three, one of my first longings was to have a pet. I was deeply moved by the wisdom that "Lassie" imparted .......I was uplifted by the courage that "Rin Tin Tin " displayed.......I wanted a Pet!!! I wanted my own personal hero!

On my 4th birthday...my wish was granted....a Parakeet! I was overjoyed....a winged mascot of my very own! "what will you name him?" asked my mom......"Casey Jones Jr. III" ....... (I believe he was a railroad engineer).......just not sure why and how the III..........but we certainly traveled together through my youth!

Slip Sliding Away

2005-05-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

"The nearer your destination, the more you're slip slidin' away"...Paul Simon

Today was the last day of High School for my youngest son. His graduation is this Sunday. For the first time in 20 years.....I no longer have a son attending a Public School. Reluctantly, I am being "asked" to hand in my resignation on several roles this connection to Public School afforded me.

I must now resign from the following:

The making of a lunch....an art which gave me deep gratification each and every morning....using two slices of bread as my canvas, painting colorful layers of sliced meats and greens...the packing of assorted treats... It was my secret way of sneaking a liitle of my love into his day.

Being a stand in Lecturer on subjects ranging from "The catcher In The Rye", The Viet-Nam War, all of our Presidents, the economy of Mynabar, to........ How to embellish a paper titled "My Most embarrassing Moment," (only a minscule sampling here)

having to ask to see his report card....(and not show too much enthusiasm..:) )

Waking him up in the morning......trying to infuse calm while disrupting him from his sleep.

Coming up with a Haiku poem.....a closing paragraph for his term paper....at 11:45 P.M.!

Driving him to school...(although he had his own car for the past year) ..I will miss escorting him at 7 A.M. through traffic....sharing the morning news that filtered out on the radio....

from asking him as he is dashing out of the house...."have your homework?"....

........I have enjoyed every minute of this role for the past twenty years.....sadly, I must now resign......and while there is great Joy in reaching this particular destination, I am compelled to muse .....

"God only knows / God makes his plan

the information is unavailable to the mortal man

we work our jobs / collect our pay

Believe we're glidin' down the highway

when in fact

we're slip slidin' away.

Slip slidin' away / Slip slidin away

the nearer your destination

the more you're slip slidin' away." ----------- Paul Simon

My Three Sons

2005-05-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

OK.... here they are.........where ever they go, whoever they become, they have a piece of me...and where ever I go, I have a piece of them! :)

The Front Row

2005-05-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

OOps! My apologies to those who are now bending their necks to see this photo right side up...actually, the position of this pic closely resembles how I was operating this weekend....sideways!

Seems like yesterday when I said farewell to my son and wished him the best as her pursued his dreams in the halls of NYU. Attending this school,and living in N.Y.C. was his dream...not mine. Four years ago, my parting words to him were.."I will miss this front row seat I have had to your wonderful wit,youthful innocence, and lively well of imagination.

Yesterday at his graduation at Lincoln Center...he gave me back my "front row seat"....Having earned one of the schools most prestigous awards, he was given a seat on the stage (along with the Dean and members of the faculty)..and the parents...were given the front row for their seats!

Jared, thank you for returning me to my seat...I loved the view!

Mothers Day

2005-05-06T18:11:00.000-07:00

..because as I slept peacefully, you silently wept, ........because your greatest joy came from my smile,....................... because I was the source of your deepest fear, because only I am empowered with giving you death defying courage , having you push me out of the way of a speeding car.................because my name is included in your every prayer........because the fulfillment of my dream is the fulfillment of yours........because in the realm of your eternity, you consider me your miracle....

I love you Mom........and I am in awe of Mothers everywhere....Your sisterhood is a blessing to mankind....Happy Mothers day to all! Marc :)

Once I Was

2005-05-01T21:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my 18 year old son came home very early from his date. There was a lump in his throat as he explained the argument that he got into with her. They have been dating for 3 years, and all who know them, are envious of their warmly interwoven relationship.

Seeing his despair, his inabilty to focus on the mending that would now be needed....and my advice , sticking to him like water to a rock....brought me back to when I was his age....and had found that special someone who opened every door in my heart. For that year we were together, she was my world, and I was hers. We filled each others hearts with laughter, joy and love. Each day our feeling for each other ..intensified. When apart, I would carry her in my mind.....the silken threads that tickled my heart....were forming the threads of a cocoon. Once woven, my heart awoke to this "darkness". Without warning, I rebelled, and broke free....leaving devastation for both.

Three months after this break-up, I was walking down a street and stopped to muse at the display of a pet shop. In the front window was a birdcage with two of most magnificant birds I had ever seen. Their small feathers were laced with a such an intricate design, which served as proof, that only God could have painted such beauty onto their wings! At first the birds seemed content to be nestled safely together. Then, one of the birds began flying into the walls of cage. The bird was sent tumbling down to the bottom of the cage, where it reset itself and began its attack on the bars of the cage. It was trying to be free! Suddenly I made the parrallel realization, the spirit of the bird is like the spirit of man.....it needs freedom. It cannot be sustained within small bounds. Food, safety and love are not enough to keep the spirit satisfied. I then knew what my actions and feelings were all about when I made my move to brak away from my intense relationship.

I smiled and turned away from the window of the pet shop.......only to find that "she" (my ex-girlfriend) was standing right behind me! Spooky?? I learned at a young age.....Through coincidence, God chooses to remain anonymous.

We exchanged smiles, words and yes...how much pain we both were going through. She did not understand what happened, and was pleading for me to find a way to come back. With the lesson I had just learned, I knew that would be very difficult...and how could I possibly allow myself to love her like that again.

We saw each other once more......and then....never again....... She went on to marry......and I left to wonder as this song so eloquently expresses......

once I was a soldier/and I fought on foreign sands for you

once I was a hunter/ and brought home fresh food for you

once I was your lover/ and searched behind your eyes for you

and soon they'll be another/to tell you I was just a lie

and sometimes I wonderfor awhile

will you ever remember me?

And though you have forgotten all of our rubbish dreams

I find myself searching through the ashes of our ruin

all the days that we smiled, and the hours that ran wild

the sad and subtle words and the magic of your eyes

and sometimes I wonder, for awile

will you ever remeber me? -- Tim Buckley (Once I Was)

Once I Was

2005-05-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

We saw each other once more......and then....never again....... She went on to marry......and I left to wonder as this song so eloquently expresses......

once I was a soldier/and I fought on foreign sands for you

once I was a hunter/ and brought home fresh food for you

once I was your lover/ and searched behind your eyes for you

and soon they'll be another/to tell you I was just a lie

and sometimes I wonderfor awhile

will you ever remember me?

And though you have forgotten all of our rubbish dreams

I find myself searching through the ashes of our ruin

all the days that we smiled, and the hours that ran wild

the sad and subtle words and the magic of your eyes

and sometimes I wonder, for awile

will you ever remeber me? -- Tim Buckley (Once I Was)

The Graduate

2005-04-21T21:09:00.000-07:00

In three weeks my son will be graduating from College! ( N.Y.U. & with high honors! :) ) While discussing this milestone, the word "graduate" conjured up that infamous film starring Dustin Hoffman.

I recalled not only seeing the film (The Graduate), but having the opportunity to meet Mr. Hoffman a few months after the film was released. My sister and I had attended the Premier showing of Space Oddesy 2001. During the intermission, my sister and I were trying to decide whether to see the second half of the movie (as we were not impressed with the first half). Another lone soul was also trying to decide whether to return to his seat....a young (and almost unknown Dustin Hoffman). As she asked him for his autograph and quivered, "I can't believe its you"....he quivered back..."and I can't believe its you" as he signed his name about 5 times on my notepad.

Coupled with the fabulous acting in that movie, was the border stretching theme.....a young man being seduced by his fiances' mother. It was one of those "forbidden" subjects that was now made into a major motion picture. Yes, these things happened, but the admission of our societys moral breakdown was always kept sealed shut.

Discussing the movie, the theme, the wonderful music in it, jarred my memory bank......and out of it, came my own "Mrs. Robinson" (no! not a girlfrinds mother....just an older sedutress and not married)...I smiled to myself, and recalled my "graduation". I wondered if she ever recalled me me with the same fondness .....

"So here's to you Mrs. Robinson/ Jesus Loves you more than you will know...........Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio?/ Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you? What's that you say Mrs. Robinson?/ Jolton Joe has left and gone away...hey hey hey."

Graduation......the culmination of a learning process where knowldge has been obtain. Fond memories...are optional!

May all of our "graduations" be with high honors! Marc :)

THe Worlds Greatest Thief

2005-04-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

"Hands Up!.....gimme your money!"........ These are the words of a robber.

"Oh my God!...My wallet has been stolen!"......These are the words of a victim of a thief.

The difference between a robber and thief is that the robber will confront you ..and takes what he wants.....the Thief...operates anonymously....you never get to see him....you just see what he has taken. ....................................................

This past weekend I visited with my son in N.Y. At 22, he is so wonderfully full of the hopes, dreams and ideals that I once held for myself. He lives in the Greenwich Village area, known for its marvelous and mystic sub-culture. A lifetime has passed since I walked down those same streets. Back then the pavement resonated with the sounds of a young Bob Dylan, Joan baez, and Pete Seeger. Hair was long, the air scented with incense and marijuana. The coffee shops were cluttered with poets and idealists, chanting their words that was supposed to save this world. Reminders were made not to trust the older generation...that over 40 crowd who led us down a bad path.

Once upon a time I walked those streets, sat in those same coffee houses. My pockets were filled with the innocense of my youth. I had a "million dollars" of time to spend.

As my son and I walked down the streets, as we sat in the same coffee houses, the voices of my past came to haunt me. Trying to enjoy my sons company and fight off the frightening feeling all at once was a challenge to my soul. The faces and voices in the streets...all so young....arrogant with promise......just as I sounded way back then.

Then I realized.....my pockets had been picked....my precious innocense gone!...removed by the worlds greatest thief....time.

and the song I loved by that young Bob Dylan played loud in my head, only now, the words seemed directed at me...."once upon a time, you dressed so fine, you threw the bums a dime, in your prime, didn't you? // People called and said "watch out doll, you're bound to fall, but you thought they were a kiddin' you. You used to laugh about, all the people that were hanging out, now you don't talk so loud, now you don't seem so proud, about having to be scrounging, for your next meal....how does it feel? how does feel? To be out on your own...like a rolling stone.

Time is strong....relentless......Even God does not have the power to turn back hands of time.

Despite realizing how much had be lifted from me, how much of My Destiny had been clipped off.........The love and admiration that I have of my son was overwhelmingly...rejuvenating!

Am now sewing zippers on my pockets!

May you all stay....forever young! Marc :)

The Puzzle (Part II)

2005-04-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

More than a year passed since that time of hanging that puzzle.

Fathers Day came ....and my sons anxiously awaited for my appearence in the kitchen. They handed me my card. With a big grin of appreciation I opened it.....my eyes widened in disbelief....inside the card was the missing piece to the puzzle! They had gone to a store and found an identical puzzle and assembled it till they could locate that one piece! "put it in the puzzle!" they commanded. "Now nothing will be missing from it" chimed my youngest.

As I removed the frame and snapped that last piece in its place, chills ran down my spine. Everything fit....... The puzzle began communing new meanings to me. ......... Life is a giant puzzle, it comes to us in bits and pieces....everything in it has a reason, and a purpose. Each piece of life is dependent upon another piece to connect with. And yes, if just one small piece is missing.....it affects the whole picture! Each of us carries an equal weight in completing this picture! So, while some of us are here for only a day, a year, 20 or a 100...our presence here is equally weighted. It does not matter who or what you are, without YOU, the picture is not complete!

So now I have two angles to view this puzzle.....try not to focus on what is not there, for you will lose sight of the big beautiful picture.....and, there is no detail, element or person , that if removed or lost , will go unnoticed! We all are a part of the big picture.....so Smile! :)

The Puzzle

2005-04-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

....Several years ago I had purchased one of those multi-thousand piece puzzles. It was a spectaclar view of a sunset.....the sun just touching the oceans edge, the sky exploding with hues of burnt orange, pink and purple....fishing boats in the far off distance..and a beach with a few scattered souls, young and old.

Each night I would devote a few minutes putting the pieces together. Holding the cover of the box to my nose, hunting for the pieces to match. I held that box to my nose so many times, and for so long...I felt as if I had been on that beach...as if I was one of those souls in the puzzle.

Months later, the night arrived.....just a few pieces left and the puzzle would be complete! Just as I picked up the last piece to insert, I gasped! "Oh no!'.....There are two spaces open and I only have one piece left!"..I searched everywhere for that missing piece. I could not believe it...all that time and effort....my beautiful scene of the sunset...incomplete by one piece!

My son walked into the room..."finish it Dad?" he chimed. I smiled, "yes...its all done". "But Dad..... Look!you are missing a piece!" he exclaimed.

The next day I went to store and purchased a frame for the puzzle with the missing piece, and carefully framed the puzzle. Everyone that sees the puzzle has the identical reaction..."hey! did you know you are missing a piece to this puzzle?" I simply smile, and reply "yes....that is why I have decide to hang it....as a reminder....for people will always be quick to notice what is missing from this beautiful picture as opposed to noticing the beauty that is really here".

Another reminder on how life should be lived. See what you have, not what is missing!